Are 4 letter works socially acceptable in your world?

Jims5543 · 07-17-2008, 07:18 PM

I met a friend/competitor for lunch today at Ruby Tuesdays. A coworker accompanied me so there were 3 of us sitting in there eating lunch.

My friend uses the F-word for a verb, adjective, pronoun, noun, you name it its used every other word. The funny part is my wife and I have been out with him and his wife and when he is with the ladies he does not talk like this, especially his wife.

When my wife and I were out with him sans his wife he slipped and immediatly turned to my wife and apologized.

Yet, here we are in a somewhat empty (it used to be a wait for a table 2-3 years ago) restaurant talking shop and swapping other stories.

I am noticing out of the corner of my eye he is irritating folks at other tables. Once we were done with lunch we were just sitting and talking when a family came in, husband, wife and 2 kids around 7-10 years old.

I panicked inside and made an excuse looking at my watch that I had to get going. We stood up and walked out with only one F-bomb dropped as the family happened to be walking by the table, the wifes head snapped around at him oblivious to his infraction.

I was discussing this with my coworker forgetting he talks like this too, he picked up on my panic and quick exit and thought it was funny. He feels they are only words and he talks like that in front of his wife, 8 year old and 13 year old daughters. He does not see the problem. I think its poor form and a bad example for the kids and disrespectful to the wife, BTW she can out curse him and make a sailer blush, so that might not actually be the case here, the disrespect.

Am I a prude, I feel a gentleman should conduct themselves in such a manner, yes on job sites and in trucker dives all bets are off but a local Ruby Tuesdays at lunch time with woman and kids in earshot? Show some manners.

Or am I out to lunch (no pun intended) here?

HardDrive · 07-17-2008, 07:19 PM

F*ck Yes.

legion · 07-17-2008, 07:21 PM

I get like that, but only when around my college buddies sans spouses.

In the rest of my life, I'm a respectable adult.

HardDrive · 07-17-2008, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Cesiro

Am I a prude

NO. You are absolutely right. I have worked hard to watch what I say. Both of my parents swore like sailors. I don't want my child growing up with that. Angry words all the time.......

I have glared people down who have cursed in front of my daughter. Not acceptable at home, and certainly no acceptable from some guy 2 tables away in a restaurant.

daepp · daepp's Garage

You are no prude. A little civility goes a long way in my world!

stomachmonkey · 07-17-2008, 07:45 PM

Interesting question. I used to curse like a truck driver. Had kids and immediately turned it off, at home at least.

Move from f'n A NY to bible belt TX and am now highly conscious of the cursing never knowing who I might offend.

We are working on a new game, old world Steampunk style. The developer has the f bomb and the C word in the dialog. Developer is in Australia and Shanghai and they don't see an issue with the use of the c word.

I have an issue with it as it does not add any value to the gameplay and they fell that taking it out is censorship. I think it's just showing good taste.

pwd72s · 07-17-2008, 07:50 PM

To answer the question? F'n A!...

LeeH · 07-17-2008, 07:56 PM

It's basic respect for other people. If it's just you and me, I don't care what you say. I was in the Navy so I'm not going to be offended. If my 8 year old wanders in the room, then it's time to self sensor the four letter words. I usually just offer a friendly, "Hey, let's not teach the 8 year old any new vocabulary" when people let things slip. That usually does the trick.

That being said, we were looking for a parking spot at a busy trail head when my 8 year old said in a very thoughtful voice, "I wonder when we're going to find a damn parking place." My wife and I had to hold back our laughter. We don't even casually swear in front of her so we figure she got it from reading the Harry Potter books.

Danny_Ocean · 07-17-2008, 11:57 PM

When I lived in California, I rarely heard the "N" word. Now, here in FLA, I hear it almost daily (I'm referring to whites using it as a derogatory term, not blacks using it amongst each other).

Still shocks me to this day... but that's FLA for you...

m21sniper · 07-18-2008, 12:39 AM

Ex-Infantry, Ex-bartender, Ex-mechanic, current Repossessor.

What do you all think?

LOL

berettafan · 07-18-2008, 02:14 AM

NEVER around ANY children, even if their parents are trailer trash.

But i do think the above is one of the funniest farking things i've seen in a LONG time.

flashgordon13 · 07-18-2008, 03:37 AM

Thanks for that f'ing video. It f'ing made my f'ing morning. I f'ing laughed like a f***.

