[Scott Douglas]

The other day my wife came home from a shopping trip and gleefully announced that she'd bought a new couch for the family room.
OK.
It came today.
I had all my ducks in a row and the guys were here less than 15 minutes and only came in the sliding glass door to install it. I think it will easily be their easiest delivery today. I paid them $20 to carry the old couch out front for me as it was a heavy son of B.
So, it's out on the driveway, waiting for me to get the cushions out on it and for me to call the city to pick it up tomorrow. We're allowed one oversized pickup every two months I think is what the gal said when I called.
I move it and the cushions out to the parkway so it'll be easier for the guy putting it in the really cool truck they have now for stuff like this. I didn't get pictures of the neighbor's couch when it was picked up the week before but it has all kinds of hydraulics on it. They used to have a flat bed truck with stock racks on it to get stuff like this. Now the hardest thing the operator has to do is get the item on the lift in front. Up and over it goes into the bed and then a big ram pushes it all to the back, crushing everything as it goes. Pretty impressive compared to the old truck.
Anyway, the couch is sitting out there, I no sooner call the city and there's someone looking at the couch. 5 minutes later all the cushions are gone and the base has been carted away too!
I call the city again and cancel the pickup.
When our kids were in junior high my son asked why we live in the ghetto. I guess it's for moments like this where a couch can disappear in 5 minutes.