Disable 996 paddle shifter?

[videowallart]

I have a '03 996 w/ tip and want to disable the paddle shifters. Why? because for the next 4-6 months one of my hands will continually be in a cast. I have driven my car 100 miles since my first surgery/casting and I am constantly hitting the shifter. I NEVER use them intentionally and would just glue them but I will resell the car someday...is there a simple way to castrate the stupid things? preferably 1 handed...