Parents being HUGE PAINS IN THE...

[CJFusco]

Okay, now I remember why I felt so happy when I first left the house and went away to school...

...they are always on my back about money and working (last year i didn't get a job up there... i guess i was too busy keeping my GPA up around 3.6... my bad). I work 35-hour weeks and they think I should get a second job! They are afraid, based on last year, that I will not be able to get a job when I get back up to Boston and I will not be able to afford my apartment up there.

They said if I bring my car up there this fall, or if I get the clutch installed that my car BADLY NEEDS, they will not pay my tuition this year. I guess I am left with no choice.

I am so glad I am not coming back to Connecticut next summer. I think I am on my own for good once this year starts. Any of you old-timers on this board have any issues like this when you were 20?

[Bob's944]

Try not to give up on the 'rents to quickly, yer pissed right now and so are they for some reason. Might try a 'what if I find someone to fix the clutch with me and I do it myself to save all the labor they charge for the job atta shop??' (clutch isn't a easy job) My guess is that they are having somewhat of a financial crisis themselves and see the 944 as a splurge on your part (might be someone filling their ears with non-sense). Another thing you can do is use your computer to find a job before you even get there. Sites like Monster.com have hundreds/thousands of jobs available. I never had support thru college, I had to do it all alone. I would have loved to have had some parental support during those times.

[Cebu]

Don't give up on the Parents. Keep the lines of communications open. No one is more concerned for your welfare and future than your parents(IMO). My son is at GA TECH and did not work this summer. It stress parents too..we've been there..Good luck with the ride and school.

[Andre]

Yea doing it yourself would save ALOT of money, i live near boston and the shop around the corner here that i just got back from charges $80 an hour!

Ahhhhh, I was going to get my AC fixed but no thanks, i'm not paying that crap. I guess i gotta buckle down and do it myself....and expect ALOT of stupid questions about it later on guys.

Hey when you get up here to Boston, let me know.

[eimkeith]

Yeah, I did college on my own as well. Left home shortly after 18 on not-great terms. Managed to screw up my financial life, and waste 3 years of the 8 I was in college trying to stay in school and work full time to live. Still repairing the damage to my credit, in fact.

Anyway, I've always had to have the freedom to make my decisions unencumbered by the wishes of others, but it has cost me quite a bit economically and emotionally.

Basically, if you are one of those guys, like myself, you have to take the hard knocks to make your own decisions. If you aren't one of those guys, you should put up with your parents for a few more years.

BTW, if they are paying for school, then you really have to follow their wishes, anyway.

[This message has been edited by redNeckarsulm (edited 08-06-2001).]

[CJFusco]

Well I think the issue is that they don't want me working all summer just to dump money into my car (although I still haven't spent more than $800 on parts and upgrades since I've owned the damn thing), especially when they are paying $28,000 per year for a very expensive college, and another $700 per month for room and board (I am actually paying rent this year, but they did over the past couple years).

I make plenty of money with my country club job (mike, does Chippanee Golf Club sound familiar?), and my mechanic - who I also bought the car from - is only charging me $600 for parts AND labor for the clutch job. That is like a drop in the pond for me right now... especially compared with what I would spend on it anywhere else. If I did the clutch with myself and a friend, the clutch alone would cost almost $400... doesn't seem that much more cost-effective to me.

I took my father for a ride last night, and he saw how bad the clutch sounds are... I get a knocking when accellerating, a loud and sickly-sounding wind-down when I decelerate in 2nd gear, and ancient-sounding thumps when I engage the clutch to grab a gear... and this is all with leisurely driving. One of the reasons the car was sold to me so cheaply ($3000) last spring was because - and the mechanic told me this - the clutch would need to be replaced within 2000 miles. Here we are, 15 months later... it lasted longer than I thought it would... and the deal with my parents all along was that I would get the clutch done this summer.

It would suck if the clutch just WENT on my way to work one day, and then I would have to walk everywhere because I am not allowed to put a clutch into my beloved car.

