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Registered
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,522
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Arizona, great gun rights state, not so much for masturbation
Mom Calls 911 On Masturbating Teenage Son; Boy Arrested, Charged With New
Phoenix, AZ — A Phoenix boy is behind bars tonight after his mother called 9-1-1 when she found her son in his room, watching pornography and masturbating. Phoenix Police were quick to respond, arresting 15-year-old Paul Horner, who attends North Valley High School in Phoenix, Arizona. Now the teenager is being held without bail and charged by prosecutors under a new controversial Arizona state law called ‘Self-Rape’, which carries a minimum of 3 years in prison with a maximum of 15 years behind bars depending on that individuals past criminal history. This is the first time this new state law has been used since it was put into action last month by Arizona Governor Jan Brewer. Brewer spoke with local news station ABC 15 about the charges against the boy. “I applaud the Arizona District court systems here in Phoenix,” Brewer said. “This is exactly why I implemented the state law of ‘Self-Rape’ last month and this is exactly what it is meant to be used for. Before my time as governor is up early next year, I’ll do whatever I can to ensure that tragedies like this don’t happen again. We need to educate our children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation before it’s too late.” Can you even imagine the idiocy.
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O2 In Sully We Believe |
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11-28-2014, 02:12 PM
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"O"man(are we in trouble)
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: On the edge
Posts: 16,452
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Don't think I've ever heard of anything so idiotic.
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11-28-2014, 02:19 PM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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What a bunch of jerks
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone  1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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11-28-2014, 02:20 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,522
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you know what guys, I think it is satire, (at least I hope so). Someone had posted it on Facebook.
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O2 In Sully We Believe |
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11-28-2014, 02:22 PM
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"O"man(are we in trouble)
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: On the edge
Posts: 16,452
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You are right. Happy T'giving.
They could have put me away for life!!!! 
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11-28-2014, 02:25 PM
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non-whiner
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Slightly right of center
Posts: 5,235
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That is a joke and I can't believe anyone would think that even Jan Brewer would pass a law like that one!
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"Too much is just enough." |
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11-28-2014, 02:35 PM
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Did you get the memo?
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 32,258
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Were it true, he'd be Horny Horner for life!
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11-28-2014, 02:40 PM
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winter-hater club member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: salt lake city, utah
Posts: 24,705
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self-rape.... buhahaha! i do believe that all parties consented... great satire piece.
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2000 Corvette - ????, 2007 Buell XB9R - Astrid, 1996 Discovery - Piglet, 2000 Forester "COOL PRIUS!" - Nobody Ever |
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11-28-2014, 02:45 PM
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Too big to fail
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I don't think the evidence would stand up in court
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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11-28-2014, 02:45 PM
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winter-hater club member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: salt lake city, utah
Posts: 24,705
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he is fifteen.... that evidence is standing up all the time.
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2000 Corvette - ????, 2007 Buell XB9R - Astrid, 1996 Discovery - Piglet, 2000 Forester "COOL PRIUS!" - Nobody Ever |
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11-28-2014, 02:54 PM
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Registered
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Fun story but of course totally fake:
snopes.com: Boy Arrested, Charged with New 'Self-Rape' State Law
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2009 Cayman PDK With a few tweaks |
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11-28-2014, 02:57 PM
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non-whiner
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Slightly right of center
Posts: 5,235
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A self sexual predator.
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"Too much is just enough." |
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11-28-2014, 03:01 PM
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non-whiner
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Slightly right of center
Posts: 5,235
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Gives new meaning to "roughing up the suspect".
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"Too much is just enough." |
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11-28-2014, 03:08 PM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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Do you think the kid will beat the rap?
Can you take out a restraining order on yourself? Brings a new meaning to "the long arm of the law"
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone 1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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11-28-2014, 03:19 PM
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Registered
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From the article
"A mascot for the Christian organization, Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, told reporters he is pleased with the justice served today and is confident this will set a precedent for all the would be masturbators out there." HAHAHAHHHAHAAAAAA!
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A nose heavy airplane flies poorly, a tail heavy plane flies once. |
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11-28-2014, 03:21 PM
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non-whiner
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Slightly right of center
Posts: 5,235
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Good choice for a mascot.
Chelsea Handler says Dolphins are serial rapists and have no problem holding human females under water until they drown having their way with them. See ten reasons why Dolphins are buttholes: 10 Reasons Why Dolphins Are *********s | Deep Sea News
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"Too much is just enough." |
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11-28-2014, 03:30 PM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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Are they not being a bit hardon the kid?
Seems like a stiff penalty...
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone 1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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11-28-2014, 03:40 PM
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You do not have permissi
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: midwest
Posts: 39,820
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Blue Balls is a known medical condition.
Resources and/or tax-deductible expenses should apply. |
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11-28-2014, 03:57 PM
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Slackerous Maximus
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 18,162
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By the time I was 18, I'd have gotten life without parole.
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11-28-2014, 04:01 PM
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Cars & Coffee Killer
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: State of Failure
Posts: 32,246
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Quote:
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Some Porsches long ago...then a wankle... 5 liters of VVT fury now -Chris "There is freedom in risk, just as there is oppression in security." |
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11-28-2014, 04:12 PM
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Lil Red
Cayman
1979 Porsche 911SC
