[Rusty Heap]

I went to a topless strip bar last night, and saw a fat chick doing a dance on a table top.

I said to her, "Nice legs."

The she giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. "



***




"Jesus loves you."

A nice gesture in church, but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.




***




I got caught taking a piss in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.