Not that I hate the cars... it's their $%#$%$#% SMOG cycle that drives me crazy. BMW, Mini, the lot of them ! Each time you pull the battery (dead, or some work) the SMOG readiness never resets in "normal" driving. You then must do some really crazy stupid cycle (with no idea if you can pause between phases or if it resets of what) that is pretty much impossible to do on real roads...
Like Hold 20-30 mph <3000 rpm for 3m15 sec. Where do I do that without a stop sign or traffic light, presumably AFTER a dead cold start where I waited 2m10s in neutral sec before going (which starts the test) ? Nowhere..
Worse: 40-60 mph <3000 mph and no big throttle opening.. Dudes.. With an M3 maybe. With a sign on the back window that says "do not kill me, I'm driving slow on the freeway because of a stupid emission cycle". On the kid's mini cooper ??? I'm not even sure we can REACH 40mph under 3000 RPM, LOL... Then you have to decel to 20 without touching the brakes on a perfectly sloped exit with no traffic, let it idle 5 min (on that exit!!!), close the door, wait 5-10 min for ECU to store data and go to sleep? I can see the red and blue lights already
F$%#%$. I had to do this once on the E46 M3 and swore to myself the battery never ever gets disconnected ever again or the car goes.. With the kid's Mini, I am toast.. There is NOTHING worng with the emissions BTW, it's just "not ready" because nobody drives like that.
Anyone knows if I can do this stupid test on jackstands ? I don't wanna risk my life on a public road at speed that generate road rage or accidents. I was getting drafted by semi trucks 2ft from my rear bumper last time I did that with the M3. They thought I was messing with them.