TerryBPP · 07-18-2008, 04:23 AM

Jim, you have a lot rattling around in that head of yours these days huh?

BTW, might be doing some work over on the east coast for Race Trac, I'll give you a call.

KFC911 · 07-18-2008, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Cesiro

...Am I a prude, I feel a gentleman should conduct themselves in such a manner, yes on job sites and in trucker dives all bets are off but a local Ruby Tuesdays at lunch time with woman and kids in earshot? Show some manners....

+1. I "can" talk like a sailor with the best of them (if I'm in that kind of environment), so I'm not personally going to be offended, but I think it's very much a regional thing. I remember a coworker from NYC (and this was a "corporate" gig), and for him, the f-word wasn't just a word, but a syllable too that fit in every other word. Nice guy, but he toned it down after living in the south for a bit. I remember quite a few years ago, I was out for dinner with my dad, and one of his friends the visited on business once a year (from Boston). Now this guy is a VERY successful businessman, but tosses GD around like a "f-en" New Yorker

and everyone within earshot was cringing. My dad is an EXTREMELY religious man (his friend knows this, they go back 20+ years), but was simply oblivious to what he was doing as it was just a "part" of his normal vocabulary. Knowing my dad would NEVER say anything (just not his style to be rude), I was on the verge of speaking up to his friend and asking him not to talk like that in front of my dad, but I realized his friend would have been TOTALLY embarrassed (maybe not a bad thing), and I held my tongue out of respect for my dad. I've never let a curse word slip out in front of my parents...out of RESPECT.

scottbombedout · 07-18-2008, 04:59 AM

Brilliant brilliant video, can go to work with a f*cking smile on my face now !

Super_Dave_D · Super_Dave_D's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny_Ocean

When I lived in California, I rarely heard the "N" word. Now, here in FLA, I hear it almost daily (I'm referring to whites using it as a derogatory term, not blacks using it amongst each other).

Still shocks me to this day... but that's FLA for you...

Danny - Sorry but maybe it’s all who you hang around BUT I don’t hear the "N" word as you describe. How is it a Florida thing?

Jim - Theres nothing wrong with calling your friend out or just telling him to relax the bombs a bit. I can hang with the best of them but holding your tongue in while in the presence of kids and strangers is a respect thing. I guess having a kid changed me a bit.

MBAtarga · 07-18-2008, 05:06 AM

I don't use them. Okay, maybe rarely - but not in public.

I've worked in both blue collar jobs (college days) and white collar jobs. My observation is the use of 4 letter words is indirectly proportional to the educational level of the parties.

Mule · 07-18-2008, 05:06 AM

I'm pretty bad but not when inappropriate.

notfarnow · 07-18-2008, 05:41 AM

When I was growing up, one of the highlights of any project was watching dad curse and swear when things when wrong. He never built up pressure and blew up, it was just a steady stream of artful coumpound curses.

J***S F***G S**T F***ER ARSE G***AMN THING!!!

We'd just crack up, which drove him nuts. Anyway, it generally wasn't in anger so it wasn't intimidating or scary. If we ever swore, we were harshly reprimanded... "do as I say, not as I do".

Now I am a swearer too, pretty much in the same style. It's funny when dad and I work on something together... the two of us cursing and swearing but actually in a fine mood. Quality father & son time, working away and cursing a blue streak... a Hallmark Moment

It took some adjusting for my wife, because in her home swearing was always in anger, whereas I just use it as a low-level pressure release. She's cool with it now, and is a pretty adept swearer too.

I turn it off in public, around kids, and around my neighbor who is pretty clean living. I was pretty embarassed last summer when he walked into my driveway just as I backed my trailer right into the garage door... J***S F***ING C**T CH**T!!! He was completely stunned, but laughed about it when I told him why my glasses were in the dishwasher.

krichard · krichard's Garage

I don't think there is anything wrong with "cursing". If parents didn't want their kids to hear it then they shouldn't have had kids. Go to any public school and listen to how the kids talk, like little bitty sailors ready to set sail. Anything that comes out of my mouth has been heard many many times before. Also, what's are you protecting the "children" from exactly? Sooner or later they will be adults and then will be "allowed" to drop the f'bomb. Makes no sense at all to me to censor that schit.