I was naughty and cheated on my car

Frank B · 12-20-2002, 04:58 PM

I just had to satisfy my curiosity. I took a 2000 twin turbo 911 for a ride to gas her up for a customer yesterday. Yeah, it's fast but I didn't like the "ride" at all it handles like a Ford Focus. It was like banging the town whore, once you've tattoed her once, you tend to remember the experience. It didn't feel anything like I was expecting. I was so surprised that one of my co-workers asked me what was wrong after I returned from gassing it up. I must have looked like someone just peed in my yoo-hoo. I tried to explain the feeling to a co-worker but he thought that I was crazy. Well, he's driven (borrowed) my car to run for lunch, so, he couldn't resist a challenge and took it around the block to comnvince himself that I was an A-hole and he was just in his diagnosis of me being a few fags short of a circle jerk.

Well, he came back with an expression that would be similar to someone holding a cat turd under his nose. It was horrible. It was a nice car yes, but I'd never buy one. When it was time to go home I flopped into my car, and took off, yeah they're very different, especially after I rounded the first corner... I apologized to my car as it embraced me and roared to a silky 85 MPH in about 6 seconds.. it was good to be home

Frank B

divezic · divezic's Garage

...a technical forum and a catharsis. She'll forgive you. At least it wasn't a Ford.

gt350mike · 12-20-2002, 06:50 PM

HEY!

Watch the Ford comments!!!!!!!!!!!!

divezic · divezic's Garage

You're right. I shouldn't say "Ford" too loud, else another piece of my neighbor's F150 will fall off.

My Corvair can beat up your Mustang.

thamlin000 · thamlin000's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Frank B
I just had to satisfy my curiosity. I took a 2000 twin turbo 911 for a ride to gas her up for a customer yesterday. Yeah, it's fast but I didn't like the "ride" at all it handles like a Ford Focus. It was like banging the town whore, once you've tattoed her once, you tend to remember the experience. It didn't feel anything like I was expecting. I was so surprised that one of my co-workers asked me what was wrong after I returned from gassing it up. I must have looked like someone just peed in my yoo-hoo. I tried to explain the feeling to a co-worker but he thought that I was crazy. Well, he's driven (borrowed) my car to run for lunch, so, he couldn't resist a challenge and took it around the block to comnvince himself that I was an A-hole and he was just in his diagnosis of me being a few fags short of a circle jerk.

Well, he came back with an expression that would be similar to someone holding a cat turd under his nose. It was horrible. It was a nice car yes, but I'd never buy one. When it was time to go home I flopped into my car, and took off, yeah they're very different, especially after I rounded the first corner... I apologized to my car as it embraced me and roared to a silky 85 MPH in about 6 seconds.. it was good to be home

Frank B

Wow!

It handles like a Focus?! Did think I'd hear something like that. 0-60 in under 4 sec didn't impress you in the slightest? Howabout the brakes and suspension?

I've never driven a 996 of any kind. But I have driven a 993 and a Boxster 2.7 and both of those cars were really awesome in their own way.

That being said, I'm more of an older car fan. I'd rather have 5 old sports cars rather than one brand new one.

Older cars simply have more personality than new plastic cars.

gt350mike · 12-20-2002, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by divezic
You're right. I shouldn't say "Ford" too loud, else another piece of my neighbor's F150 will fall off.

My Corvair can beat up your Mustang.

If you wanna race, You're On!!!

We'll race a 1/4 mile and I'll spot you an 1/8th. Or if you want to race a road course, I can do that too!!!!

Please, no 944s or 951s. This is between the Covair and the Stang!

ae1969 · 12-20-2002, 09:59 PM

I dont think their are any 944's or 951's that could keep up in the quarter with your Stang or the Corvair...

..... but I will put my money on the Pony.

todwic · todwic's Garage

you guys know I couldn't just sit here and take it. I'll put a fiver on the Corvair, on the condition that, win or lose, we go find some (F word) engineers to beat up afterwards. Esp. the guys who designed the transaxle in the 88-ish Murc Topaz, The ********* that put the fuel pump in the top of the fuel tank, and, oh sweet Mary you know he deserves pounding on, the (censored) son of a (censored) that designed the (go ahead and just skip down a few lines cuz there's a lot of curse words here, I tell ya what) ign. module and the starter selinoid, and I know it's got to be the same sadistic turd gobbler that told the guys that the heater core in the 89 Ford Taurus wagon had to be behind the A/C lines so that the system has to be bled before you can access the heater core to change it.

gt350mike · 12-21-2002, 04:38 AM

Y'all really know how to insult a guy! It's not a Fiver, its a 66 fastback. The motor is a 408, NOT a 302 (See below).

http://www.kkpony.com/64-66/gt350mike-e.jpg

I'll did up a photo or two later of the car.

divezic · divezic's Garage

I'll admit that your 'stang will eat my Corvair in a 1/4 mile strip. But that's the problem with the Mustang: all balls no brains. Take em to an autocross or a track with some decreasing radius turns and a corkscrew and you'll be looking at the engine end of the 'Vair. They don't call it the "poor man's Porsche" for nothing.

