I was in the washroom at a coffee shop. The sign said,"Caution Water is Hot". Good to know, but the sign was over the urinal and my dick ain't that long.

Why can't I get to Page 123? Is there a huge photo embedded?

A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6. He seemed irritated when I answered “kindergarten.

No, it's a bug in vBulletin. There's a few messed up threads on this forum that are the same way. Apparently a user deleted a whole bunch of their posts several years ago and that's what did it. vBulletin is set for 20 posts per page, so while this is post 2440 on the thread, vBulletin thinks it is the 2450 something post, and shows another page available, but you can't get there.

Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won eight of them!”

Another horse breaks in: “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!”

“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another.

At this point, the horses notice a greyhound, who has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog!”

Female dad jokeshttps://youtube.com/shorts/-2mRCH1k2DA?si=IP7bEv5saQM3eNpP

I'm in the hospital right now... My cousin swallowed 4Gb memory card and he is singing all the songs in it. We are praying and hoping it doesn't reach the video folder.

A good friend is a OBGYN.. In his 30s, unmarried and seems quite attractive to ladies we know. My wife asked him one time why he hadn't found someone. He explained that from time to time he would be given a phone number, but when they would say, "Look me up, sometime." , he always felt they were just trying to get an appointment.

The IRS suspected that a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate.

The agent boarded the boat and said, “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

The boat owner replied, “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand. He’s been with me for three years. I pay him $1,000 a week, plus free room and board.

“Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about eighteen hours a day and does roughly ninety percent of the work around here. He makes about $30 a week, pays his own room and board, and every Saturday night I buy him a bottle of Bacardi and a dozen Budweisers so he can cope with life. He even gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.”

The IRS agent frowned and said, “That’s the guy I want to talk to—the mentally challenged one.”

The boat owner nodded and said, “That would be me. What would you like to know?”

Was in the pub earlier telling my mate that joke about “what would you do if an epileptic had a fit in a bath.......Throw your washing in”

All of a sudden the bloke on the next table said
“my brother was epileptic & he had a fit in the bath & died”
Well I’d have been happy if the ground had swallowed me up.

“I said sorry to hear that mate, did he drown?”
He said “No he choked on a sock”

Have you heard of 68? (No). It's like 69, but I owe you one.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

What's the difference between a metrosexual and a homosexual?

One martini!

What's a name for a Hispanic lady with short legs?..... Consuelo