Wife: Problems w/P-car

[pacopete]

Ok guys, I don't even own a porsche yet & my wife is already pissed off & nagging me about how much time I think about it, read about it, bla bla bla....

any of you guys have words of encouragement?

tia
Brett

[rammstein]

Tell her the car is to help foster development of your nurturing skills. You will become a more caring, patient, and understanding person. The purpose of the car is to help your marriage blossom into a beauty like no other. Say this with a straight face. You CANNOT back down from it once you've said it. Make yourself believe it, and then tell her. You can't lose.

Love-
Rammstein

[Zlatko]

It's either her or the car...

I look at it this way..

The car doesnt *****, doesnt love you...but unlike a woman..it's always there.

[Moneyguy1]

Try to get her interested in it as well (gently, of course). True story. I have loved restoring/wrenching on cars most of my life. Had a wife who resented the amount of time, which was NOT excessive: family time came first and I would generally spend Saturdays on "day trips" and usually didn't start on the cars until after 9 PM. She finally went her way, I went mine (kids stayed with me, believe it or not). Met and married a lovely lady who encourages me to have hobbies. She even helps when necessary. I bounce ideas off of her and she has come up with some darned good suggestions over the years. Also, it might help if your wife had a hobby of her own, but you will have to show interest in her hobby if you expect her to show interest in yours. My wife has two; photography (digital...no film cost and instant gratification), and also she is an excellent cook which is best done without me underfoot. I built her a huge "baking station" in the kitchen and that helps to enforce the philosophy that I iterated up above, I show interest in her persuits as well.

The secret (I think) is divving up your time so there is adequate "together" time, but also time for what you like and conversely what she likes; consider these times "mental health times", necessary for a healthy relationship.

When I am in the garage the wife knows where I am, and feels it is far better than me spending time at the bar or on the golf course. (golfers please do not take offense; I got tired years ago chasing a small white ball around a pasture)

[SoCal Driver]

I've owned my 944 three years longer than I've been married. I didn't have to justify it. I still don't. Been married 16 years.

However; one of the best things the wife likes to do is cruise around with the top off. She leans the seat back and watches the sun play through the trees on long country rides.

[jm951]

You could always let her see you taking the wedding picture from the frame and replacing it with a Porsche pic

Seriously though, I'm more in line with Moneyguy on this one and the 931 I'm working on is for my daughter. After she graduates, it will revert to me and likely be transformed into a stealth track weapon. The 951 gets driven about everywhere and the wife like to ride around with the sun shining in the open top. It's also great for long drives looking at the stars too. At least she thinks it's sorta romantic, and I'm not telling her otherwise. She knows I'm not hanging out in bars on the weekends or chasing other women, I'm likely to be found under or in a Porsche in the garage. So yes, the obsession can be used as a good thing. BTW, this year makes 24 years married to the same woman.

[TCMdocs944]

Gifts.






Girls like gifts.

When you buy a P mag or something in that ilk, bring her home a magazine as well. With many women it IS the thought that counts. They cannot stand having something taking up more of your time than them.

[Moneyguy1]

TCM is correct.

Unfortunately, some women feel they have to be (wrong word, I know) "pampered", or at least the constant center of attention. A form of insecurity, I guess.

Oh, well; I can vouch for the fact that not all women are like that. Lucky for guys like me.....

[s928s]

I let my wife decide years ago...my intrest in cars or a girlfreind. She chose the cars..now she has her own 944 ( her second, totalled the first, tried to make it a convertable)

She still hasn't found out about the girlfreind though

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by SoCal Driver
However; one of the best things the wife likes to do is cruise around with the top off.

Does she have a sister?

[pacopete]

Thanks for all the input. I've wanted a Porsche since I got my first Matchbox 934 with the whale-tail, and I love to work on cars, but she's always complaining that it's all I want to do, (not entirely true, but for me it is relaxing - if that makes sense). Last night she says that she is worried that once I get my 944 that I will be spending all my time working on it. And BTW I can't BS her with "fostering my nuturing skills" however that does sound nice!

