A Room Monkey Update
 

When we met at NAMM last week, Todd (His Modness Nostatic with his lovely girlfriend Shirley) asked for a Room Monkey Update. I explained that due to a legal situation, I had been reluctant to go public but coincidentally . . . it had just been resolved while I was in Vegas & LA.

So the short version . . .

The Cast:

Room Monkey #1 = my stepson - the son of my wife.
Room Monkey #2 = Xiyuan Ren (aka Shennie) is a connected ex-Beijing Chinese national.
Us = bewildered but supportive parents. The RMs lived with us for 17 long. long months but had been perched in a 49th floor downtown condo rental for 15 months at the time of the incident.

• Room Monkey #1 suspects & finds evidence of Room Monkey #2’s infidelity. Good Friday.
• Confrontation in bathroom.
• RM # 1 leaves. With her cell phone containing text evidence of infidelity.
• RM #2 goes to police.
• RM #1 surrenders to the very insistent police. They are less than nice. He spends the night in a holding cell.

At a special court session (Saturday of the Easter weekend) he is charged with:

• Uttering threats.
• Assault.
• Theft under $5000.00 (the infamous cell phone).

Our hastily hired yellow pages lawyer arranges release on bail. We are the guarantors & the bond stipulates that he must live with us, with no contact with RM #2.

• Hotshot expensive lawyer is hired after much discussion. We pay & RM #1 starts a reimbursement program with us. Big $s but we decide a double-barrel legal defense strategy is warranted.
• RM #1 reluctantly tells the licensing body of his profession the sordid news of the charges (a requirement).
• After 6 months & numerous step-dancing court dates, it is evident that the Crown (the DA) has nothing.
• At the suggestion of our legal eagle, RM #1 takes an anger management course. This makes him angry but he successfully completes it.
• January 12 – all charges dismissed by the Crown.
• January 16 – RM #1 is served with divorce papers for a clean & simple divorce.
• The End.

Moral of the Tale:

• As a male, you are assumed guilty if you are accused of spousal abuse.
• Beware of immigration-status-seeking hotties from afar.

Ian

"As a male, you are assumed guilty if you are accused of spousal abuse. "


Sad but true.

Good luck to Room Monkey #1 and to you and your wife.

I had meant to ask you about this when I saw you last weekend, but forgot until later. Glad it's all worked out. No lawsuit or charged for the RM2's false accusation or police report? You guys shouldn't have to pay for her behavior.

And as well you can never own a weapon again. Have a good friend who never touched the beyotch but she filed papers against him and its done.

Sad to see...

The assault charge stemmed from the bathroom confrontation. He ripped the shower curtain aside & a plastic shampoo bottle fell on her foot. The uttering charges were equally as comical. From the questioning at the popo station, it appeared that they were direct quotes from sleazy English-Chinese horror films that she liked to watch. The cops pushed him around & head-slapped him - off-camera of course. She was such a helpless tiny frightened girl after all . . . I really hate to say it, but 14 Division in Toronto is known for its thugs.

As for the cell phone, if you are going to cheat, make sure you delete your text messages AND the SENT text messages.

And I would like to thank Pelican Christen whose father gave us the referral to the double-barrel lawyer. Probably overkill but RM #1's career was in balance. It is not practical to sue for false accusations in our legal system unless you have a burning desire to buy a lawyer a new Benz.

Ian

Glad it all worked out in the end. Maybe you should look into getting him fixed. That would solve a lot of your problems and his! ;)

Tell him to find a homely, non-Asian Canadian girl that's eager and a good cook and count himself lucky.

:D

(+1, but taking the anger management course was a show of "settlement" in this heavily biased situation.)

The cell phone could have been argued "communal property" shared between a man and wife(just like all his vehicles, money and/or property after a divorce).

There should have been anti-infidelity laws dug up from the archives as well.

Nobody witnessed her behaviour at that time either. Perhaps his friends have some experience with this.
Britain has new "anti-verbal" and "ant-psychological" abuse laws for spouses....which should be applied equally to the sexes. Women can engage in this type of abuse as easily as men.

There was recently another similar case here in the US, where another hubsband got the book thrown at him for taking her cell phone. Wife was cheating with her abusive ex-husband uring which the child was abandoned by her.
Apparently the PA's office was bored and overfunded.

Male=automatic loss.

If I remember correctly, that one was posted on this board. The reason the guy was prosecuted was because he had found where she kept her email passwords written down and logged into her email to see if he could find evidence of her cheating. They basically said that he had "hacked" into her email and were prosecuting him for that.

Thx for the correction/expansion. That would be a different situation.

