Huh.
 

"Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"

"That was no lady, that was my wife".

Henny Youngman lives...

Yes.

I love that. It's not that funny but it leaves me quitely laughing to myself for hours.

One of my faves:

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

my wife said i never take her anywhere.
she told me to take her someplace she had never been.
so i took her to the kitchen.

http://www.badpets.net/Humor/LongLists/RodneyDangerfield.html

I asked her if she liked to smoke after sex. She said.."No, one drag is enough."

"My wife's a magician, she turns money into shlt!"

Thanks, Rodney Dangerfield

Comedy gold, Rodney....

"But Im a Country Member!"

"OK, I'll remember..."

Or, and I sure Im misquoting Rodney....


She wanted to join the Yacht Club, but she didnt have a yacht. She couldnt join the Golf Glub because she couldnt play golf. So she joined the Country Club instead....."

Someone asked me why I always take my wife with me. I told them it's better than kissing her goodbye.

I miss my wife. But my aim is getting better.

The other night my wife and I were having sex, and she stopped right in the middle of it. I asked her, "What's wrong? You can't think of anyone, either?"

Take my wife...please!

Our last fight was my fault. Wife asked me what was on tv. I said "dust".

Do you smoke after sex? Gee, I never looked.

My wife’s credit card was stolen but I didn’t report it, the thief was charging less than my wife was!
Author “Rodney Dangerfield ?”

My wife and I were walking to a nearby resturant. Across the busy road a woman called out "How do you get to the other side of the road?", my wife yells back "Duh, you ARE on the other side of the road".

My wife fell off her bike so I ran up and said "... have an accident?" She said "No thanks, I've just had one".