Rolls & BMW roadside non-service

[Synchro Joe]

When a Rolls-Royce Blows a Tire, You Learn How Special You Really Aren't
Clifford Atiyeh Car & Driver

Had I had the opportunity, I'd have changed one thing on the Rolls-Royce Ghost that the automaker lent me several summers ago: the front left tire. First, the good. Modern tires are scientific wonders that can let average family sedans outgrip expensive German luxury cars. They're so resistant to the common blowouts of their bias-ply predecessors in the 1970s that many cars, to save cost and weight, remove spares. Rolls-Royce is not concerned with cost or weight, yet the Ghost, with its motorized stainless-steel hood ornament and lambswool rugs, doesn't pack a spare. And the best tires don't care how special you are. One moment, I'm pointing its bow through seas of traffic outside Portland, Maine, the 6.6-liter V-12 half awake as I trail my friend's Mitsubishi Evo. In the next, I'm another unlucky schmuck on the side of I-95. I hit nothing, and the sidewall exploded.

Tire shops in southern Maine do not stock 255/40R-21 Continentals, so don't bother asking. Mainers know better than toy with Y-rated summer rubber for all of three summer months, and precisely none are driving a brand-new Rolls in dire need of a $430 ContiSportContact 5, which to my convenience is not a run-flat. The Ghost is dead. With the grace of the Maine State Police, I abandon a $350,000 car on the shoulder and run off to call roadside assistance.

That price is very much on my mind when dialing the company's 24-hour hotline; I assume a personal concierge will answer like those of the finest hotels, offering anything to whisk my car back into service. Instead, the Rolls-Royce number routes to a BMW call center that plays the same Tom Jones hold music that Mini Cooper owners get. It's late on a Thursday afternoon, and the nearest dealer is hours away outside Boston. That's out of the question tonight. Since the Ghost is really a 7-series-right down to the plastic key fob that replaces the BMW roundel with "RR"-I ask the operator to tow it to a nearby BMW dealership that might stock the tire. This is a confusing request to them. I hear "It's Not Unusual" for a few more minutes before I'm blessed with "manager approval" to bring the car to a non-RR dealer. There's no loaner, no offer to ship a replacement tire by courier, nothing. The tow truck arrives with a driver who has never towed a Rolls-Royce. I advise him there's no front tow-hook connection and explain how to put the Ghost in park. Since the Ghost weighs as much as a studio apartment, I hold the brake while he tilts the bed so the car doesn't slide bumper first to the pavement.

The BMW dealer doesn't have a tire but kindly limps my Ghost into the service bay overnight. The next morning, I call roadside assistance again to ship it to the Boston dealer, the only place stocking this tire within 120 miles. The operator doesn't understand why I'd call twice. "Why did you tow the car to a BMW dealer?" I skip the part about the Ghost sharing a chassis, electronics, and various hardware with a BMW sedan that costs a third of the price and instead replay my highway havoc. "Oh, okay. Thank you for calling BMW-I mean, Rolls-Royce-roadside assistance. I hope your day gets better."

I'm supposed to get a text confirming the tow, but it has been an hour and a half. I call AAA, and in 10 painless minutes, I've got a tow truck on the way to the BMW dealer. Then Rolls-Royce calls back, only to tell me they'll be there in an hour. The Boston dealer won't have time to fix it this late, so the Ghost is grounded until Monday. I call back AAA and cancel their tow within two minutes. They never ask me what color my car is or why I'm towing an outlandish luxury sedan two states away. AAA is incredible. The bill for this adventure? $953. The dealer was generous enough to mount and balance the tire.

Granted, the average Rolls-Royce owner wouldn't relate. His fleet manager would immediately swap him for a Lamborghini Aventador and handle the worrying. But when you buy a sensational, hyper-expensive car like a Ghost or a Wraith-two Rolls-Royces that encourage owners to actually drive themselves-is it too much to ask for decent customer service during the simplest of breakdowns? Especially since new cars generally don't break? Because no one at Goodwood threw a full-size spare tire in the trunk, my Ghost was sidelined for four days. I haven't driven a Rolls-Royce since.

The original Silver Ghost, in prewar style, mounted a spare tire right on the flanks. If only it had been 1907, I would have been on my way in minutes, without any reason to telegraph this story.

The BMW dealer doesn't have a tire but kindly limps my Ghost into the service bay overnight. The next morning, I call roadside assistance again to ship it to the Boston dealer, the only place stocking this tire within 120 miles. The operator doesn't understand why I'd call twice. "Why did you tow the car to a BMW dealer?" I skip the part about the Ghost sharing a chassis, electronics, and various hardware with a BMW sedan that costs a third of the price and instead replay my highway havoc. "Oh, okay. Thank you for calling BMW-I mean, Rolls-Royce-roadside assistance. I hope your day gets better."

