Fking Salads
 

Saturday night I made myself a nice salad. Some Iceberg Lettuce, Avocado, Tomato, Swiss Cheese and Ranch Dressing with some freshly ground Black Pepper. Halfway through the salad I bite down on something hard and the pain went up my tooth. I just knew it was going to be bad. It took me a coupla days to get to the dentist. Today she confirmed it, the tooth is split right down the middle. It has to come out.

The same thing happened with another tooth and a salad about 4 years ago, only that time it was a Kalamata Olive pit that did the damage on a tooth that had an old filling. That tooth had to be pulled as well.

So I am scheduled to go into the specialist on June 2 to get the offending tooth pulled and 2 implants put in. That is going to cost in the hood of $4500.00 for the surgery alone.

Until then the dentist ground down the offending tooth and put a bonding agent on it to hold it together to keep it from causing me pain. While she was doing the procedure even through she had given me a coupla heavy shots to numb the pain, the tooth was so hot that it was like white hot pain. For some reason the tooth has not been sensitive to hot, cold or liquids. But bite down wrong and Ohhh boy for 5 minutes I just have to sit there and whimper like a little puppy

Well, that will teach you not to eat some random redneck salad. If you want some recipes for the good stuff, I can help you out. The original Cobb salad, a nice Crab Louie, an authentic Caesar, and more. I'm your man.

Seriously though, that is not good news. My wife has been fighting a tooth problem for years. Multiple crowns, root canal, now the damn thing has to come out. My sympathies to you, 'cause life's going to suck for a while. Maybe you should write a book... the Tabs diet....

Liquor up, baby,
JR

Why Iceberg lettuce? There is no nutritional value. Get Romaine or wild lettuce.

Soon we can call you toothless? I hear dentures aren't all that bad, once you consider the alternatives...

Now that's eating healthy!

Iceberg Lettuce= water

Avocado= fat

Tomato= nutrition

Swiss Cheese= fat

Ranch Dressing= fat

Its been a long time since you've posted something interesting. This is good stuff. One option... just get them all pulled and get dentures.

I ******* love avocados. LOVE THEM. Picture a plate with a properly seasoned/cooked steak, slices of AVOCADO, and a little side of rice with a fried egg on top. That's a meal. NOTE THE LACK OF ICEBERG LETUCE, RANCH DRESSING AND THAT GAWD AWFUL FAUX WALL COVERING IN YOUR HOUSE. Unfortunately, without a decent 40 mile bike ride the next day, your dream of being able to see your pen0r without a mirror will still just be a dream.

Bernie, you're killin' me! :D

please share!!!
i love a good Caesar salad

You must be British

What did you bite into? And that sounds quite high

Aw jeez tabs. I got dizzy reading your post. Tooth stuff makes me seriously squeamish. Sorry to hear it, hope the doc gets you fixed up soon. I still laugh thinking of my dentist extracting my wisdom teeth. She's about half my size, and was practically perched on the chair with a pair of pliers, pulling for all she was worth. Finally let go with one of the more sickening sounds I've ever heard. Wet, popping, snapping sound like bone breaking. I always wondered how she didn't go flying backwards right thru the wall, but I was gassed out of my mind. Errrr anyway, good luck with that.

What the heck did you bite down on?

You really got to watch your salads as well as other fruits. A buddy of mine and I were recently at a conference at a 'fancy' hotel in the city. He picked up some chocolate covered strawberries and after his first bite he spit out the whole thing in the middle of the lecture. The brown stuff wasn't chocolate - it was a clump of dirt! Unfreak'n believable.

Popeye?

Tabs, we are victims of the school dental nurse era. If they suspected a problem they would drill the tooth out leaving just a weak shell, then fill it with mercury. I think I've just figured out why we're all half mad.

Boil some water, put an egg in a decent sized bowl and fill with water, set aside while you are doing this other stuff.

