My Mom is 87 and has pretty severe dementia. She still recognizes me and my sister, but isn't oriented to place or time. She's lived in a memory care facility for a bit over 2 years now. She mostly refers to it as a school she works at. We've been in a loop where she calls and asks me to come pick her up and take her home. Typically I've been able to redirect her and tell her I can't come today, she can stay "see the bed there mom" and I'll pick her up tomorrow. She has no short term memory so that type of "white lie" has worked well.
Friday was different. She escalated in the middle of the night and I couldn't talk her down. They had to transport her to the ER very early Friday morning. They can't do any type of restraints in memory care. Once they are deemed a danger to themselves or others, they have to call the ambulance service. I agreed with the staff person's judgment.
She may have a slight urinary tract infection so that's being treated. They did send her back on Friday mid day. She had been slightly sedated in the ER because she was a real pain in the rear to manage. I was there and consented to everything. My sister was with her but stepped out briefly. Of course Mom fell and hit her head. Back to the ER for a CT. Doctor released her. Friday night she escalated again once the zyprexa wore off. Back to the ER.
She had a case manager over the weekend at the hospital who just kept telling me she couldn't stay. She had to go back to the facility or home with me. This is after two falls, a UTI, severe behavioral issues..... She still doesn't qualify to be admitted. The facility nurse says we can't take her back until she is stable on a medication regimen that manages her behaviors.
She's basically been sleeping since Saturday. Thankfully we have a new case manager who is a night and day difference. She actually gives a crap and has been so kind and good at explaining things to us. She's also now been seen by a Psychiatrist to review her meds.
Apparently this issue is a well known gray area with seniors with dementia and behavioral issues. My friend who is in hospital administration calls them long termers. Hospitals don't want them, care facilities like memory care and skilled nursing won't take them back. Of course getting insurance to pay is an issue. Ugh, our system really sucks at times.
If she recovers and can go back, our next issue is her savings is dwindling. Her current "rent" is over twice her SS and pension. She has between 12 and 24 months of money left depending on how many add on services she needs if they can get her stable. Then we'd need to find a medicaid bed for her. Her current facility doesn't have any.
Sorry for the rant. Dementia is just a really cruel end for people. I know others here have dealt with it. In my mind I really lost my Mom 4 years ago. Our care/insurance system only makes it all worse.
Mom with my older dog Gracie a few years ago.