I'm supposed to get a text confirming the tow, but it has been an hour and a half. I call AAA, and in 10 painless minutes, I've got a tow truck on the way to the BMW dealer. Then Rolls-Royce calls back, only to tell me they'll be there in an hour. The Boston dealer won't have time to fix it this late, so the Ghost is grounded until Monday. I call back AAA and cancel their tow within two minutes. They never ask me what color my car is or why I'm towing an outlandish luxury sedan two states away. AAA is incredible. The bill for this adventure? $953. The dealer was generous enough to mount and balance the tire.
Granted, the average Rolls-Royce owner wouldn't relate. His fleet manager would immediately swap him for a Lamborghini Aventador and handle the worrying. But when you buy a sensational, hyper-expensive car like a Ghost or a Wraith-two Rolls-Royces that encourage owners to actually drive themselves-is it too much to ask for decent customer service during the simplest of breakdowns? Especially since new cars generally don't break? Because no one at Goodwood threw a full-size spare tire in the trunk, my Ghost was sidelined for four days. I haven't driven a Rolls-Royce since.

The original Silver Ghost, in prewar style, mounted a spare tire right on the flanks. If only it had been 1907, I would have been on my way in minutes, without any reason to telegraph this story.

[legion]

That's it. I'm never buying a Rolls Royce.

[MRM]

I'm a reader. I'll read almost anything. But I cared so little about this guy's personal issues that I couldn't even finish this article. It seemed like he could have figured out a solution without making it out to be such a big deal.

[Gogar]

rent a car in portland

enjoy delicious lobster

pick up your rolls royce in Boston on the way home.

Enjoy

[id10t]

Best part is what he said about AAA .... based on my experience, they don't care what you are driving they'll bend over backwards for you (at least with the Plus membership or whatever it is called these days)

[tabs]

Originally Posted by MRM

I'm a reader. I'll read almost anything. But I cared so little about this guy's personal issues that I couldn't even finish this article. It seemed like he could have figured out a solution without making it out to be such a big deal.

You would have to actually own a Rolls Royce to understand the consternation that this RR driver was put through. The only thing I don't understand is why didn't the driver call a limo service to whisk him away, and let a flunky handle the mundane details.

[legion]

The article was written by an automotive journalist who was shocked at how bad Rolls Royce roadside assistance was. And I think he was comparing it to offerings from "lesser" makes.

[MRM]

Originally Posted by tabs

You would have to actually own a Rolls Royce to understand the consternation that this RR driver was put through. The only thing I don't understand is why didn't the driver call a limo service to whisk him away, and let a flunky handle the mundane details.

At my station in life I would not deign to own such a downscale overpriced pretentious vehicle as an RR. My vehicle is superior to a RR in performance, reliability, and even price. But price was the least of the reasons for its selection.

If the author of the article actually owned a Rolls rather than being allowed to drive one for a review, he would have, at a minimum, whipped out his smart phone and called an Uber driver to deliver him from tranquility. The fact that he did not suggests that the whole article was insincere and the author was looking for an angle for an interesting article. Oh No! My Rolls has bad factory service! I'm shocked! (Colonel, I'm shocked, I say shocked, at gambling in Rick's).

By the way. those who actually own Rolls Royces do not refer to them as "Rolls". If they abbreviate the name (which is very déclassé, pardon the French) they invariably refer to the cars as "Royces".

[MRM]

In all seriousness, a black car service would have cost the driver/author of this article about a hundred bucks, which the company would have been happy to reimburse, if asked, So, as suggested previously, much ado about nothing.

[RSBob]

This is the poster child for first world problems. Zero sympathy or empathy for owners or journalists

[tabs]

Originally Posted by MRM

At my station in life I would not deign to own such a downscale overpriced pretentious vehicle as an RR. My vehicle is superior to a RR in performance, reliability, and even price. But price was the least of the reasons for its selection.

If the author of the article actually owned a Rolls rather than being allowed to drive one for a review, he would have, at a minimum, whipped out his smart phone and called an Uber driver to deliver him from tranquility. The fact that he did not suggests that the whole article was insincere and the author was looking for an angle for an interesting article. Oh No! My Rolls has bad factory service! I'm shocked! (Colonel, I'm shocked, I say shocked, at gambling in Rick's).