Get some anchovie fillets, put a few in your bowl you are making your salad in(wood is ideal, plastic is okay, metal is not so good), squeeze in the juice of a lemon, take a few forks and shred up the anchovies in the lemon, mix in some garlic, mix in a dollop of dijon mustard, some olive oil(good olive oil)whisk together, take your egg(white will be sort of cooked from sitting in boiling water) and whisk that in, toss with romaine lettuce, parmesan cheese, croutons and put on fresh ground black pepper to taste. May have forgotten something, been a while.

Next week, we learn how to make Bananas Foster

It doesn't matter what kind of fking salad I ate or can make...the point is that that salad shouldn't have had anything in it that could fracture a tooth!!!!

I had seven fillings done when I was 15 years old. Five of those were because the DDS said those teeth had soft enamel. The first of those teeth failed when I was 35 years old. To date 5 of those teeth have caused problems, and one other had the filling replaced. This is the first tooth that wasn't one of the orginal seven. Lets see now, that is how many years..40....

Bush hates salads.

:eek: You are definitely doing something wrong with that salad. I have been tossing salads for quite a while now and the only thing that has ever bitten me was the girl. :p

Okay,

Shred 2 oz. of anchovy fillets (white ones from Spain are good) and add 5 cloves of well crushed garlic. If you want, you can crush the garlic in the bowl you plan to dress the salad in. Whisk in 3 egg yolks, 1/4 tsp. freshly ground pepper, 1/2 tsp. Maggi sauce and 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce. Mix well, then add 1/4 cup of feshly squeezed lime juice. Slowly whisk in 1 cup plus 2 TB. of good quality olive oil, in a fine stream, then add 2 TB freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.

Wash the center leaves of two heads of Romaine lettuce and dry them. Don't use the outer leaves. Slice a baguette and fry the slices in olive oil until golden. Gently toss the lettuce in the dressing, add 3 to 4 TB more of the grated cheese and serve with the fried baguettes, about 6 per salad.

If you want, you can make smaller croutons, instead of the sliced baguettes, but the slices are more authentic. If you don't have Maggi sauce, substitute more Worcestershire sauce.

JR

Did somebody need a recipe for Bananas Foster.....?

That salad was just punishing you for not including any pork products. Ham? Bacon?

No anchovies. Yuk.

Salad is supposed to be plants. Beef, chicken, tereyaki strips, bacon, diced ham and the like have no business on it, IMHO. To each their own but I fail to see the point of having something on a menu that's supposed to be healthy/vegetarian and then ruining it with unhealthy stuff like meat products or heavy-arse dressings (blue cheese, ranch, etc.) Keep it simple/light and it's the best. Just my opinion.

Yea but you liked it and that does not count!

Tabs, get well and inspect that lettuce better next time

Joe

Anchovies are heaven. What do you think is the secret ingredient of worsershire sauce?

Made yourself a salad? Really? Think about that Tabs-Man - sue that buffet!

You should have a talk with the dumbass that prepared it for you. Wait a minute..........

oops, forgot the worcestershire sauce, impossible to do if you are actually making it. It is not a Caesar salad without anchovies

I guess the point of this little exercise is that even simple innocuous things can bite you on the A$$. I have been very carefull since my last little episode not to put things in my salad that can cause me pain. Pain is a good teacher of lessons. Yet even though I was carefull something bit me.

good simple salad:

Romaine Lettuce or spinach
quartered tomatos
chopped green olives/pimentos
juice of one lemon
olive oil
fresh grated parmessian cheese
fresh ground pepper
toss

I wouldn't be so quick to blame the salad.

I grew up in europe and an era of non-flouridated water. Developed numerous caxities despite regular dental visits. As my dentist explained to me, dentistry of 30-40 years ago was to drill relatively large holes and pack with amalgam. Over time the filling loosens allowing the sides of the tooth to flex and fatigue. I've sheared seversal teeth in recent years eating innocuous foods and even one time just grinding my teeth.

We're just getting old tabby. +/- $2K per implant is what I've paid.