Let 's ( all us adpotees) realize that we are are EXTREMELY lucky to have birth mothers that realized we need to live, we need to thrive, and they couldn't provide what we needed. For my life. I will always be thankfull regardless if she/they ever want to be apart of my life.... Don't forget I'm awesome :D

Well said Bob.

NotaBRG, I believe it was one of your posts I dug up when searching for other posts about adoption.

I don't think adoption should be hidden from either side. I think there should also be more avenues to try and find each other these days. I understand the possible complications, believe me I do. I just think the days of keeping things so locked up is a thing of the past. But that is for another thread.

"My parents picked me! Yours have no choice." - That's a good one! Don't think I used that as a kid. :D

That's a witty kid, nice comeback.:D

best definition of adopted
 

I heard a little joke / story that explains adoption the best way...

In elementary school, the teacher was asking her students what "adopted" means. One of the students says, " I know, I'm adopted. It means I grew in my mommy's heart and not her tummy."

Glad you have great family around you.

Chuck

Adoptive parent here. I wish I had read this book when my daughter was a child.. Passing it on for your possible interest..
Adoption Healing ...a path to recovery: Joe Soll: 9780967839004: Amazon.com: Books

I'm adopted as well. I've known since I was around 4 or 5 (I'm 56). Other than finding medical history I have no interest in looking for my birth mother. I did find out my birth name around 15 years ago. My birth name was Jack Gex. Once I was adopted my name changed.
I also know of someone who was adopted but didn't find out until he was in his 40's. Someone contacted him saying he was his brother.

Good luck with your journey.

Thats cool Dave! Whereabouts in 'back east' are you headed?

Dave, been following your journey on FB,, was wondering what the deal was. very cool. good luck!! Cant' wait to hear how it works out ...

Heading off to Pennsylvania.

Flights and hotel booked and paid for. Leaving Jan. 28, returning Feb. 1.

Fellow "adopty" here always knew never had issue with it, my sister is too, 18 months older from separate family. She did search out and find her biological mother it caused some issue with our Mom at the time, sis told me she wished she had left it all alone biological mother is a little "unstable" and now in her life a headache she doesn't need. I have older sibling from my bio family but never had a desire to find them....my family is the one's I grew up with.

Let me first say I'm not trying to talk anyone into anything. Just offering my experience. I was the guy who wasn't sure I wanted contact with my birth family 25 years ago. I then learned what most women who gave up kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's went through with closed adoptions. Many were forced into it, told lies about who was adopting their kids to make it seem better than reality and told they were never to have any contact and signed statements reflecting that. That's why they don't search out their birth kids. My Bmom was told my adoptive Dad was a college professor, Mom was June Cleaver. Neither of my parents had graduated high school at the time and the Cleaver's they clearly were not.

I love my adoptive parents, no issues there. but it isn't about them and any adoptive parent who tries to make it about them is ignorant at best and a controlling POS at worst.

It's about closing wounds whether they are the adoptees or the birth parents. You don't know what you'll find and it can be a risk. Some won't have contact and others can be people you would choose not to know, but often it can be a very healing experience.

I found a lovely woman who gave me up because my birth father left after they got married, before I was born. I found amazing siblings. I found my birth father's sister who discovered his body when he committed suicide at 21 and helped close a gaping wound for her. I discovered things about myself that never made any sense including why I like cars when my Dad could barely point out a spark plug. I closed a lot of wounds I didn't know I had and gained amazing additions to my family.

Dave, best of luck with whatever you find!

Have a blast on your trip.

It's an adventure. Make the most of it but depart leaving them with a feeling you are wanted back.

One step at a time.

Abandoned by my father at a very young age. Other kids had divorced parents who both stayed in their lives. Not me.

I say **** em. The whole lot of them on his side. I am my own man and don't need anything from those who didn't care enough when I needed them most. I have no desire to give any comfort to people who knew I existed but couldn't be bothered with giving a ****.

The only reason we would like to find my wife's birth mother would be to find out the medical history.

However as I said she was brought over from Seoul Korea so very little chance finding the mother. My wife has a few minor health issues indicating poor or no prenatal care thus indicating her mother could not take care of a child.

I am the youngest of three boys... I was supposed to be a girl... does that count for anything? :D

Tomorrow is the big day! Jumping on a couple of airplanes and touching down in Pennsylvania around 10pm EST.

I started to get nervous as I was packing. Time to take a few deep breaths and take things as they come.

awesome!! hope you have a great time!

Have a great trip!

I made it to Pennsylvania last night and my brother picked me up at the airport. After checking in to my hotel, we went back to his house where I met his wife and we all talked and had a few drinks into the wee hours of the morning.

Today I get to meet one of my aunts and possibly take a tour of the city. I'm not quite in the town where I was born, but close enough (it's not very big). I think Sunday we'll go to my aunts house where I was born and really close that chapter.

So far, so good!

Sounds to be off to a good start Dave! You can imagine the phone calls going on within the family there.
Must be quite interesting to them too, to have you pop in after all this time.

Hope it continues go well for you and that you come away with comfortable new connections.

Thanks for the update, following with interest here.

Cheers Richard