By the way. those who actually own Rolls Royces do not refer to them as "Rolls". If they abbreviate the name (which is very déclassé, pardon the French) they invariably refer to the cars as "Royces".

We do? I called mine a LWB...or Shadow or even Rolls Royce.

Your perjorative bad mouthing of a Rolls Royce belies your protalariate ideology. However that said they do tend to attract a certain nouveau riche element who seems to want to draw attention to themselves.

An ox drawn sled could out perform a Rolls Royce. They are merely adequate to the task for which they were designed to perform. Comfort and sophisticated elegance while motoring is their mission, where after a days arduous motoring one steps out of his automobile feeling rested and serene. Imagine yourself relaxing in a nice big easy chair in a well appointed library insulated from the harsh environment of motoring with the protalariate. And of course in the picnic basket with the packed lunch rests a jar of Gray Poupon.

[tabs]

While you MRM are one of the more rational and nuanced correspondents on this trivial outpost of roadside floatsom. One should never forget that one is truly dealing with a man of wealth and taste in me. I do have the ability to affect any attitude that I chose seamlessly. I have something more than intelligence and sophistication I have savvy. That is something you can not buy nor aqquire by reading a book.

[MRM]

Tabs has complimented me in the most Herr Tabsmiester way. His point about the difference between wealth and possessions and savvy are well taken and are lost on the hero of the article in the original post. A quick story illustrates the point. I heard of a guy who bought a Rolls Royce as his daily driver. He was so proud that he tried to show it off whenever he could, but since no one else around had a Rolls Royce, he didn't have anyone to show it off to. Finally one day he got his chance. A guy at his club needed a ride home, so RR man volunteered. He was so excited to finally have a guest that he blurted out "I don't suppose you've ever been in a Rolls Royce before." The passenger responded dryly, "Well, not in the front seat."

A guy who belonged in a Rolls would have his own concierge like Circles or Knightsbridge. I strongly prefer the more comfortable and reliable S600.

[fastfredracing]

I'm still stuck on the trivial outpost of roadside floatsom .

[MRM]

Well done, Fred.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

I'm still stuck on the trivial outpost of roadside flotsam .

Perhaps being the gregarious person that I am, perhaps I may suggest the reason you are stuck there is that you are of what I speak.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by MRM

Well done, Fred.

You shouldn't encourage that sort of thing. Next thing you know they will want to join the country club.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by MRM

Tabs has complimented me in the most Herr Tabsmiester way. His point about the difference between wealth and possessions and savvy are well taken and are lost on the hero of the article in the original post. A quick story illustrates the point. I heard of a guy who bought a Rolls Royce as his daily driver. He was so proud that he tried to show it off whenever he could, but since no one else around had a Rolls Royce, he didn't have anyone to show it off to. Finally one day he got his chance. A guy at his club needed a ride home, so RR man volunteered. He was so excited to finally have a guest that he blurted out "I don't suppose you've ever been in a Rolls Royce before." The passenger responded dryly, "Well, not in the front seat."

A guy who belonged in a Rolls would have his own concierge like Circles or Knightsbridge. I strongly prefer the more comfortable and reliable S600.

Don't get carried away with yourself now, I merely said you were not a dolt. While I am sure that the MB S600 is a fine automobile to motor in, it does smack of being, well an automobile marketed for the upwardly mobile swell who thinks he has arrived. Wealthy people who are secure in their position in society rather prefer understatement to ostentatiousness. To that end a Ford Crown Victoria or a GM Suburban suits that utilitarian need for a mode of conveyance. All to blend in and not draw attention to oneself.

[MRM]

In that way the S600 is the perfect vehicle. It is the flagship of the brand but to the uninitiated it is indistinguishable from a run of the mill S560, or even a plebeian E class. I prefer it to Rolls' products and it barely raises an eyebrow. The AMG models call attention to themselves but the S600 doesn't.

So if wealthy people who are secure in their position prefer Crown Vics and Suburbans to Mercedes because they prefer understatement to ostentatious, why do you drive a Rolls?

[tabs]

Truman Capote was the darling of the NY social elite for years. He was their gay literary poodle. Then one day Truman bit the fingers that adored his wit and charm by writing a scathing piece about them. After that Truman found himself no longer adored and was shunned for being so gauche as to tell the truth about them. He never truly was a bonafide member of that set, he didn't have the money. That broke his heart.

When you have the temerity to tell the truth one should be prepared to suffer painful slings and arrows. By doing so one can separate themselves from the commonplace and can assert their own true individuality. That is not to say that one should not be sagacious by being judicious in ones commentary.