Funny P-Car stories...

Icey1174 · 07-09-2007, 04:49 PM

All of us have had at least one bad experience of our finely crafted, German engineered, pieces of art break down totally at the wrong time. I have read some recent posts that got me laughing good! Not laughing at anyone, but in hindsight laughing with them.

Share your horror story on this thread. There are some good ones! Hopefully they will post them over here! Sometimes in the midst of all the repairs and broken parts we need a break for some good laughs!

many944s · 07-09-2007, 05:10 PM

Knock on wood, I don't have any real horror stories. My favorite of course is shearing off the CV bolts pulling away from a train crossing. Driving home, stop for train, train passes, I go to pull away, move 8 feet then nothing but free spinning tras... Uhhhh.
I always love the look people give you when your pushing a P-car down the road

-Nick

Icey1174 · 07-09-2007, 05:12 PM

Good thing you didn't try to beat the train! lol...

mambodave · 07-09-2007, 05:16 PM

Well.. not a P car but still funny..

When I first got my Ferrari, we went out for dinner that night in it. I have a bad habit of putting my seatbelt on after Im moving, so I can see while backing up. We had just got in after diinner. Well, all was well until... I backed out then had to make a left turn immediatly. Well i thought my door was closed (see where this is going? I thought I had fixed it earlier that day as teh door was not catching) and it was not. the door flew open and I actually touched pavement to keep from falling out.

People were laughing and clapping......I can only imagine what they were thinking.. "Look at this idiot in a Ferrari who just fell out while moving".

Dave L · 07-09-2007, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mambodave

When I first got my Ferrari,

what a great way to start a sentence

Bringing home my 2nd 944 it stalled and failed to start after getting off the highway. This of course is with my wife following behind who I should mention thinks that the car (and its predecessor) is a huge waste of money and impractical because we have 2 young kids. A bunch of swearing, a tap on the DME relay and I was off.

Icey1174 · 07-09-2007, 05:35 PM

lol... way too funny!

That reminds me of a story when a friend of mine and I owned a fleet of taxi cabs...

I am a worker. Always working. This guy wasn't so much of a worker. Anyway... I would never let our cars sit down without a driver. If there was no driver then I would drive and make him drive too.

One day we were driving our first cab we ever bought, a real piece of junk. We got dispatched to some physc place that we never heard of before. We had to pick up a paient and take her to one of the local hospitals. Not sure why. She looked normal and healthy. Very petite and she didn't say a word. She also didn't know how to open the car door. We opened the door, put her in, straped her seatblet, jumped in the car and we were off!

We had to go around a large circle in this complex and make a hard left turn throughout the circle. Well she didn't know how to open the door and we obviously overlooked the fact that she probably didn't know how to close it either. So I am cranking around this turn, mind you this cab was an old police car, so you HAD to crank on it... For some reason we look in the back and we see her hanging out of the car almost at a perfect 90 degree angle! We almost siht ourselves! Good thing we buckled her in!

I got out, put her all the way back in, closed the door and we were off again! We laughed the whole way to the hospital, uncontrolably. I don't know how we could even see where we were going let alone not piss our pants! She wa such a nice little lady, but totally oblivious to the world.

Just imagine getting to the hospital with no paient!

Marcone · 07-09-2007, 08:43 PM

Here is the rest of my night... WHAT A DISASTER!!!!!!!

So since this morning i have had a nightmare running all day....My car decided to die a few times, on the day that i have to run around like a mad man to get everything done in the alotted free time i had before tomorrow!!!

First wouldnt start up after work due to low fuel, forgot to fill it up before work today..and .. tried to start it a whole bunch after work and it wouldnt fire up...so i pushed it to the gas station... passed a group of seniors and vacationners while pushing the car and to no surprise i get the looks... and oh the comments i got... after that ribbbing... i filled it up.. go to fire it up and .... nothing...

Douchebag in a caddy beside me filling up says "so wheres all your porsche horsepower hahaa... " Fires up and drives off...
Thanks for the help buddy...

anyways...

turn the key to battery, and finally the air was of the fuel lines and the pressure was built up again.. the car fires up...

drive 15Km and just out of nowhere dies again after going over a slight bump at an intersection during rush hour, now im blocking the highway entrance to the hamilton mountain... figure i have a good 30 seconds to get her fired up again before green and.. nothing.... and again... everyone becomes a comedian in passing cars... To top it off... i look at the car directly behind me as i put my fourway lights on, and ...

DA DA DA....

its One of my Ex'es Flipping out in the car, because she pulled up too close and cant get around me now.. hahahaa!!!! She luckily didnt recognise it was me... I had a diffrent car when i dated her...

once she passes, and people start to give me a little space... i push it over to the side and find out that i had a few wires crossed in the fuse box... tapped the Relays a little and she fires up...

got a new squeek in the suspension out of that.. for some reason...

