[Laneco]

Must have been a tough one for the 15 year old to break the silence. When you have all the family being abused, it's usually the one who can't stand the youngest child to be hurt who speaks up. Terrifying for her and a huge "risk" opening up this ugly thing, but she saved her sisters years of damage, and may have even saved their lives. Sexually abused children have serious long term coping problems and a high suicide rate. That young lady should have a medal of courage.

Court is really hard for children. I think it's better now that it used to be, but still pretty brutal. The mom gets the guilt thing - "why didn't I see it?" "did I know something was wrong and just prettended not to see?" "I FAILED...FAILED at the only task in my life that really matters..."

What do friends see? Well, when this happened to a friend of my daughter (a girl I've known for years and absolutely adore), I was enraged. How could a man do that to his child? Frankly, I wanted to kill him and in the process, I really wanted him to die absolutely terrified. These aren't healthy thoughts and are not ones that keep the law abiding person out of jail, so if you feel this way, step back... I don't think I got to a cooling off period until this girl seemed to be adapting/adjusting/settling with good therapy. I can't believe how resiliant she proved to be and how well she is doing now.

There is no point of this that is good or easy. But they have turned a corner to a future that is better and most certainly safer. The mom and daughters should really invest in a therapy situation for as long as it takes to move everyone back to an even keel. As absolutely horrific as this is, human beings are capable of recovering from even the most depraved acts. Not easily, certainly not quickly in such a bad case, but we are capable. It is something that has allowed us to survive as a species.

I'm not any kind of therapist and I didn't sleep in a Motel 6 last night, just hope this offers a bit of insight and helps some.

angela