Quote:
Originally Posted by vash
I didnt know why. I do now.
I have a bud. a guy I kayak fish with. funny guy, good laughs, etc. but I don't consider him a friend and I didnt know why.
I have been reading books and listening to online lectures about communication. my motivation was becoming a supervisor of people. I didnt grow up in the family that hugged or told each other we loved each other. so I am a bit robotic in that department. (as a family, we have gotten better). I wanted to communicate clearer, cleaner, and with empathy. like a human.
in a lecture I heard a term. the "TOPPER". as soon as I heard the description it clicked. my bud is a topper. a topper speaks mostly about themselves. if I speak, they have quit listening and have focused on what their response will be. and they TOP the conversation. for example, I can say, "hey I just bought a new truck!". a regular conversation would be: "yea? what truck? what color? what do you think so far? do you like it?" a topper would say, "yea..I am buying a new truck too!"
this exact conversation happened. but insert new fishing reel as a substitute for truck. haha...I got it.
I have a slew of performance evaluations to do with employees. the stuff I have read and listened to, hopefully will help me do it more effectively. I heard a great phrase. "don't use a big word, when a small word will do". communication is an art form. I don't have it. but I am trying.
my fishing bud? I'll keep fishing occasionally with him, but I am not showing him any secret lakes. hahah..
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I worked with a guy like that, I used to joke that if you said you had a silver plated lawnmower, he would have a gold one! Always had to one up everyone.
You should show him your best lake, because then he will show you a better one!