Quote:
Originally Posted by McLovin
Sure, showing up with a bottle of wine is often done for a formal dinner party. But not always. It depends.
But you don’t slip the host a $20, pay a utility bill or mow the lawn.
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My rules:
1) I never show up empty handed. Wine, beer, flowers, dessert, something.
2) I always ask how I can help. After dinner when the host starts clearing, I don't ask -- just start clearing too.
3) I follow up with a 'thank you' a day or two later. Used to send a thank you note via snail mail (yes, even to close friends), now it's a text, email, or phone call. I must be getting soft.
4) I try to find a way to reciprocate -- dinner at our place next time, something like that.
How I was raised. I don't necessarily expect the same from others, but I appreciate it when they treat me the same way. If they don't, no big deal. But after a couple of instances where a guest makes no meaningful effort to acknowledge my hospitality (BTW, this is the situation the OP describes, in my opinion) or to reciprocate in some way, they don't get invited back. Totally different if an outing or event is a gift of some kind, but that's how I roll.