The cell phone was in her name so it was considered her personal property by the police. Despite the fact that it was a joint plan with two phones & he paid the bill. :rolleyes: We all agreed that the anger management was a de facto quasi admission but the lawyer told him that the court would mandate it anyway - they basically always do. RM #1 could speed up the inevitable by doing it before the dismissal hearing. Even with the dismissal he is under a signed Peace Bond for the next 12 months.

Canadian Law is filled to the brim with equality, but in he said/she said verbal or physical abuse cases, the man is guilty until overwhelmingly proven innocent. In one sense, it is hard to blame the legal system due to the historical inadequacies of the law vis a vis women's rights, but the pendulum swung a bit too far in this case. And the case is far from unique. One of his co-workers was a few months ahead of him with similar circumstances & an identical outcome.

Ian

It is not hard to blame the legal system. The legal system is not supposed to be vengeful which defined as seeking to harm someone for past injuries. First of all, men today had nothing to do with the so-called "historical inequities of the law". Second, those "historical inequties of the law" were created by the misapplication of the law itself by the lawyers. The current lawyers, judges, etc., who are perpetrating the current inequities of the law are the same bunch of cowards who perpetrated the "historical inequities of the law". So no, it is not hard to blame the legal system. In every sense, it is the fault of the broken (but quite lucrative) legal system and it should be blamed.

Glad to have helped, even if it turned out to be expensive help. And I'm glad to hear things are finally finished. What a crappy way to learn a hard lesson.

If the lie detector was an acceptable method of determining if either party involved was trying to gain a better position by not telling the truth, this would be the ideal situation to use it.
It is too bad that it can't be utilized for reasons such as this....

TL;DL: don't put your ***** in crazy.

Those who the Gods wish to destroy first drive mad..

I love this line...

That reminds me I have to go for jury duty on Feb. 10.

That remains to be seen. Six weeks after the 'incident', he started up with another girl . . . yeah, from China . . . once an addict, always an addict . . .

This one is a Canadian citizen. And she has a good job. (Already she is twice as good as RM #2). :D She bought a C class Benz & he drove it all summer & fall. She just transferred to Vancouver – with his solid encouragement. I swear he just wants a place to crash in Vancouver - his dream city. She works in the same bank as he does. She is staying with us . . . OH NO! . . . for a couple of nights next weekend when she comes back for a 2 week training course. She was born in Harbin & from her looks, she has some Tartar blood in her . . .

Yes, we have had the talks with him. He is in spin mode. I know the post-separation spin mode well. I have been quite obvious with my desire for him to get the hell out. Needless to say, my wife & I disagree on this issue. :rolleyes:

Ian

Brian: Jury duty is in the courthouse on University. Pre-trial hearings are in the old City Hall. Take a thick book.

I can relate to this!

serial killers and pretty women seem to have no problem beating lie detector test. wonder if there's some connection.

Asocial personality types can beat lie detectors quite easily. You really don't have to 'beat" a lie detector test anyway. You just have to confound the results so they become unreliable. For which they are already notorious. In addition, any good lawyer can invalidate and render the findings inadmissable or otherwise tear them to shreds.

1. RM#1 is still paying you back for the legal bills and will be doing so for quite some time.

2. Just thought about this; has the dismissal opened the door for a suit against RM#2 so she'll have to pay for it?

Agreed - in a conventional court setting polygraphs are seldom considered reliable and damning pieces of evidence. However in a different setting with different standards of proof and rules of evidence, they can be a lot more onerous. For example, there are certain employers that can require them as a condition of employment or continued employment - if you "fail" one, you can be terminated without appeal, kind of like it is with drug tests. To fight these kinds of policies would take many years and many tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, so nobody will do it. And they know it. Sadly these sorts of things are becoming increasingly more common...

Several factors come into play:

I am not an attorney, but I do know that our legal system is significantly different from yours in tort law & contingency fee awards (not a bad thing imho). While RM #1 does feel wronged, he places the majority of the blame on the police. She was just a stupid **** who got caught with her pants down. They took crumbs & manufactured a bogus criminal case out of it. The chances of successfully winning a wrongful arrest suit against the police or a defamation suit against her would be minimal at best & would take years . And at any point, she could jump on a plane to Beijing & disappear . . .

The failed marriage & this incident have set him back 5 years. We suspect that their marriage was not a picture of bliss anyway. Money is money but our advice to him is to move on.

Ian

Move on. Living well will be the best revenge.

The most important thing is to not repeat the mistake.

Not practical in Canada. Very little to gain, and high risk given the person you want to extract funds from.

Move on, it's over. This has already ended far better than he could have hoped for.