Go to the bank tonight... to get some money out to buy the a/c recharge kit.... car dies once again.. wont start up...

some bingo-winged cafeteria lady smoking in her ford tempo yells over... "im selling this baby if you need a car" , i kindly decline and tell her that the car has never really given me trouble before...
she laughs and drives away yelling.. "hahah famous last words sweetheat " ....

buy my a/c kit which breaks and blows up in my face and allover my hands, while a load of girls are walking by wondering what the F&*K im doing freaking out underneath my car which is propped up on the curb outside my buddies house downtown.

Cut my losses

Wash up and drive home...

Tool Concert downtown.... took me 1 hour to do the five minute drive to the highway entrance... Car dies in stop and go traffic.. luckiliy fires up again right away... but now she's being more clever... starts up but doesnt idle.. jst dies away... now i have to hold the gas down to just above idle.. . with my left foot handle the clutch and break, in stop and go for the last 20 min of the traffic while maintaining the gas with my right foot so it does not fail on me.... Do you even know how much concentration and co-ordination that takes???? got pretty Jedi at it after a 15 min and ....

finally she maintains her idle...

get to burlington 15km away...

car dies while going 60km/h a minute away from my house, bout a kilometre away. quickly pop out of gear while maintaining a roll.... try to fire up .. nothing.... do the 90degree turn to the right at that speed.... cruise the half km... do the quick left and then quick left again into the street.... and pull into my neighborhood and roll up to the front of my house in just enough momentum to not even have to hit the brakes a lot...

I hate cars today

Tomorrow have to figure out how im going to get to returning the a/c kit and purchase the relay before work with out a car..

Im tired....

Tervuren · Tervuren's Garage

Every time my car has died - has been the EXACT same spot. I turn left onto the road I live off, get on the pedal - nothing.

First time was my '85, alternator had gone dead(unkownst to me), and turning my blinker on to make the turn used all the power left in the battery, left nothing for the spark, just died. Scared me to bits.

Second time, same thing, ignition just went bye bye.

Eldorado · 07-10-2007, 12:15 AM

first summer owning the car, the clutch cylniders were shot. I learned how to drive a stick shift with a shoddy clutch pedal.. did pretty well if you ask me.. i had to push it down quick and shift at the same time to get it to work... sometimes, though, I'd stall it out because i didn't shift in time.. (my 1st gear synchro is also toast so I have to pass through 2nd to get to 1st.. added time!) I was in Pickering, on an off ramp of the highway turning right during rush hour. My car stalled. For about 4 seconds it took me to take it out of gear, start the car, and begin to pull away, the guy behind me in a white Olds peels around me and gives me a dirty look and flips me off.. all because of about 4 seconds!... he gets about 1 car length in front of me when I start to drive, I catch up... roll down my window... look at him....

...and blow him a kiss.

when you have someone really pissed off at you for some stupid reason, and you do something like that.... I promise you when you see the expression they make after you blow them the kiss - it's 10 times the expression they would make if you flipped them off...

then I peeled off down the road... it's SO worth it.. I've caught myself intentionally being an ass once or twice to piss drivers off just so i can do this.. LOL

Another time, I was on the high way during rush hour, and I ran out of gas.. just had enough time to pull over onto the narrow shoulder, and no room to so much as open my door for fear of losing it to cars buzzing by. I got the bright idea of calling a cab to take me to a gas station a couple miles up the road, then come back... meanwhile, a tow truck appears out of nowhere, turns out he had a gallon of gas... he puts it in my car, says "start 'er up!"

well this would be great if my ignition switch actually worked!

we actually bump-started (push start) my car on that narrow shoulder, going backwards, in the middle of rush hour... it took a couple tries but we got it... scary stuff...
I gave the guy all the cash on me i had because he not only had to give me his gas, but he didn't have to push my freakin' car either.... but he did, he was a good sport.... and I went off down the road.

jcommin · jcommin's Garage

I always thought it was impossible to lock my 944 with the keys inside. I need the key to lock the drivers door; clever German design, I said to myself.

One day I was at home washing my car in the driveway and I pulled it inside of my garage to the right side of my other car. Unknowingly, my left arm pushed the door lock down. I didn't want to open the drivers door for fear of dinging the cars, so I climbed over the console and got out the passengers side. I pushed the button down and shut the door.

Realizing I left my keys in the ignition I went to the drivers side to get them and was horrified that the door was locked. The impossible happened. Ah F**k, I said. Luckily, I was home and used my spare set. I don't think I have ever done that since.

robs944 · robs944's Garage

Jim,
I had to laugh at that because I did they exact same thing, glad I'm not the only one.

