[Dueller]

I have twin 16 y.o. stepdtrs that are stunning...and really becomming aware of thir affect on men. They, too, are a bit too familiar at times. But that is a bit different than your situation with essentially a grown woman.

I think you've got to address it head on with her. If her mom is like most, she'll defend dtr and you'll end up being blamed. So I guess I'd arrange to meet dtr in a public place for coffee and just be honest with her...tell her you really adore her and love her like your own, but you're feeling uncomfortable that she's becoming too familiar; tell her you value her relationship but don't want to jeopardize your relationship with her mother. Above all else don't blame her and if she concedes (unlikely) she is being a bit too coquetish with you, tell her you're flattered but you think its unhealthy and you don't wanna go there. Tell her you would llike to keep this between the two of you.

Oh yeah...in case all this backfires and dtr accuses you of inappropriate behaviour, write your plans down in a letter and mail it to yourself before your discussion...don't open it; store it away. That way you have documentation that is dated if it does blow up in your face. Hate to sound paranoid, but it might help.