Homeschooling

[Fly Mach .86]

There are lots of amateur opinions expressed here about what you might do. Here's mine. I would never consult an automobile web site (or any other) with a problem like this. Find a professional for you son. If that one doesn't help, find another one. Be pro-active.

[berettafan]

Agree on the 'keep 'em busy' idea. We see a real difference when our son has a lot on his calendar. Too much idle time is not a great thing.

[berettafan]

FlyMach we are parents. Many professionals are not. I think there is real value in looking to a peer group for experiences and help.

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by DonDavis

*queue up the snowflakes...

[masraum]

Originally Posted by legion

"Homeschooling" for these kids consists of each of them having a tablet loaded with their grade-specific curriculum. The kids all know that they can pretty much play all day long while mom tends to the daycare and whine themselves out of any schoolwork they don't want to do.

Sounds like the mom isn't much of a mom.

Yes, homeschooling requires far more work on the parents part than sending the kids off to school. The kids need to be helped, monitored and tested/graded.

[flipper35]

Both of our kids started in public school. Our daughter is still in public school, but it is an online public school with so much more to offer as far as learning compared to the local small school. She still attends choir and band at the local school. That said, she struggled immensely with the local school (Legius syndrome) and they offered no help once she got to high school. At the online school, even though the classes are more advanced, she has been on the honor roll. I think she would do well at a private school as well, but we can't afford the $12k per year for the only one here.

Our son does an online home school curriculum because the same local school does not teach kids how to learn, they teach to do well on standardized tests. All the local schools do here so we don't bother having him go to one in a different district. We are right on the line between 3.

He does well, has advanced classes as well that pushes him. He does take music and PE at the local school. He likes to work ahead so he is done by noon Thursday and has a long weekend.

Educationally they both have excelled at learning at a place that is not a regular public school.

That said, they both like outdoors activities like hunting, fishing, hiking. They ride bikes and skateboards and we have a heavy bag for both and Thai pads to practice Muay Thai when they are unable to attend classes as well as the usual yard work in summer and winter. A good workout does wonders for learning believe it or not.

This is what worked for our kids. They have friends they see regularly but are getting an education beyond learning how to ace standardized tests.

All I can say is do what is best for the kid. I do think sheltered kids seldom do well once they get out on their own.

[ckelly78z]

My wife home schooled my daughter from K-5th grade, and it was my daughter's choice to go to school for 6th grade (a good time before the crush of Jr. High, and Highschool starts). She was able to make freinds and get accustomed to changing classes slowly.

My wife, and her belonged to plenty of HS groups who did trips, activities, and classes together, but still accomplished most of the cirriculum at home, and enjoyed it.

[jcommin]

As many have said here, this doesn't have a simple solution.

My story: My oldest started experiencing difficulties in school from the time he went to pre-school. He was a hard kid from birth - he challenged everything. At the age of 5, he asked his mom who was her boss because he didn't like any limits placed on him.
His problems really showed up when he entered the 5th grade. We became very involved parents working with the school system, educators and doctors. My son had several diagnosis: depression, ADD, ADHD but the one that clearly described him was Oppositional Definant or OCD. The school tried to accommodate his needs but couldn't - and the school system has to and if they can't, they must provide an alternative even if it is out of their school district - That costs the district money and they would rather not (money out of their budget). My son was moved to a therapeutic school and was there until his sophomore year of high school where he was mainstreamed back to our neighborhood HS.

The journey was long and difficult. There is also the trauma of labeling a kid as having "issues" not only from children but parents as well. Cuz there was/is a perception that every kid is gifted. Truth be told only 8% of my son's HS graduating class were National Honor Society members.

My son tried college for a semester and dropped out - it wasn't for him. I worried about him, wondering what/how his life would look like when he reached adulthood.

He is 31 yrs old and is a VP of a metal recycling company - He is very successful: he is very entrepreneurial. He discovered this skill while attending the therapeutic school.

He called me up a couple of months back to tell me of his new promotion that came with a nice salary package. He said to me " not bad for someone who went to a therapeutic school with no college." I am proud of him.

[dobryan]

My son, now 17, has generalized anxiety and depression. He came by it naturally, my wife has had it her whole life. No external source to cause it to be there but external influences definitely affect him more than other folks.

The issues did not really manifest themselves until 7th grade. He was so locked up with anxiety that he could only handle sitting in the counselors office or the admin office and read books to escape from the stress of a classroom. They would bring him his class work to do and he did it. Still got A's and B's.

My wife is very well balanced on meds and we were not surprised when our son showed similar signs. Basically their glands/brain is not producing the right chemicals to keep them 'normal' like us. (Not that I am at all normal...)

We got him a psychiatrist to help (awesome guy who was also his Cub Scout Den leader so knew him well as a young kid) and a psychologist too. The issue was not our son refusing to do the work it was his brain chemistry wacking him out so much that he would emotionally fritz. It took many months but we finally found a combination of meds that pushed the anxiety/depression to the background enough that he could handle life. The meds do not alter his personality in any negative way. And the psychologist was able to teach him coping skills to live in the moment and not fixate on an anxiety moment.