Wasn't funny at the time, but after I "attempted" to rebuild the top end of my 87 n/a, I took it for a test drive, driving down my neighborhood no problems, made right turn onto busy road getting the rpm's up and look behind me and see a James Bond "smoke screen". Needless to say the head wasn't properly torqued and I blew the head gasket, embarrassed, I pulled off to the side of the road where an old timer was nice enough to stop and ask if I needed help; we talked for about 1/2 hour about auto repairs. Limped it home and had a good laugh.

Marcone · 07-10-2007, 06:45 AM

As far as locking the keys in ... havent done it in the porsche... but in my old beemer i have a good one....

I go to the vineland area of ontario.. on the outskirts of the lake...
thinking this would be a romantic area to have my girlfriend do a strip tease infront of my headlights, i park, start the car up and stand by the drivers door and enjoy the view overlooking the lake... oh.. and her.. LOL ...

she tosses her clothes at me... i toss them in the car and slam the door shut... run over and enjoy...

now this car has the same feature..that you cannot lock your self out by locking the door an closing it...

but ... it smartly locks the doors once the power is on and the doors close.. safety feature i guess...

so once she decides there are too many mosquitos to keep enjoying the evening... we go back.. only to find that the car is locked... running and the lights are on attracting all the mosquitos in the moist field....

a half hour later after holding back from smashing a window... which she would have done had she found a big enough rock... i find a wire along the coast line... destroy my paint in the door jam..and hook the lock and unlock it...

car had war wounds... she was welted from the mosquitos....

and i had a wicked story to share... hahahaa

P.s. the ferrari story had me pissing my pants... oh to have been able to see that in action!!!

Icey1174 · 07-10-2007, 06:48 AM

What a stroy... I don't know if you could dream up these stories!

Marcone, where are you? I'm in Buffalo, I am guessing you are not far from me.

Marcone · 07-10-2007, 07:53 AM

Im in Burlington, It was in Niagara Falls where the last story happened.

I used to go to buffalo a lot to get wings from honeys... but stopped going once the border decided italian looks enough like a terrorist to put me in those little rooms and take my car appart to try and find nothing.... stupid asses... Then have the audacity to NOT put it back together....

anyways.... went to the coffee shop a few min ago and I got passed by a lady in a faded red 's' ... nice to see a few kicking around my area.

So ... icey ... do you ever come up to canada... there apparently were a group of 944's hanging out by the lake in burlington/hamilton area on the strip on the holiday weekend... i missed it ..but a friend told me...

Icey1174 · 07-10-2007, 08:02 AM

I have never had my 944 up there. Usually just up there for the Canadian Ballet.

Sometime Toronto to paty, depends on who is in town at the time. The 360 is a great place to eat too.

The border can be a hassle. Usually they just zip us right though. It's ALWAYS the somkin hot, young blond that tells me I am the "random" inspection car. Come to find out I have some friends that work there.

That was the longest stop at the bridge, but just because we were BSing so long.

My son plays hockey up there from time to time too in your area and Toronto.

Marcone · 07-10-2007, 08:12 AM

oh cool.. my godson/cousin plays for a buffalo team now apparently... he's like 13ish(age) apparently pretty damn good too.. how old is your son? they may know eachother... my uncle as well coaches a lot...

Icey1174 · 07-10-2007, 08:16 AM

My son is 12. He plays for the Buffalo Regals, AA Travel team. Their AAA Travel team is unbeatable. They are now Pee Wee Majors. That's what they call them here. I don't know what you guys call them up there. But the families on that AAA team are kinda strange. Maybe that's why they are so good!

Marcone · 07-10-2007, 08:59 AM

hahah.. sounds like theyre on the same league thing .. possibly...

he's on a travel team he's one of those crazy players apparently too... so possibly AA or AAA

Aufgeladen944 · 07-10-2007, 09:10 AM

I've only had this car since December (on the road since April) and I've got a couple of stories. Nothing special but w/e...

I'm 22 and all my friends are into their Hondas and Acuras and other Rice cars. They all thought my car was old and slow. They were wrong I have one of the faster cars around here and I love it. That's why I got my plate: RICEHNTR, because the riceboyzzz are always surprised when their cars get smoked.

Also, this is more embarrassing than funny. My car had a bad starter, and for a few weeks it would start only when it felt like it. It always chose to start when I was at home and I could take my other car if I wanted. It never started when I was out and needed to get somewhere. This was especially true at my school, where everybody would look at me pushing my car to get it started. Very funny to watch, I'm sure. Not funny to deal with!

Icey1174 · 07-10-2007, 09:18 AM

A push started Porsche is always funny! Check out Sid's car. He has an n/a with a SC setup. He just bought a turbo and he's going to put the SC in with the turbo. Watch out rice boys!