[HobieMarty]

I keep telling myself this but it just doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
On October 17th last year, my stepfather Charlie was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. October 17th is Charlie's birthday, hell of a birthday present to find out you have stage 4 inoperable cancer. For several months he went through chemo treatments and a few weeks ago he had a check up and the chemo hasn't really slowed anything down and he decided to not undergo any more treatments. As difficult it is to accept, I respect his decision.
Hospice comes twice a week and meds are administered daily to manage the pain. Two days ago he was in a lot of pain and his meds were increased or changed, not really sure. Mom does all that she can and now a sitter is there at night to help. I talked to Charlie yesterday on the phone and he sounded good but he sounded groggy from the meds, he was and is always in good spirits and just says this is a part of life. Mom said that today he slept a lot, drank some water but hasn't really wanted anything to eat. I know that he won't be with us much longer.
I am going to visit him and Mom this Thursday and I am supposed to leave for Korea for a week this Saturday and I really don't feel good about leaving but Charlie has insisted that I go on this trip!!! Ugh, I am so sick of death but like it has been said, it is just a part of life.

Be well everyone.

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