So my advice is to keep looking for a professional(s) who can help. It sounds like your son may be somewhat similar to mine. He is trying hard but cannot cope with some situations. I hope you all find the right path for help. Every person is unique.

(BTW at 17 my son now goes to every class as a high school senior and is a straight A student and has an afternoon job. He is an extreme introvert so he spends a lot of time decompressing on the computer when he is at home. But he is basically happy and that is all that counts.)

PS Homeschooling would not have solved our son's issues because it was not a 'school' issue. The public schools he has gone to were all perfectly fine and they bent over backward to help.

[pwd72s]

The fact that nobody in Congress sends their children to a public school should tell you something...

Do some research. Don't want to send this to PARF so I'll stop now.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

The fact that nobody in Congress sends their children to a public school should tell you something...

Do some research. Don't want to send this to PARF so I'll stop now.

+1

I am screwing up my retirement in order to send my kid (was kids) to private school.

[dobryan]

FWIW around here many of the public schools have better resources and teachers than the private schools. Not a blanket statement either way. And we are fortunate to have a great local school system.

[Rodsrsr]

Originally Posted by DonDavis View Post
He's a guy. Wants to do guy stuff. Schools are structured for girls to succeed. More and more "guy things" ( aka, life stuff ) are being removed from schools. Leaving guys to video games to make their brain happy.


1000% true. I feel sorry for young boys in the public school system of today. Even the boy scouts have jumped on the gynocentric bandwagon. Google the boy scouts and you'll see the web domain is now called scouting.org because they now admit girls. Now check the girl scouts and its still girlscouts.org only admitting girls. Boys often have an extremely difficult time adjusting to a system that's geared towards females. If he's raised by a single mom, forget it. The OP will need to go above and beyond in being the strong male figure for his son.

[URY914]

We started my daughter in public school. She started having problems and switched to private schools. We found that when you're paying their salary in a private school they will listen to your complaints and will attempt to help. Public not so much.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by URY914

We started my daughter in public school. She started having problems and switched to private schools. We found that when you're paying their salary in a private school they will listen to your complaints and will attempt to help. Public not so much.

My son was diagnosed in elementary school with dysgraphia and dyslexia. We knew he would never step into a public school. He needs a tad more time to sort out assignments. Because if that we knew no public school teacher would care.

Since he is working on 12th grade classes in 10th grade and getting straight A's, this private school thing works very well for him.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[Por_sha911]

To the OP
-You and your wife need to find an agreed plan or this will cause major issues in your marriage.
-Is there a bullying problem going on? Kids don't want to admit it because they don't want to be considered a "wimp" at home. Your son may have friends but all it takes is one bully to torment him and school becomes Hell.

[URY914]

Originally Posted by Jims5543

My son was diagnosed in elementary school with dysgraphia and dyslexia. We knew he would never step into a public school. He needs a tad more time to sort out assignments. Because if that we knew no public school teacher would care.Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

My daughter was dyslexic too. Same problem with time on tests. Reading was her problem. We spent hours working with her. Finally found the right school and she just graduated from college with honors.

[SCadaddle]

I grew up on a "wishbone" shaped double dead end street in what until about 30 years ago was otherwise a pretty decent City (Jackson, MS). Crime has risen and the tax base has either left for the suburbs or are dying out naturally, as was the case of my Dad residing in the home place until his passing.

The single home in the middle of the "wishbone" came up for sale. A young couple with a van load of natural and adopted children bought it and moved from their McMansion in the suburbs to a really nice home in the failing city, for probably 30 cents on the dollar compared to their former home with a GOOD school system. The failing city has a terrible public school system and that was a huge factor in the deal on the house. They began home schooling their kids and the money saved in the mortgage they take world wide trips with the kids. Then the next thing you know, the house across the street came up for sale. And yet another set of parents with home schooled kids moved in. In fact they were friends with the first set of home schoolers on the street. Finally, my Dad passed away and once again, word got out, had ONE serious buyer for the house after a 60 day listing where my family was tipped off that the potential buyer was also friends of BOTH the home schooling families and really wanted the house. Now in my book, that is a HUGE selling point. Unfortunately, I wasn't the Executor of the Estate in my family, and the one that was basically gave the damn house away.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that IF you can find yourself in a situation where other parents nearby are home schooling their kids, then that gives you the potential of having several instructors teaching different disciplines to all the kids and that could be a win-win. I know in this situation that was the goal.

[flipper35]

Originally Posted by Por_sha911

To the OP
-You and your wife need to find an agreed plan or this will cause major issues in your marriage.
-Is there a bullying problem going on? Kids don't want to admit it because they don't want to be considered a "wimp" at home. Your son may have friends but all it takes is one bully to torment him and school becomes Hell.

Not entirely related but tells how messed up the schools can be.

Our son, in Kinder at the time, was riding the bus with his friend. Another kid a grade older took the friends glove and then spit on the friend. As he was trying to also take the hat our son throws a punch to the face of the bully. Guess who got kicked off the bus. I told our son the school was wrong and I would back him up every time he stood up to a bully, especially one picking on a little guy.

[Tobra]

Mike, you are right and your wife is wrong. That is big trouble.


There is more to the anxiety thing, that is the nut you need to crack