[jhynesrockmtn]

Super, I would imagine some of our earlier background is very similar. I married the wrong woman and didn't get out for over 20 years because of kids, screwed up religious upbringing, low self esteem, not wanting to be the bad guy and +1,000 other reasons. It took me a few tries to find a therapist I could connect with but once I did it was a great experience. We spent quite a bit of time talking about why I couldn't feel anything or identify my emotional state.

It's a process and there are many ways to tackle it but don't discount good professional help.

I met a woman who was the opposite of my ex. A great and warm intimate relationship ensued but I couldn't commit to her long term for a variety of reasons and was up front about that. Still, if things in her life had been different we'd still be together and I'm talking about the more rationale stuff. Her kids were a mess, etc. and I wasn't willing to be the one to rescue her. I'm now in a relationship with a great woman and both the physical and rationale sides work well but there are times, days, weeks where I wonder if I wouldn't be better off alone. I think I suffer from the "grass is always greener" syndrome where I assume sometimes what I don't have will be better than what I do.

I check in with my shrink every so often but I agree with Nostatic, it's something that has to have an end in sight, not a life long conversation. Best of luck.