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Body Orifice Security Scanner - The SNUKE detector

From the "You can't make this stuff up" file...

This is an RFQ from the Department of State - Yep, it's a "SNUKE" detector!

Quote:

This is a combined synopsis/solicitation for a commercial item prepared in accordance with the format in FAR Subparts 12.6 and 13.5, as supplemented with additional information included in this notice. This announcement constitutes the only solicitation; quotations are being requested by this notice alone, and a written solicitation will not be issued. This synopsis/solicitation is issued as a Request for Quotations for Body Orifice Security Scanners to be used by the Government of El Salvador pursuant to an agreement with the U.S. Department of State.

1. DESCRIPTION

1.1. The U.S. Department of State, INL Section, U.S. Embassy San Salvador, El Salvador, has a requirement for the purchase of a twelve (12) Ranger B.O.S.S. II or “equal” body orifice security scanners, to be donated to the government of El Salvador for INL program purposes. The RFQ is being conducted under “brand name or equal” specifications. FAR Provision 52.211-16 - Brand Name or Equal is hereby incorporated by reference.

1.2. The following are the specifications which all items shall meet or surpass in order to be considered an “equal” item.

Body orifice security scanner shall be configured as a chair, for use in prisons, in keeping with standard practice in U.S. correctional facilities. Body orifice security scanner system unit shall have the following features: abdominal-cavity sensor, rectal-vaginal cavity sensor, and shin area sensor. Equipment shall enable correctional facility staff to conduct non-contact searches of inmates for contraband hidden on/in their persons, to include weapons, razor blades, tools, handcuff keys, cell phones, cell phone chips, cell phone chargers, and other contraband. Unit shall also have volume settings, alarm tone settings, pass code capability, LED display, and target filter with low-frequency filter values. 115-340 VAC/47 to 63 Hz power requirements. Ruggedized design for durability in harsh conditions, and with frequent use. Requested system shall use very low intensity magnetic field to detect contraband. There is no requirement for visual x-ray or imaging capability.

I hope they clean the anal/vaginal detector before switching it's use.

A Razor blade in the sniz? :eek:

i quickly read the post....if i am correct, i know the man that invented the thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vash (Post 4700167)

i quickly read the post....if i am correct, i know the man that invented the thing.

I'd love to hear the story that inspired this invention!

Well, would YOU want the job of physically doing what the chair does? We've already discussed the funkiness of the front. The back door is going to be worse!

my friend (my junior high school principle, he introduced me to big game hunting) was a partner with a company. they made all their money with the airport units. he came up with the chair configuration, protected it with a patent, and quit to start a new company on his own.

his new version is genius...he needs to make sure he doenst violate his own ironclad patent.

"Hello, you've reached Jasper Smith. I can't answer my phone right now because it's up my azz, but feel free to leave me a message and I'll get back to you when I have some privacy."

Ringtone: "Welcome to the Jungle"

well Red..
had you stayed at few more hrs at the ER..
one of these clowns would have showed..
this quite 'normal' in most ER's..
in the notes you find..

it got away from me /him/her,
he/she pushed it to far...+
my friend can almost reach it..

Rika

I think it's be great to have one of these right here on PPOT. That way we could document how far a "beloved member" has his head up his ass.

Are you volunteering?

Quote:

Originally Posted by red-beard (Post 4700573)

Are you volunteering?

As if you'd need a fuquin machine to tell? But I do appreciate that you think of me as "beloved".