OK, guys...you have been a source of sanity, perspective and even humor as I go thru my domestic foibles. Things have improved dramatically...perhaps I should just enjoy the ride for what its worth. But you know me...I want to make everything perfect
I don't attribute everything to the wife's "change"...I can be a bear to live with, no doubt. And I worked very hard to deal with my own issues...to a modicum of success.
The problem I'm dealing with now is my wife's apparent lack of insight as to things that she does that frustrate me...things I feel the need to address and resolve. She is often dismissive or deflects my concerns. Yet she is convinced I am the source of all her anger and hostility and depression. When I press her and give concrete examples of of other things that affect her mood/actions/depression (i.e., hormone induced mood swings, problems at her business, physical ailments,stc) she cannot get past the fact I am not responsible for these preferring to blame me entirely for her attitude/depression.
Weird. How do you deal with someone who won't accept their own responsibility for their contributions to problems in the relationship? Ignore them? Hammer away with logic? Force the issues? Withdraw and hope that this too shall pass? Become absorbed in your own world? Let her stew in her own funk? Fess up constantly to your own shortcomings in the hopes she will see hers?
In my wife's defense, she has really made an effort to be more positive, attentive and loving. She's even making an effort to throw that cat on me with regularity. But it just seems such an effort for her.
Perhaps I want too much out of a marriage. Maybe I should just sit back and take what I get.
Thanks for letting me vent. Thankfully this latest "crisis" is not nearly a severe as past episodes.