Quote:
Originally posted by djmcmath
Matt, the ugly/drunk line is generally attributed to Winston Churchill, of all people. 
Dan
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After having a few drinks, Churchill behaved badly at a social affair at Mary Astors home in New York. Apparently he was overheard telling dirty jokes in mixed company.
Mrs. Astor: "Mr. Churchill! If I were your wife, I'd put poison in your tea."
Churchill: "Ma'am, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."