I'm just venting, I'm frustrated, our marriage has been on the rocks for a few years now, luckily no kids, just 2 kitties.

thanks for listening :-)
Brett

[s928s]

hey pacopete I am in the philly area as well, just above the cheltenham area. When you get you car or need a hand. drop me a line or stop by.
Ther is a gut here that has posted a 86 944 n/a burg and linen for $1800. the car is a little rough with cosmetically but could be a nice project . He may even jump if you dangle a $1000.00 in his face.

There is also a local club show in jersey, just up 95, on the week end of may 23. may be able to find something there or just poke around

[SoCal Driver]

Originally posted by scottmandue
Does she have a sister?

Yes. But nothing like the wife. Her sister could tell you the current resale value of your watch and your car. Gold digger.

Wife on the other had had no idea what make or model my 944 was! Even raised in So Cal three blocks from Dizzyland.

[URIN 2ND]

If she has that much of a problem with you getting a car, she needs to find a hobby!

My G/F started out like that...but she lets me have my toys now because she knows how happy they make me. She wants you to be happy, right? After all, she loves you, right? Well then...if she loved you...she'd want you to get a 944. Simple logic.

Seriously though...have a talk with her. As long as the car doesn't dominate the relationship, she shouldn't have a problem with it. You will need to alternate spending time/money on the car, and time/money on the girl. Don't slack with either commitment, because either one will bite you in the ass if you neglect it.

I say go for it. I think in time she will come to appreciate the car and enjoy it with you. That's what happened to me.

[ronin]

Originally posted by FR Wilk
Nah.

lmao!

pacopete, stay the course! I had the same types of problems with my ex. the other guys here pretty much already said about all there is to say, but i will add this: women need to understand that a man has to have something with which to occupy his mind. we are natural thinkers (and tinkerers) and with a positive outlet of this energy, we get things that enhance the world such as the invention of the airplane, or perhaps the polio vaccine. but without this positive release of energy, we get things such as war and the Democratic Party ()

seriously though. you have indicated that there have been problems in your marriage for some time now, and as women are very insecure when it comes to feeling like they are about to be replaced with your hobbies, this unfortunately does not make it any better. however, your hobbies are a part of who you are, and if you begin to make unreasonable compromises on yourself, it will only get worse later. ditching your hobbies will not help resolve the issues that she has with herself and will only make you more depressed. you need to talk with someone about the other things first to see whether or not you can save your marriage

as for the ranting, go head, it's all we can do to help

[Roger Hall]

My finace hates the car but she likes the fact that it keeps me bussy and gives me a hobby. Plus when the condensor goes out on the Intrepid and we dont have to pay $1000 to have it fixed, because I can do he work myself she likes it.

[speedracing944]

My wife didn't like my 944 either when I first purchased it. But then I let her drive it on some trips. One time while I was napping in the passenger seat I heard the RPM's steadily increase. I am wondering what the hey! I crack an eye open and peer at the speedo and its registering 110 mph. I just cracked a smile and closed my eyes thinking "ya right you hate the car!" I try to encourage her to drive it as much as possible. Just yesterday she drove me around in it while nagging "When are you going to buy me my 944 turbo! You know the one with Blue paint and gray leather!"

I always keep my eye out for just the right car for her.

[Moneyguy1]

You didn't mention the "on the rocks" part early on. That might be a big difference. Counselling might help, but if there are no kids involved, you can both have one of the kitties and....

But that would be your decision.

That kind of admission early on in a relationship brings back some nasty and unpleasant memories.

Sorry for the rant.

[MrPants]

You guys sure are diplomatic
The real solution is to tell her get back in the kitchen and make you a sammich!

[Don 944 LA]

Remind me to NOT tell any personnal info on here.