2013 Darwin Awards

[jcommin]

All, Thought I would post the winners of the Darwin awards. I really like the 3rd place winner. After reading this, I starting to think that CCW laws are a good thing.

enjoy!



2013 DARWIN AWARDSYou've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the 2013 Darwin Awards:

Eighth Place

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.



Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS....

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... '**** happens'

[BlueSkyJaunte]

snopes.com: 2006 Darwin Awards

[mossguy]

Originally Posted by BlueSkyJaunte

snopes.com: 2006 Darwin Awards

Killjoy!

[A930Rocket]

Illinois man reportedly crushed to death by trash compactor while searching for cellphone | Fox News

A suburban Chicago man was reportedly crushed to death by a trash compactor while he searched for his missing cellphone, authorities said.
The Chicago Tribune reports that Roger Mirro, of Palatine, died of multiple crushing injuries from being trapped inside a trash compactor on Tuesday. The death was ruled an accident, according to the Cook County medical examiner’s office.
Cook County Deputy Chief Alan Stoeckel called the death a “terrible accident” in a statement.
Mirro’s 56-year-old wife, whose name was not released, said she last spoke with him on the phone as she left for work, informing him she was going out with friends, police said.
When she returned more than 4 hours later, Mirro’s wife couldn’t find him and a neighbor told police Mirro came to his apartment asking for a key to the trash room in the parking garage. When officers later entered the garbage room, they discovered a ladder propped up against the trash compactor. Mirro’s body was inside, with obvious signs of trauma caused by the compactor, police said.


Read more: Illinois man reportedly crushed to death by trash compactor while searching for cellphone | Fox News

[jcommin]

Originally Posted by mossguy

Killjoy!

Gotta love the net - mis information all of the time. Thanks for the heads up! Will check the source next time. I still like no 3.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

I only checked because the elephant poop one seemed really improbable. Turns out it was...