Either way, we have a keg at the finish line, make fun of each others cars, and admire the hell out of our 944's. Everybody wins.

CJFusco · CJFusco's Garage

Yeah I personally think the 996 TT is a step backward from the 993 TT (although I haven't actually driven either... but I did drive a 993 Carrera and it was buttloads of fun).

New Porsches? Give me a Boxster S!

Frank B · 12-21-2002, 09:39 AM

Well, yes it handles in the "not so great category" Yeah it's as fast as hell. BUt I can go fast in a straight line in my LeMans, (the one with the Indian Motor) other than that, it feels just like any other overpowered speedter. BUt it does not have the handling to control the speed that the car has.

I also was recently Exposed to an Enzo at Algar in Bryn Mawr.. the owner asked me to sit with the car for a few advertisment photos for a local paper..... lots of Bling-Bling.. it was very classy.. I didn't drive it yet.

Oh, and another car that I actually like.. a Saleen.....

Frank B

scottmandue · 12-21-2002, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by divezic
I'll admit that your 'stang will eat my Corvair in a 1/4 mile strip. But that's the problem with the Mustang: all balls no brains. Take em to an autocross or a track with some decreasing radius turns and a corkscrew and you'll be looking at the engine end of the 'Vair. They don't call it the "poor man's Porsche" for nothing.

Either way, we have a keg at the finish line, make fun of each others cars, and admire the hell out of our 944's. Everybody wins.

Two words - Carol Shelby

scottmandue · 12-21-2002, 11:31 AM

Oh and if you plan on inviting Todd and me you better make it two kegs

todwic · todwic's Garage

Fiver = $5 bill
F-word = Ford
Ford engineer = A trained monkey with a horrid hang-over.

gt350mike · 12-22-2002, 07:08 PM

I can't put a keg in the Stang. Someone else will have to get one or two or three or ......

Blackfoot · Blackfoot's Garage

never driven a 996, turbo or not, but do you remember that issue of excellence? you know, where they put the new 2000 or 2001 stock 996tt against a heavily modded 993tt, 959, and some other past models on the track with each driver rotating, driving each one. yup, the new 996 tt had the consistently lowest lap times, even including the vaunted 959 supercar, which was middle of the pack if memory serves.

so, you can say that you didn't like it, it didn't suit your driving taste, but to say it doesn't handle well is like saying that ice cream doesn't taste good.

1.2gees · 1.2gees's Garage

Handling is a subjective term. I value the sheer ability of the car a little higher than how it feels, but that's personal. Yes saying a new 996 doesn't handle well is a little off the wall but that's not to say a person (that has off the wall taste)will like it...
Ahmet

Frank B · 12-23-2002, 08:18 AM

Blackfoot, Thanks for your opinion. I am surrounded by these vehicles.. everyday.. I drive them.. everyday.. I don't think that the car handles well, and that is MY opinion. I also don't like Particular flavors of ice-cream. I think the 911 Twin turbo is a dog.... I'd never fork over the green backs for this car.. I'd rather have a boxter, because it handles better.. once again my opinion.. I don't base my opinions on magazine articles that judge cars on advertisng dollars devoted to specific magazines.. I actuallu drive the cars. Take it or leave it.. I also, drove a Lambo Countach, cool looking was as fast as anything that I've ever driven, (Except my Plymouth SuperBee.. that'd be a great drag race..)How can you actually tell me it doesn't suck..?.. I'd appreciate your opinion if you liked it because that'd be YOUR opinion.. I drove another one earlier this morning and guess what?.. THAT sucked TOO!!..Happy Holidays everyone..

Frank B

kenny · 12-23-2002, 01:14 PM

I wouln't bet against the mustang there is a good chance it woudn't lose a critical part in a quarter mile run (it's just not that far).

I here the F word, and it makes me think of the other F word. The one Ford I owned was simply the poorest excuse for an automobile that ever was (yugo not excluded). I'm surprised I never punctured a tire with one of the many parts that lept off the car in some apparent bizare attempt to commit suicide! (perhaps embarrassed to on the car in the first place!)