"To be honest...."
 

I have a buddy that claims this phrase is not acceptable, that it implies everything previously said was not honest. I say it's just a common phrase meaning "without sugar coating it".

What say you? Do you take it literal or what?

I use it quite a bit... but not to prove that I am honest with those I speak to, but to set them up for the truth that may hurt their ego / feelings... I would hope that more people would be frank with me when I ask questions versus some of the answers that I receive.. sometimes I can be super brilliant, and at other times I am as dumb as a box of rocks...

There are a lot of phrases in the English language that don't make sense if you pick them apart. "All but done" WTF does that really mean. The list is endless.

I think 'to be honest' implies that you were not lying before but now you are going to say everything in an unrestrained manner. Not going to hold anything back. Or you are not saying the company line but stating your own thoughts.

yeah. "to be honest" is a setup for what's coming, an emphasis that you're being honest even if it's going to hurt their feelings.

It's a verbal crutch of some sort.

I used to have a friend that would start the most person, invasive questions with "If you don't mind my asking..." Followed by "how much do you make?" "what ever happened to your girlfriend?" etc

This is how I use it. I am not implying that anything I said before was anything less than the truth, just that this current statement might be painful.

I had a co-worker who would always say "I'll see if we can't get that done for you" to requests from clients. Drove me nuts.

"to be honest with you" is a major no-no at my company. If you are on a sales call with any managers and say it your are on the shtt list and will get called out by the VP. I used to use it but now never do after working it out of my vocabulary. Now when I hear it I cringe as well.

Its kind of like "new and improved"

I agree with your interpetation.

My ex-wife was the queen of mixed metaphors.

Her best was....

The one that gets me is "irregardless". It's not a word. "Regardless" is a word. "Irregardless" is a made-up meaningless bunch of foo.

It's also a double-negative and a good reason to slap the utterer silly with a wet kipper.

"This word... I do no think it means wha you think it means."

Fcuk you! Get fcuked!...........WTF?

"To be honest, I voted "O"."

I generally take it to be a shortened version of "to be BRUTALLY honest", in other words, "prepare yourself to hear some stuff that you're not going to like".

"The fact of the matter is..." makes me want to punch the person saying it.

Yes, you have to interject an adverb there, so it doesn't mean you weren't honest prior, but instead you're not sugar coating the honesty now.

Funny/ironic. There are a couple people I know who, when they start with the phrase "To be honest..." means it's time to get the waders out, because that's when their BS starts.

I guess it depends on the context.

I'd agree, if you are using it as a preface for something that is going to hurt someone's feelings, or similar, it's ok.

But that's not how most people use it. Most use it to preface the lie they are about to tell you.

This is how I use it also... but then my dad taught me "if you always tell the truth you don't have to keep track of what you said."

salesman 101: Don't use the phrase, period.

My favorite verbal clutch is "per se". I have a co-worker uses the phrase in just about every sentence and in the wrong context, per se.http://forums.pelicanparts.com/suppo...s/a_frusty.gif

"Well, to be honest, our Extended Warranty program is a ripoff."

I basically ignore it... I think it's a throwaway and I don't think many people pay attention to what they say or how it may be perceived anyway.

Another version of it that is a little less goofy-sounding would be when someone says something like, "Honestly, Bob, I can't think of anyone I'd rather work with on this project."

I guess it is also similar to the use of "seriously" in the same situation.

Or "personally," as in "Personally, Bob, I can't think of anyone I'd rather work with on this project."

In agreement with whoever mentioned it on page 1, I also find "the fact of the matter is" to be a totally useless waste of breath and time.

I also find the use of the word "actually" in every other sentence to be very annoying.

"Hey Matt, are you guys coming out to Andy's gig tonight?"

"Actually, we were planning to, but we just remembered that we had already committed to go to this dinner with Bonnie's sister."

"Cool... y'all have fun. You know the band is gonna be releasing their new CD tonight... do you want me to pick one up for you?"

"Actually, yes... that would be great... I may call you tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

"Actually, we're planning to hit some garage sales near you... would it be okay if we drop by around 11 to get it?"

And on and on and on and on... :)

+1

Fixed it for you. :D:p;)

I agree with the crutch theory or that it's a conversational pause to say now you're going to say something meaningful.

But having so much control over each person's speech is weird to me. Everywhere I go I hear, "No problem." I'm told that in customer service, this is the same as a double negative as in two negative terms bound together.

Yes, I'm tired of hearing it, but someone saying that to me on the phone has never affected my willingness to do business with this person or company as long as there are no problems.

At least "honest" is a positive word. "Can't" certainly is not.