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-   -   Dead Serious. No Funeral (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?t=1067599)

vash 07-17-2020 02:48 PM

Dead Serious. No Funeral
 
i was talking t my wife. i have decided if i should pass away, i don't want a funeral. it's partially about the money. seems like such a racket to me; the funeral business.

but in all seriousness, i simply don't want one. cremate me, toss my ashes somewhere (legal) and beautiful. maybe send out a notification that i am no longer among us and everyone else moves on with their lives. everyone wearing black, acting sad. no thanks.

zero fanfare.

people tell me that a funeral is for "closure" for those left behind. its for them. i've been to a bunch of them, i am not sure that is the case.

thoughts?

wswartzwel 07-17-2020 02:54 PM

<iframe width="507" height="380" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SZq9sDyb8wQ" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

stevej37 07-17-2020 02:55 PM

Same here.
No wish for anyone to be seeing my dead body in a box.
Be sure to end it with no jewelry or gold crowns.....they will be taken.

Sooner or later 07-17-2020 02:57 PM

It depends. Do family members need closure that a funeral may supply.

My little sis would have been crushed without a funeral for mom and dad.

Seahawk 07-17-2020 03:19 PM

Well, take out the "if" you/we should pass away, I am in complete agreement.

My Dad did what you are thinking: Very accomplished man that wanted zero fanfare beyond family. Cremated, ashes at West Point, no memorial, just us. Mom's ashes with his. For some reason, not sure why, since he never talked about West Point, that was his directive to me.

He didn't want an obit but my sister decided he did. Grave rolling 101.

I am going out the same way. No obit other than my respect for my family, my wife and really great children.

Ashes? Depends on where I will expire: Potomac, American River, Atlantic Ocean. Who knows but it will be water.

Bob got the kids, the kids got Bob. No one else really matters other than family.

Here's looking at you.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1595024086.JPG

Pic I took at West Point. Just us.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1595024086.jpg

group911@aol.co 07-17-2020 03:29 PM

Oddly enough, someone out there may like you and wish to tell a story or two. Your family would probably like to hear them for some closure.
It ain't about you. Let them have a party on your dime.

Noah930 07-17-2020 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seahawk (Post 10950632)
My Dad did what you are thinking... Cremated, ashes at West Point, no memorial, just us. Mom's ashes with his. For some reason, not sure why, since he never talked about West Point, that was his directive to me.

The chapel at West Point is one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited.

Bob Kontak 07-17-2020 03:45 PM

My best friend. No funeral. This was it.

https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/punxsutawneyspirit/obituary.aspx?pid=187652506

DerkPerk 07-17-2020 03:54 PM

My FIL passed away about 6 weeks ago and we didn’t hold a real service with the covid and all. It was super nice to have just the 10 immediate family members there. We didn’t have to put on a smile for anyone or hug the awkward cousin. Cremated and stuck in a hole, (true catholic through and through).

I’m going that way. Wife and kids there, dump me where the neighbors cat can’t find my ashes...


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masraum 07-17-2020 03:55 PM

A couple/few folks in my family have been similar. Cremated, then wait 3-4 months, then have an informal family get together. At that point, it's been long enough that everyone isn't in tears and can just have a nice day.

The funeral is really for those that are still around, not the dead.

LWJ 07-17-2020 04:18 PM

That is sad. My buddy just passed at 96. No service. As did my favorite Uncle. I feel a loss that a service would help.

When another Uncle passed years ago, I got to tell my most bestest story. It involved old sweaty dynamite and flying body parts. Laughter is part of grief. It is a release.

Me? I would very much like to have a second line parade. Of course, I will not be there to enjoy it. https://www.frenchquarter.com/secondline/

To each their own I guess. That is what makes us great. And FYI Gents? Cheers to you now! While you are still topside..

cabmandone 07-17-2020 04:31 PM

Is it okay if I shake my fists at the sky and yell "whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"?

flatbutt 07-17-2020 04:34 PM

Mine is in writing. Cremate me, mix my ashes with soil and grow a pot plant with me. My "funeral" is to be a kegger in my back yard, music, food, people howling at the moon and telling stories about me. If the police don't get called I'll consider it a failure.

LEAKYSEALS951 07-17-2020 04:40 PM

C'mon Vash. Think big.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1595029194.jpg

wdfifteen 07-17-2020 04:43 PM

I'm going to a memorial service tomorrow. Not happy about it. The family says it's so they can have "closure." MrsWD and I are so close to the family that we were included in "family" and we're expected to be there. :(
It's going to be a total fuster cluck. The widower keeps referring to her death as, "When she left me," and for some reason that really pisses her family off. (They refer to her death as she "she passed." I don't get the use of the word "passed" - she didn't pass anything, she effing died. But that's the term they want, so that's the term I've been using with them. :))
She was cremated and an urn with the ashes will be at the memorial with photos of her. There is a big row over the choice of the photos and a major hissy fit over how one of them was cropped. "Mom was wearing a necklace I gave her when that picture was made and you cropped it out!" There are so many petty egos in play, it's like a bad sitcom.
NOT looking forward to tomorrow.
When I die I want to be cremated. I don't care what happens after that.

masraum 07-17-2020 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LWJ (Post 10950724)
Me? I would very much like to have a second line parade. Of course, I will not be there to enjoy it. https://www.frenchquarter.com/secondline/

To each their own I guess. That is what makes us great. And FYI Gents? Cheers to you now! While you are still topside..

OK, yeah, that'd be cool. Turn it into something more festive.

You'd be in good company

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WsucdeL9-Vs" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

dad911 07-17-2020 05:25 PM

I want a viking funeral, off the florida keys.

wdfifteen 07-17-2020 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dad911 (Post 10950809)
I want a viking funeral, off the florida keys.

Lotta Vikings down there. They should be able to fix you up with some Lutefisk and Rugbrod for the party! :D

cabmandone 07-17-2020 06:17 PM

Here's how I wanna do it!
<iframe width="712" height="534" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vMiEFyTuuh8" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

BTW, RIP Joe Diffie.

JackDidley 07-17-2020 06:20 PM

Cremate me and thats the end. Already aranged paid for .


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