Lost a friend to suicide - Page 2

pavulon · 10-13-2016, 02:12 PM

When the hits keep coming and there's no way out, the end starts to look good. He had taken and was taking an emotional bludgeoning. A lot of guys don't want to talk about it but they have emotions too. RIP Robert.

creaturecat · 10-13-2016, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by craigster59

Sorry to hear Denis. Most suffer in silence even though support is all around if they would just share their thoughts and problems. But most have already made the decision to go through with it at the end, so there is some peace for them before the final act.

My Mother committed suicide when I was 15. Divorced with 3 boys, 2 of us in our rambunctious teens, injured at work and as I look back, most likely addicted to the painkillers prescribed. She did the vacuum cleaner hose to the tailpipe so no blood or trauma, but horrible none the less. She thought we would be better off without her. Very sad.

Anyway, thoughts and prayers to you and Robert's family. Hopefully it will open up a dialogue for all those who knew Robert to seek help if they ever find themselves in a similar situation.

I only say this because my Mother killed herself approximately 1 month after the neighbor across the street committed suicide (same way with the car). 2 months after my Mother her best friend killed herself as her marriage was going south (same way with the car). At the time it seemed as if suicide had become contagious. Hang in there.

oh boy, that one hurts. from afar. thanks for sharing.

ramonesfreak · ramonesfreak's Garage

A guy I knew, very talented musician, put a shotgun in his mouth. Really destroyed his parents and brother, who quickly drank himself to death because of the grief. Both in their 40s. I've know quite a few to do this. Been close to the edge myself many times but decided no pain is worth doing that to your loved ones or yourself. The end will come soon enough for all of us.

I know it sounds awful but it has become my opinion that those who use the gun to the head method, knowing the scene it causes, are either profoundly selfish people or just plain hate everyone else

ramonesfreak · ramonesfreak's Garage

I am sorry you lost your friend. Stay strong.

kach22i · kach22i's Garage

....................talented musician

Tragic ending for far too many.

Sorry for your loss, when you think of him, let it be good thoughts of better times.

ramonesfreak · ramonesfreak's Garage

There was a really great person named Mark, aka Dottore, who reached out to me privately a long time ago because he was concerned about me because of something I said here. I never forgot it and although I never had the privilege of meeting him, I still think about his kindness at times when I'm feeling really bad. His simple words to me, and the gesture, helped.

While any of us would say we are here to help, how many of us would actually go out of our way to offer help to a stranger, or even notice another's struggles

Ferraripete · Ferraripete's Garage

I'm sorry for your loss denis.

speeder · speeder's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonesfreak

A guy I knew, very talented musician, put a shotgun in his mouth. Really destroyed his parents and brother, who quickly drank himself to death because of the grief. Both in their 40s. I've know quite a few to do this. Been close to the edge myself many times but decided no pain is worth doing that to your loved ones or yourself. The end will come soon enough for all of us.

I know it sounds awful but it has become my opinion that those who use the gun to the head method, knowing the scene it causes, are either profoundly selfish people or just plain hate everyone else

Not awful to say at all but in his case, it's only the apartment manager who he screwed. His parents are in Canada, he's in the morgue. I suppose someone will have to deal w his belongings but hopefully he did it in the bathroom and it's cleaned up by then. It is a terrible thing to make people deal with. If I ever did it, I'd go out in the woods or the desert.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonesfreak

There was a really great person named Mark, aka Dottore, who reached out to me privately a long time ago because he was concerned about me because of something I said here. I never forgot it and although I never had the privilege of meeting him, I still think about his kindness at times when I'm feeling really bad. His simple words to me, and the gesture, helped.

While any of us would say we are here to help, how many of us would actually go out of our way to offer help to a stranger, or even notice another's struggles

He was my friend as well. A real prince of a guy and sorely missed.

Chocaholic · 10-13-2016, 06:57 PM

For some, the weight and the darkness overtake life's joy to the point that it becomes inaccessible. I can't imagine the pain of such hopelessness.

Thanks for sharing Denis. Godspeed Robert. We can only guess what's on the other side. I hope it brings you that joy.

creaturecat · 10-13-2016, 08:44 PM

the Dottore mystery lingers.
he was a shining light. that man.

GWN7 · 10-13-2016, 10:05 PM

Sorry for your loss Denis.

Vipergrün · 10-13-2016, 10:18 PM

So sorry to hear Denis. Hard to think of more to say. Tragic...

syncroid · 10-13-2016, 10:40 PM

I also am sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope he is at peace now. I also hope you are dealing with it in a good way. Sharing is a great start.
Dottore.... The questions are still out there for me as well. He asked for my wife's pulled pork recipe. I gave it to him. He liked it! I miss his presence (sp?) here too.

speeder · speeder's Garage

There is no question of what happened to Dottore. He had kidney cancer and he died.

DanielDudley · 10-14-2016, 03:36 AM

The hardest thing about suicide is respecting that someone would make that choice. Sometimes it seems like the only way to sop the voices in our heads.

Don't take it personally and take on the suffering of another.

EMJ · 10-14-2016, 07:25 AM

Sorry for your loss, Denis. Just want to say I've enjoyed your posts here for many years. You're a clever, witty SOB.

cgarr · cgarr's Garage

So Sad but I know how it can happen, with my severe arthritis over the past 6 years and just sick of the pain and Opioids keeping me in a fog I am finally on a new medication and nearly off all the other mind altering crap. I can now see a new clear life and done with the haze and fog of the last 6 years!

Oh Haha · 08:28 AM

Glad to hear thing are getting better, Craig. Hang in there.

I have been at the edge like others but luckily had people around me that were supportive and made me realize that it was a foolish plan. When the pain and hopelessness is overbearing you just can't see ANY future with happiness in it. You convince yourself that it will NEVER get better.

J P Stein · 10-14-2016, 08:57 AM

I worked with a fella whose dad committed suicide. We worked together for around 15-20 years. and became friends....he didn't have many friends. His unstable personality didn't help.

He said many times that he didn't want to go out like his dad....he was getting professional help.

I retired and we lost touch. I went looking for him and found that he had taken the same trip his dad had made.

I'll wonder till I die if I could have helped him.........

sc_rufctr · 10-14-2016, 08:57 AM

When I was 33 a friend who I grew up with accidentally overdosed although it more likely it was intentional. He was 34 and still lived at home with his parents.
He never got married or had children and he never worked a regular job. Just occasional casual work and the dole.
12 months later his father died. His heart gave out but his family was convinced he died of a broken heart.

That family now is doing OK but the death of the son still sits in the back ground. Suicide is like that. It lingers in a family and does great damage.

My sympathy to your friends family. As time passes things change but the truth of what happened never does.
I'd bet at some point his ex wife will have to face up to her actions with regards to their daughter.