I learned to drive on a forklift

[Frank B]

Yes, I learned to drive on a forklift. I've been driving since I was 10 years old. The reason I'm mentioning this is because I actually out drove a guy in a 90 turbo this morning. I take a nice route to work, twisty and straight areas, very fun. The roads were dry and begging to be pounded by my car and me.

I was sitting at a light a block from my house when a guy in a red 90 Turbo 944 flashed his beams at me, I creeped over to where he was and asked him if he need any help. he said "nope, I've been trying to catch you for a month"

I was confused.. how could this be.. catch me? "he must be high" I thought to myself.

He asked if he could drive with me .. follow me.. I said, "Yeah, but I'm going to work" he said he worked near me and has been trying to motor into work with me for a while but just keeps loosing me. So, I waved him on to drive ahead of me.

Away we go. He slams it into first, I do to, leaving a huge cloud of rubber smoke behind me.. hehee.. I like doing that. I roar up behind him wondering why he jams his brakes on at the first (awesome) magnetic turn off of my street. I scream by him shifting into 3rd gear and back down into 2nd as I get midway through the turn. Once I am out I look back... I slow down, here he comes.. I wave him by, he "flashes me a "hang loose" sort of hand gesture.. whatever, I'm from Philly not L.A. I don't get it, I wanna drive.. I wanna drive fast. I love plastering myself into my seat , straining as I turn, it must be like holding onto to a panther that lunges at pig waiting to be devoured except that you are in a car that EATS asphalt. I rip by him doing 90 into the next long sweeping turn, I punch it onto the highway, and I'm off, cruising over 90 MPH he's no where in sight. I slow, I wait, here he comes. he's smiling as he crawls by at 70mph. I down shift and get on him.. I wanna move and be accomodating. So, I push him up to 85 mph.. I get anxious, I jump around immediatly over 95mph, he's behind again, and I'm flying, I catch the exit I get off at. He pulls up behind me and waves me over to the shoulder. I pull off, he gets out of his car, comes over to me and asks, " How do you drive like that man, aren't you afraid?" I ask him< afraid of what? Dude your in a ****** Porsche, what are you talking about?" he says "where did you learn to corner like that?" I reply "I learned to drive on a forklift when I was ten, and my uncle was race car driver and he used to let drive with him," "Oh" he says'" no wonder, man can you teach me how to drive like you do?" I said "I'm not a good teacher, I just like to drive" "He just laughed at me and said "I'll see ya tomorrow" then he ran back to his car. A cop pulled up behind us as he was getting into his car. I got out to let the officer that we were o.k. and just talking car stuff on the side of the road. As I approached the Turbo, the cop got out of his car, and the Turbo guy started to panic. The cop started laughing as he said to me, "Hey Frankie, everything honky dorey?" I said, "Yep, just goin to work, and taking a friend along for a chase." The cop laughed and looked at the Turbo guy and asked him," did you keep up with him?" the Turbo guy just looked at me like he was just hooked into a practical joke.

We said our goodmornings and goodbyes, Yes most of the Police officers know me from the dealership that I work at but they all know me because I love to drive my Car the way it's supposed to be driven.

I drive a Porsche, and I refuse to play by the rules.

Frank B

[Trevor]

How tight was the corner you downshifted in the middle of? If you were pushing it real hard it would love to go around on you.

[Frank B]

not on an uphill inside magnetic turn.... it's a huge turn.. sort of like an exit ramp turn.. that goes uphill slightly.. it gets really tight just before it bursts out and becomes straight..then you jump up rpms.. and shift into a higher gear..amazing..


Frank B

[Trevor]

Sounds wonderful. I miss my 944.

[todwic]

Forklifts: Great driving teachers.

Shortly after I got out of H.S., I started driving a self propelled pallet jack, then I went to work in a freezer dist. plant. The main freezer was made of slider racks and stand up lifts were required, and it had a blast cell (-80&deg) for hard freezing. The main aisle of the freezer was just wide enough for two stand up lifts to cross each other, tho it seemed I was the only one privy to this information, and I soon got the reputation as "crazy as a $hit house rat". My boss recognized crazy translated into skill, and I soon became the blast freezer guy, were the work was done with a regular forktruck, which was a hair narrower than a stand up lift (but longer). I loved tearing down the main aisle watching people breaking down sub-aisles in an effort to get out of my way, and watching the ones who couldn't cringe as I zipped past them, they expecting a collision that seldom came. There were complaints all the time that I was dangerous, and maybe I was, but it was fun and I never hurt anyone. I held forktruck certs from the Hyster factory, Clark, TCM, and Zero Mtn. It takes skill to know how much of a turn you can take without your ass end sliding around to meet ya, how narrow your ride is so that you don't scrape the sides.

