Who's that sleeping in my bed?
 

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tyson-foods-cfo-arrested-drunkenly-entering-random-womans-home-sleepin-rcna56028

The chief financial officer of Tyson Foods and son of the company's chairman was arrested in Arkansas over the weekend after he entered a random woman’s home while intoxicated and fell asleep in her bed, according to police.

A college-aged woman who lived in the home called police about a potential burglary saying she believed she left the front door unlocked and returned home to find “a male she did not know asleep in her bed.”

An officer entered the home and found Tyson’s clothing on the floor and identified him by an ID found in his wallet.

The officer said there was an odor of intoxicants coming from his breath and body and his movements were “sluggish and uncoordinated.”

After it was determined that Tyson was not invited to stay at the home and was not known to the residents, he was placed under arrest on charges of criminal trespass and public intoxication.

LOL! An old joke made true to life.

I have been drunk a few times in my life, but never ever that drunk!

I suspect he will be job hunting soon.

His daddy is company chairman so I doubt he'll be looking for a new job.

Free chicken for life!

Probably just salmonella

As long as he didn't bite someone's nose (or ear) off... he should be promoted!

Gotta wonder about Tyson :D

The guy is going to be an Alcoholic and continue to ruin lives around him with his family in total denial. Give him some Fentanyl and get it over with.

He's probably as we speak measuring for curtains in his new corner office after daddy kicked him upstairs to keep a better watch on him.


Eat mor chikn

Can't hit with b & e bc the door was unlocked.

I'm not sure on the public intoxication as he was on private property.... charge stacking eh

Don't think you're correct about the B&E .... unlocked doesn't matte.

Ask Ron "Tater Salad" White about the second part....

And plenty of women have awakened to find "a male they did not know asleep in her bed" :D

As I was getting in bed, she said, "You’re drunk!"
I said, "How do you know?"
"Because you live next door."

I had a coworker that was five sheets to the wind one night and went to his girlfriends apartment to spend the night. He went to the wrong apartment, fell asleep on the sofa and the owner woke up the next morning to find him there. Popo came and hauled him off

He definitely had a drinking problem.

To be functional enough to walk under your own power but not realizing you are in the wrong house? That is an extreme case of alcoholism or there is more at play.

One of our customers was always great for telling stories about his drinking nights. Every week he had another funny story.

One day he came in much more calm and reserved. He said He woke up in the back seat of his car, wearing just one boot, no pants, no shirt, just his underwear on. He was in a park of town he did not recognize and was not sure even what town he was in. He never did find his other boot or clothes, and he drove home wearing just underwear.

He decided right then, he "might need to dial it back a bit" and he stopped drinking.

Only once have I blacked out from drinking. I was trying to keep up with a 100 pound lady that was taking shots of tequila and chasing them with beer. I woke up on literally in her apartment, under the table, my face smashed on the carpet. I learned she was a professional drinker, and I was a lightweight.

I realized she was not the chick I wanted to spend anymore time with. I don't think I have has a taste of tequila since.

Professional drinker? That's a thing? Like eating hot dogs?

True story: The year was 1988 and I had just recently reported onboard my first ship, USS Dewey DDG-45. We headed out for what was my first Mediterranean Cruise. Many European ports were visited though just one is of importance here – a stop in Italy! The adage of sailors drinking, oftentimes too much, is rather true.

One of our crewmembers had been out for the evening and during much consumption, had become separated from his buddies. Alone, he started wandering, and became rather lost in the unfamiliar countryside. Several hours had passed and off in the distance he saw a single farmhouse which was illuminated from an inside light. He sneaked up to this modest home and took note of a small bed located in an enclosed porch. Given that it was well past midnight and hearing no activity, he crawled into the bed and stole a few hours of sleep.

He awoke early and… had to poop! He quietly found an interior bathroom and did his business. Not wanting to possibly awake the owners, he was forced to not flush. He silently slipped away and as the sun was just starting to peak over the horizon, he managed to find his way back to the ship. Imagine waking up and discovering unknown poop your toilet.

Sort of. Long term drunks, and heavy drinkers have a huge tolerance for alcohol, above and beyond the level of social drinkers.

It is the difference in sports between a true amateur high school level player and a professional player in the top leagues.

Hence, I call them a professional drinker. Not because they are paid, just performance level.

That chick I was trying to keep up with was 1/2 my size, and drank way more than I did. It was my first time to see that level of drinking.