The reason they call it golf is because aw ***** was already taken.

Ummmm, yeah.


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The clown hole used to scare the crap out of me too! My best ever was a 4 on that one...hell, that was half my age :)

Stayed up all night partying and didn't go to sleep before a 5:45am tee time. Birdied the first hole.

Telling the retards at a PGA Championship game to shut up when Tiger tee'd off and they yelled "You the man!." Jerkoffs.

I loved the part in "Jackass" where the guys are in camo in the bushes with an air horn waiting for these golfers (that obviously take it WAAAAAAY too seriously) to tee off. Funny stuff.

I golf weekly at De Bell in Burbank, CA., which happens to be up in the foothills of Burbank/Glendale, and full of wildlife. While standing on a teebox one day, happened to notice a mountain lion about 25 yards away laying in the shade. It was moderately sized, but large enough to make me skip the tee shot!


This photo is of what used to be the 8th hole, a 310 yard par 4 which is clearly driveable. I'm holding the pin and standing behind my drive; my friend Bob is standing next to his approach shot from about 75 yards out...we both made our puts, his for birdie...mine for eagle.

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I often explain to people that the best thing about golf is that, unlike other sports, every once and a while you hit a shot that is equally as good as a pro. The goal is simply to hit more and more of those 'pure' shots every round. Few people will ever experience dunking on Shaq (or dunking a basketball period), hitting a Clemens fastball 400 feet over a centerfield wall, or pulling a Ray Lewis on some innocent receiver coming over the middle. But every once and a while you will flush a 7 iron, and whether that means the ball travels 110 or 180 yards, if you hit it pure, and it went where you intended it to go, you just played it like a pro. None of us has a short game like Phil, but once every blue moon I'll hit one stiff from the beach...

...btw, my cell phone doesn't work on this particular coarse due to the foothills, which is a BEAUTIFUL THING...:cool:

My friends and I have been talking about reenacting that forever, and this summer we are doing. I told my dad and he just laughed at me, called me an idiot, and gave me his advice on how to carry it out.

Almost all my memorable golf stories involve alcohol, a golf cart, and someone stupid. That's because I never got good at the sport. I did manage to shoot 75 and 78 within weeks of each other on a par 70 course. Have had many more scores over 90 than under. Used to play a lot, now almost never.

One notable golf day, didn't include me. My late father-in-law was playing with my brother-in-law and they both scored their first holes-in-one. Back to back.... one aced hole 8 and they other aced 9. It was a pitch and putt course, but both holes were over 130 yards, so no gimme's.