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Vash:
I would definitely file a restraining order. I don't think this situation is by any means "normal". I would imagine this guy has some pretty serious issues to be hanging around after 9 years. Moreover, when you and your wife were married, it should have offically been game over for him. He obviously has zero respect for your legal union.
You have stayed passive long enough. That crap about him calling you to discuss their "romantic" encounters would send me over the edge. You really cannot physically harm him without very negative consequences for you. So, I would sit down with my wife and tell her this stalking needs to stop NOW! She needs to agree to involve the police, NEVER answer an email and change her cell phone number. If she balks at all, you have other concerns...
He needs to be out of your lives--now! This guy is unstable.
Good luck!
Mike
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