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-   -   my Thanksgiving week so far.... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?t=641594)

vash 11-24-2011 08:31 AM

my Thanksgiving week so far....
 
my parents are here with me. my stepdad has type 4 lung cancer. (my father also passed from cancer) he is done with the first rounds of chemo..the brutal rounds. now he is on a "maintenance" dose designed to target the tumor(s) food supply...or something. right before he left home, they got news the tumor grew 1mm..he has radiation treatment waiting for him when he gets back. his spirits are still way up. i think my parents have accepted "whatever". he is eating EVERYTHING. dim sum, seafood..primerib. today, instead of cooking, we ordered up a chinese banquet. doctor's orders..NO COOKING. his hands are numb, and he could easily burn or cut himself. he is a control freak so no way he stays on the sidelines while i do all the heavy lifting in the kitchen. it wouldnt happen so we are eating out. i have a week with him..and i hope to put about 5-10lbs of holiday fat on him.

tomorrow we go to bass pro shops. seems like a great excuse for the wife to let me into that store.

my sister and brother didnt join us..my sister and i simply cant get along. i tried to take the high-road..but my sister wanted to rent a house in san francisco because she felt the "Burbs" where i live was too anemic. my house is tiny, and i wanted my siblings to get into a local hotel. my wife was in school until today, and my sister just didnt listen to the fact that having her commute from a rental house to school daily would be insane. i didnt fight with her, but she got pissed when i told her we wouldnt be participating in the rental home..oh well.

my focus is spending the best quality time with my dad..not clubbing in san fran hitting hooka bars, and wine clubs (dad hits the sack at 9:30 from exhaustion)..i feel bad my sister didnt get it and will miss out on family time. i want to be here when he goes to bed, and be here awake when he gets up. really max out my time.

all in all, i am having a happy thankgiving. my mom did mention moving in with me when it all goes bad. yikes.

pwd72s 11-24-2011 09:00 AM

Vash...Happy thanksgiving to you & yours. :)

stomachmonkey 11-24-2011 09:40 AM

It's a day to give thanks for the things you DO have.

Best to your family.

dtw 11-24-2011 10:13 AM

God bless ya Cliffy. You're a good egg.

craigster59 11-24-2011 10:32 AM

Happy Thanksgiving Cliff. Unfortunately the holidays sometimes bring out the "dysfunctionality" in some families. All you can do is take the high road and appreciate everything you have, some just don't see it and don't understand that there are no "second chances" to enjoy family time in holidays that have passed.
Eat up and share some pics, I know they can't keep you out of the kitchen either!

crustychief 11-24-2011 11:40 AM

Happy Thanksgiving Cliff, I am glad you see the point and I am sure your stepfather appreciates it as well.

doug_porsche 11-24-2011 11:48 AM

reminds me about a line I read in a Richard Bach book:

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.

Jim Richards 11-24-2011 11:59 AM

You're alright, Cliff. Happy Thanksgiving!

porsche4life 11-24-2011 12:13 PM

Yup, don't worry about the family that is too big a loser to show up. Just enjoy the time with the ones that did.

Seahawk 11-24-2011 02:02 PM

You are a good man, Vash.

The best thing about doing the right thing is doing it.

Your Step Dad is a fortunate man.

Baz 11-24-2011 04:27 PM

Quote:

my focus is spending the best quality time with my dad..not clubbing in san fran hitting hooka bars, and wine clubs (dad hits the sack at 9:30 from exhaustion)..i feel bad my sister didnt get it and will miss out on family time. i want to be here when he goes to bed, and be here awake when he gets up. really max out my time.
Very nice Cliff, I'm proud of you.

My mom and step-father a few years ago were involved in a car accident which left my mom with a broken neck and step-dad with a subdural hematoma...which was delayed. Fortunately I live in the same town and immediately took over all management of the household until mom could get back on her feet. I remeber taking my step-dad to a tree farm where I did business to check out some trees and how much he appreciated the one-on-one we had. I didn't know at the time he would pass away only a few weeks later after recovering from brain surgery and getting a urinary infection at the nursing home he was recuperating in, which is a whole other story for a different day.

Not the first time here someone has told the story of a parent passing away and the lesson remains the same....spend quality time with them before it is too late and they are gone.

Give your step-dad a hug from Baz and the girls....and Happy Thanksgiving. :)

nostatic 11-24-2011 05:34 PM

There are just times in your life when life gets in the way of life. I got a call at 11pm last night that my dad was back in the ER from dehydration. So this morning the fiancee and I slogged through traffic down to San Diego to spend a few hours with him at the hospital. He was sleeping when we got there, finally woke up and had some lunch (complained that it was cold - he's not dead yet), then fiddled with the electric bed controls for 15 minutes trying to find a comfortable angle. We were joking that he just wanted to drive the bed for awhile. After some pain meds he drifted back off to sleep and we headed out. Stopped at my old taco shack (where I had my first mex food 40+ years ago) as the hospital is a few blocks from the house I grew up in. Then a quick drive through the old hood to show some haunts, then back to LA. No cooking, no turkey, now on the couch, her working, me...not. We might go to Norms (where we went last year for t-day) for some pie. Thankfully she is a trooper and doesn't mind an atypical life...

Hope you family finds the best dim sum over the next few days. I know a great place down here but it is a bit of a drive for you :D

azasadny 11-24-2011 06:30 PM

Cliff,
You're a good man. Have a great Thanksgiving!


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