On the plus side, I was making some minor repairs to my car yesterday (one of the air vents had the little slots misaligned - fixed that, fixed the idle problem - car runs better than ever, etceteras), and discovered that the heat tray that is mounted over the exhaust was missing a bolt and very loose. I fixed that, and it turns out that some of the little sounds that I attributed to the clutch (just a strange vibration when the engine revs) was actually this heat tray moving about freely over the muffler. But the fact remains that I need a clutch immediately... that is really all my car needs at this point.

[eimkeith]

$600 for the clutch job? I say do it and deal with the fallout later...

[Lawrence Coppari]

Well, I would prefer to refer to myself as seasoned rather than an old timer but, nevertheless, here are some brief thoughts. Your parents may not be car enthusiasts and don't want you pouring money into an old bomb. My parents did not appreciate cars. To them cars were to get you from point A to point B while keeping you dry and warm, but not cool in any definition of the word. Your parents do what they think is best for you in their mind's eye, and spending your time working on the old bomb is not what they see is best for you. As they hold purse strings, they weild considerable power.

I would avoid a flare up because one tends to say things he might later regret saying. One of these days they will be gone, and when that happens all the things you did (or didn't do but should have done) will creep into your mind from time to time and you'll think how you might have disappointed them. You may even invent ways that you might have disappointed them but really didn't. This will work on you as you get older and realize they were not as stupid as you thought. Mine were stupid too, back then. Guilt trips are difficult to live with. Once your parents are gone, nothing can be repaired, ever.

[CJFusco]

No I am not on bad terms with my parents at all, it's just this particular topic that is giving me stress. Actually I watched the Red Sox game with my father last night and he went for a ride with me so that I could show him exactly how bad the clutch is. I might be able to convince them yet that the clutch is needed and I will have enough money for school and the clutch.

[CJFusco]

Um, thanks for the input, Planter.

It was really helpful.

[TheStig]

Plantar has quite a unique way of giving some advice...




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Porsche. Es gibt keinen Ersatz.

[lordgrommit]

Planter what the ***** are you doing on my board. if you show up here again I'm going to ban you ass off the planet.

Matt

[mideastmafia]

here comes Grommit to save the day again.



WE LOVE YOU GROMMIT.

Grommit---> <---Planter


SHAUN

[Texatl]

OK CJ,
Here is some advice. You are still in college, and need to finish college. You are lucky enough, as is everyone here, to have a 944. BUT, you need to worry more about school and less about other issues. I don't think you are whining, I think you are caught in a crossroad.

Here is my thought: For that price get the clutch done. Go to school and work hard. Any money your earn, DO NOT spend it on the 944 unless its to fix it. And, I mean fix, not paint, not wheels, not performance. Leave it totally stock.

If are working during school, and earn a paycheck, then save this money and/or put it in a mutual fund, Roth IRA, or any other host of investment options. Worry about the car later. Leave it stock. This way the 'rents don't think you live, breathe, and die by the car, and they won't worry about your direction in life. Be frugal about the car, NO EXTRAS. Save the rest of your money and get good grades.

Now, what'd I'd do is sell the car, put the money in savings, buy a beater and worry about school. Get a cool car, ONLY after you have bought a house, invested in retirement, etc... and only when you have dispensible income that you can throw at a hobby/fun vehicle. Learn the value of money and not objects.

Listen to your parents. Love your parents. Treat them as the generous godly beings, that they are. They are paying a **** load of money for college and you really should respect that. I think a lot of us here would have loved to be in your situation AND have a 944. Because most of us didn't have either one.

Don't get me wrong. I think everyone should love their 944, and everyone should have the gift of owning a 944. I love them. I want you to love them. Just put everything in perspective. I mean, you can't even take the thing to school!

And, don't think I am some old timer venting about kids. I am a young 30, and wished someone would have kicked my a$$ whe I was in college. I drove a Mustang GT, that I had to work 40+ hours a week to pay for, and school suffered. My parents didn't pay a dime for school (I went full time). I shouldn't have spent boatloads on SCCA racing the Mustang in Street Prepared. I should have been worrying about a career, a job, a living and not a car. Much later did I worry about such things, how stupid I was.

