Bedtime
 

My daughter who will be turning 11 in January (5th grader) is complaining that her current bedtime is too early. The current rules during the school nights are TV is off at 9pm and she must go to her room, then lights out at 9:30pm. She has a younger sister as well who is 9. Both rules apply to each of them. I believe as a parent I am generous, am I out of touch???

Ed

No way man--my ten and 8 yr. old go to bed at 8 on school nights. They usually end up falling asleep by 8:30. Are you on EST? If they aren't asleep by then, the mornings suck.

The thing is, they judge "fairness" based on the kids whose parents don't care and let them stay up until 11:00 on school nights or parents who are absentee and the kids have no effective bed time.

I know I did when I was that age.

I also know that the kids who had "cool parents" are now in prison...or are night managers at McDonalds...or are drug dealers.

Stick to your guns.

We send our boys 10 and 12 to bed at 8:30. The younger one needs less sleep to function, the older one needs more. The older one usually is asleep within 1/2 hour, the younger one can be heard making noise until 10 sometimes. Yet, if we don't send them to bed at the same time, it would cause problems.

When kids don't get enough sleep (ours and others I have seen) they don't pay attention in school, are cranky around the house and not very discipline. Being a parent has less to do with what the child thinks is fair, and more about what you as the parent htinks is right for them. It's your job to show them the good in that reasoning.

Anytime after 9:00 is too late, IMO. Have you seen kids the next morning who've stayed up past 9PM? They literally look hung over.

Bedtime at Casa de Lane is 8:30. We have two children, 14 and 11. Both of us also go to bed between 8:30 and 9:00.

Tell your child that 9:30 is not fair, 8:30 seems much more "fair" based on the comments seen here. angela

My 6 year old boy usually comes to me at 7.30 telling me he is tired. I tuck him in and 3 minutes later he is sound a sleep.

My 8 and 10 year old girls goes to bed without discussion at around 8.30 school nights and 9 - 9.30 weekends. Sound a sleep within 5 minutes.

My little 18 month princess is usually fast a sleep at about 7.

I remember as a child that all the really cool TV programs would come on a little later in the evening. Twlight Zone, Have Gun Will Travel etc...it was always a fight to stay up and see the endings. So maybe flexibilty is the best policy, as the value of the experience is worth the effort.

It was generally to bed by 9 pm and on Friday and Saturday I could stay up late...I remember watching Friday night fights and the old Repblic Westerns on KTLA..channel 5...in LA. And the orginal Tonight Show with Steve Allen...I remember being 3/4 asleep watching Bill Cosby the FIRST time he ever appeared on the Tonight Show with Steve Allen as host...I couldn't stop laughing....also the first time Richard Pryor came on... on Saturday at 10 PM Have Gun Will Travel with Richard Boone...

When I was very young I remember seeing Some Like It Hot in the movie theaters, I remember that it was so funny, I also remember The Viking (K Douglas & T Curtis), Night Passage (Stewart, Audy Murphy), Paths of Glory (Kubrick) and a whole host of other adult themed movies...the only movie that Mother and Daddy wouldn't take me to see was The Days of Wine and Roses, they thought that a little to intense for a 7 year old. Of course Old Yeller was a fav....later Swiss Family Robinson..The movie that absolute made me roll on the floor was Its a Mad, Mad, Mad World....

I've got to ask - are your children who go to bed by 8 or 9 involved in any after school activities. I must confess that my children 14, 12 and 10 never go to bed before 10:30pm for several years. We do not allow any TV during the week, but swim or football or karate or Scouts or water polo combined with an hour or 2 of homework, throw a family dinner in there somewhere, and the kids are up very late. How do you all do it?

Children need lots of sleep, and they need parents. They get friends at school. At home, they're hoping to find parents.

Not sure I get your point Superman.

Thanks for the input. I am holding firm with the current rules. I am fortunate to have good kids and no morning issues with them.

Mine are tough to get out of bed in the morning!

If the kids are *****ing that you aren't fair, then you are probably doing a good job. At 9 and 11 9pm is good. Another good rule of thumb would be to make sure they have the lights out for at least 9 hours. So, I guess if they didn't have to get up for school until later then 9 might be a bit early. If they are waking up on their own in the mornings then they might be going to bed early, but I don't think that 9 is too early.

If I had to guess his point based on reading this thread, I would think it was directed more at the kids not thinking it was fair than it was directed at your immediately preceding comment. I don't think he was trying to criticize you for your 10:30 comment. But then I'm not him, and I'm not clairvoyant, so I could easily be wrong.

About it not being fair...

In the comics this morning, a little girl is shouting at her mother: "I didn't ask to be born!", and stomps off.

The mother's retort: "That's another thing you did without permission!"

My 8 year old daughter has the 8:00 to 8:30 bedtime. We give her the option if she wants to read in her room, she can sometimes stay up a little later. Most of the time she opts to head off to bed at 8:00 so she can get that extra read time. The wife and I are usually not far behind her. I'm up at 5:30. :(

Our daughter goes to bed and rises when she pleases. Or at least I assume so. Of course, she was born in 1970...

I never get outa bed in the mornining...it always 12 PM or later...

Let 'em stay up for another half hour, but no tv after 6:00. Get 'em to read a book for fun/interest, not school related.