Lol!
 

A 17 year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two

months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a
pregnancy test. The test is positive.

Shouting, swearing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the bastard
that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a
Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man
with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the
Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl
and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't
marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her
life.

Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a
townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
$4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand
firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f**k her again."

Naughty joke.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

nothing, she's been told twice already.