Dude, take things into perspective. Have fun, love your parents, worry about a P-car later.

MY .02, and don't kill the messenger. That said, flame away!

Rich

[Dave951M]

Dittos Rich from a parent on the downside of 40. Worry about priorities first, fun stuff later. You'll find that later you'll have much more income for fun stuff this way. My $.02 as a parent of one college age and undecided and one upcoming into the med school grind.

Dave951M

[Shaun's mommy]

Oh little boy, I know these things well give me a call. I love helping inexperienced little boys, (just ask Shaun or Andy) we'll get together over dinner or something. Oh I can't wait. (My husband's not home, you wanna watch a movie?)

Your little sugar lump,
Shaun's mom. (You can call me mommy too)

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Shaun's been a bad boy

[Cake944]

CJ,
A "free" ride to school on your parents dime is really a blessing for you. Why do you think that you need a car at school. One consequence of having wheels is that it is tempting to go for a ride after some drinking. A DUI is not a very good way to start into adulthood. You could always store it until after you graduate and then do the clutch. Graduation gifts can sometimes be very generous. I am going to school sporadiacly, but I also have a mortgage, stay at home mom wife and two very young children. I wish that somebody would have kicked me in the ass to go to schjool and do well when I was single. I bought my car this year, and it still needs work. There are many important things we do, and a cool car is lower on the list. I would not be in too big a hurry to move out on my own if I were you. Things are not easy and job compitition is getting more intense with this economic downturn. Pick up a paper and read Dear Abbey today. There is a good letter that has some advice that I should think about following now, and I am 29. Good Luck.

[p0r2chby]

CJ.

I have been thinking about your post for a while now.
After some thought and a few readings of the other comments within your post, I have little of value to ad but do suggest a sincere reading of all of the comments sent to you. I feel that both Texatl and Lawrence have a good perspective on subject and the need for balance concerning parents, school and transportation. I probable would say and suggest similar things but that's simply a continued beating on a tired drum.

Its a good thing that you were able to have a moment with your dad and share with him your clutch problem. In the end, I'm sure he will understand. I wish I had taken the time to have similar experiences with my father before he passed this last May.

As shared with you in another reply, I am having some of those "wish I had" regret kind of moments regarding my father. My dad never seemed to understand my desire for a P-car or why I had chosen to have a few of them instead of getting what he called a real car. We went round and round about this so many times till we were both red in the face and tired of barking. Now, after his passing, I often read a letter he left to me regarding a his feelings about our family and his life. I get all messed up when I read that he was proud of the way I was able to finish school on my own, get a degree and to keep off the streets and to not let my childhood associated lead me to drugs, jail or worse. He was glad that I was able to keep my car habits under control and to stay focused on keeping my family together and staying in contact with my son.

My encouragement... keep focus on the important things, think long term but don't forget to have enjoy life in the process.

As to the comment about you whining, consider the source, refer to Obin's recent post regarding "trolls" and let it go.

[TheStig]

Originally posted by Shaun's mommy:
Oh little boy, I know these things well give me a call. I love helping inexperienced little boys, (just ask Shaun or Andy) we'll get together over dinner or something. Oh I can't wait. (My husband's not home, you wanna watch a movie?)

Your little sugar lump,
Shaun's mom. (You can call me mommy too)

Why is it that older women always find me sexy? Shhh don't let Shaun find out....


hehehehehheh




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Porsche. Es gibt keinen Ersatz.

[CJFusco]

Well I never got around to reading any of the replies to my post until now... thanks for the perspective, folks.

Here's the deal as it stands now. I will continue to work at the Golf Club here in Bristol until i move back up to Boston in September. I will leave the car here. During the winter I am getting the clutch done. I am bringing it up to MA with me come spring, where I will park it at a friend's house in Sommerville just out of Boston (no being tempted to drive under the influence for me), where it will stay for me to work on and to use as a means to 'get away' from the city (the urge happens often) when i need to. My parents are understanding and they know I am the biggest Porschephile in Connecticut and that I love my car. They even think it would be a good idea to get a early 70s 911S restoration project once I get out of school...