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T shirt: "Crusade of Regret" with a graphic of a wedding cake topper below
Bowling ball must be attached with a bolt that goes all the way through (recess the head and grind the points off the nut and damage the threads) and the chain should only be long enough to allow carrying while walking but not so long that the victim can stand erect and comfortably hold the ball.
Leave the chain un-attached in order to travel to Vegas as the airlines frown on wrecking ball weapons.
Don't forget the blue "RIT DYE" to pour on his junk while he drunkenly pees into a urinal. Cause nothing is funnier than trying to explain to your new wife why and how you have a blue penis.
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