My new found aloofness re: the steptwins may be challenged...

[Dueller]

I know this is inane and insignificant, but you guys have helped a lot when it comes to my role as a relatively new stepdad to teen (well, now 19) stepdtrs. But I'll share a recent development.

Both went off to college, college chosen in no smal part by where their bf's were going. As expected, cracks in these high school romances developed...hey, that's a part of life. One of them has been unhappy with her beau for a few months...it came to a head when he told her they were officially breaking up and for her to get her stuff out of his apartment. Now bf is devastated and vascillates between wanting her back and despising her.

Last night he was so distraught his mother (mind you this kid is 20-21) drove 2 1/2 hours to campus to pick her devastated son up and bring him home. Weird enough...but then mom texts my stepdtr and informs her that she is to leave every gift she received from them (specifically a watch and some high dollar boots/purse) for her b'day/xmas. And then proceeds to get on Facebook and slams stepdtr all over the internet.

Sheesh. What a buncha drama queens...

[Hugh R]

His Mommy wants their gifts to her back? How lame is that. Your step daughter, should explain to his Mommy what a gift is, and that it is he is the nutbag.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Hugh R

His Mommy wants their gifts to her back? How lame is that. Your step daughter, should explain to his Mommy what a gift is, and that it is he is the nutbag.

Actually my advice to her was to leave the gifts and a simple note: "Keep the bumper/brush guard." (In reference to a $1200 bumper/brush guard I snagged on Craigslist for $250 she gave him for xmas.)

[HHI944]

Your idea sounds pretty sound to me, dueller.




Soooo, one of the twins is single eh???

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by HHI944

Your idea sounds pretty sound to me, dueller.




Soooo, one of the twins is single eh???

I giving odds both will be humming "Freebird" by May1

[porsche4life]

So when can I come see them?


I see plenty of this here... More than a few nutzoid guys... get seriously possesive..... Girls that have been in relationships like that are fun.... they don't mind if you don't call very often.... They like space...

[9dreizig]

Hey Jim, why not set her up with Sidney ? He'd worship her and could work on your car in his spare time??
PS, you might want to point out that's what she gets for dating a momma's boy

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by 9dreizig

Hey Jim, why not set her up with Sidney ? He'd worship her and could work on your car in his spare time??
PS, you might want to point out that's what she gets for dating a momma's boy

I'd prefer Sid over anyone i've met they drug by the house of late. Don't know whether I'd wish them on Sid...I see their dark side

[McLovin]

Frankly, I'd be pretty distraught over the loss of strange of that quality too.

But, anyways, doesn't seem like there's anything here for you to do or get involved in.

The whole issue of parents even knowing what's going on in the dating lives of 20 somethings (or close to 20 somethings) is foreign to me. That must be a relatively new thing, fairly unique to this generation.

[Laneco]

All women have a dark side, Dueller. It is our nature!

The facebook thing from the mom? Oh good Lord - grow UP! Can you imagine being a college age dude and trying to hold your head up in public after your mommy rescued you because you're depressed after you threw your girlfriend out and mommy went on facebook to proclaim the girlfriend's evilness?

Seriously, if I were a guy and my mom did this, I'd cut my own nuts off with a spork.

angela

[legion]

A lot of kids in that generation see no shame in having their parents solve all of their problems for them. Heck, I've seen some threads here on Pelican by parents doing just that.

I had to cut my parents off in college. It was their opinion that if they were paying for my schooling, they could dictate how I ran my life. I got student loans.

[911boost]

"cut my own nuts off with a spork"

That is pure awesomeness there.

What a tool, your daughter is much better off without this douche nozzle.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Don't know whether I'd wish them on Sid...I see their dark side

I'm sure Sid is game enough to discover that for himself.

Christ. Is someone's gonna be petty enough to ask for GIFTS to be returned, I'd just as soon return them to the tool.

[gprsh924]

From other things you have posted and what you have posted today those dudes seem to be just about the biggest toolboxes that I can possibly comprehend.

[johnnywishbone]

Some fifty year olds share a common fault with the twenty year olds. They have no idea how young they are, and talk themselves into unhappiness. Jmho

[DonDavis]

Uh, if we're complaining about the guy's Mom getting involved, how can we tell Duel to go there?

I say tell the girls they need to police their own relationships. Maybe offer up some low key advice, but I would seriously downplay the whole thing and softly chuckle (so the girls can see you do it) at the guy falling apart and Mommy driving him home.

We ALL know there are better men out there for the girls. It's getting THEM to realize it and take charge of their own affairs. Duel, YOUR girl needs to take the high road on this. In 2 years, it won't mean a damned thing what "Johnny" (whaever the tool's name is) says over the next month. Won't they be home for summer then? It's amazing what a summer away will do for them all.

Now if the guy escalates the issue and begins to harass her, I'd prob get the school involved and document the hell out of every step. Then again, Duel's a atty. (now I have that video Gogar made in my head)


Btw, post a new pic of the girls.

[speeder]

They're a little old for sniper, (+ tattoo deficiency), but maybe he'd be willing to step in and date them. I'm sure that you've always wanted a guy like that in the family.

[nostatic]

There is no win here, so I'd say you have two viable options.

1) do nothing

2) do less than nothing

If you do anything, you become the "spork parent." Don't be the spork. If the step-daughter wants to return the gifts, then she can do so. If she doesn't, that is fine. If she wants to donate them to charity (my personal choice, and send the tax break receipt to the parents), that is fine. If she wants to burn them, that's fine. It is her battle, not yours. You can only be the ear to bend when she vents.

My other advice is for her to ignore any/all FB comments. That is another no-win situation. Any response just empowers the other person/loser. It'll go away...

[porsche4life]

Oh I'm sure they'd throw me for a loop... Doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it... We've already proved I'm a masochist.... I mean I owned a Corrado....

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by nostatic

There is no win here, so I'd say you have two viable options.

1) do nothing

2) do less than nothing

3) do much less than nothing. Then fix yourself a nice drink.