[Frank B]

Yes Todwic, it certainly does. I also started driving Track-ho's when I was 13.. My Family owned a Lumber Company, and I worked with the yardmen until I was in my twenties, I miss it, I learned alot driving heavy equipment and trucks, especially about weight dispursment and momentum, Picture a 62 GMC Flat bed 16' loaded with ownens Corning (pink Panther) insulation hitting a bump on I 95 in Philly. YOu know nothing until a guy in a Yugo (CATCHES) pulls up next you with a roll of Foil back Insulation on his Friggin hood, AND He's Laughing at you. Then picture that you are fifteen years old and your uncle is next to you screaming (in your ear) what the f*$k is that Yugo doing?! Doesn't he know that'll fall off of his hood?... can you say duh......

Frank B

[daveimme]

Frank..... I remember a few years ago when I went to visit my buddy keith, in Memphis. We went to his Dad's house (he's a real porsche buff) and his Dad gave me the keys to his 00' Boxster and said, "Dave, would you like to take Keith for a ride?". "Sure do, sir"....I got it up on the interstate and, first time with the tiptronic at my fingertips, was in awe at how smooth and fun this was to drive (not to upset any 944 drivers here ), but it was fun... Car had 4,000 miles on it, and had the sports suspension set up. Keith then told me to pull off the interstate and said, 'let me show you how to drive it". He got to some nice twisties and scared the heck out of me, but the car performed flawlessly. I asked him if he knew his Dad knew how he drives his car and he said, "No. But this is how you drive a porsche", with NO pun intended. Hmmmmmmm

Yeah, Keith used to autocross his 914 20-something years ago (still has the 914, too) and the best he did in SCCA Pro Solo was 2nd. He CAN drive and often scares the heck out of me. I learned riding with him a few times and I plan to visit him with my 944 in the spring (he's a vw/porsche/audi mechanic and will do my timing belt maintenance, etc). I'm also going to get him to drive it with me in it so I can see what my car is capable of.

Me...I can lie and say that I got balls....but actually, I got little ones, in cars, anyways (give me a dirtbike in the woods and the trees know me on a first name basis). I have a few real nice tight turns that go to a friends' place in the next town over, but I've yet to take my car down that way and can't wait actually, since it was done over and is sooo smooth. I yearn to see how the car REALLY corners; with me in it.

But, I do need tie rod ends and hopefully with Christmas fast approaching, I may get them right afterwards (6 kids at christmas time can be expensive).....

Cool reading...I admire that guy for showing his admiration for a real porsche driver! Wish I could have seen it.

[Frank B]

I actually flunked my drivers test.. 3 times in a row.. nice huh?.. the first time I took it, I blew the first stop sign that I pulled up to.. I just went right through it.


the second time that I tested I launched the cop into the passenger door during the slalom.. hey it wasn't My fault I was in a 70 elCamino, it handled like a sled..



the third time I tested, Iwas speeding so, I did a powerslide (knowing I'd already failed) using the emergency brake in the section that you are supposed to do a 3 point turn in.

the fourth time the officer (a hottie and a half) liked my Hair and passed me because she thought that I was cute, she didn't seem to mind that I backed into the car behind me during the paralell parking test. what was I supposed to do I was 16 had a boner and she was really cute..

I suck

Frank B

[daveimme]

Yep. I see em all flattened out in the left part of the photo. I hope 'that' driving tester was not 'the' hottie...

[Frank B]

Hey.. I ruined enough drywall in y day to completely skin over liz taylors mansion... and I'm proud..


Frank B

[SoCal Driver]

My first high speed ride was a couple of used racing go-karts my grandfather got a hold of. Guess I was 12 or 13.

Eveytime I really lock into the grove going around a corner in my 944 I get this big smile and give old granddad a thanks!