[MRM]

My son is a senior now and is in the process of accepting the college he will attend next year. My wife and I have a bit of practical experience with degrees and real life employment, so I think our advice and experience is sound.

First, I would not hire a financial aid planner. They don't know anything you can't figure out on your own. And you'll work harder for you than anyone else will. I recommend educating yourself and spending a lot of time with your daughter's high school counselors. They are likely to be very good.

Second, don't make your decision based on the schools' "sticker price". The public state school is $25,000-$30,000 a year compared to Syracuse at $56,000. But Syracuse is private and has a huge endowment and has more flexibility on financial aid and scholarships. The Ohio state schools will have every other bright kid with a 3.5 GPA/30 ACT competing for the same scholarship dollars and financial aid will be stretched more thinly. My son is looking at a local state school that is a little under $20,000 all-in or a local well-regarded private school that is in the $40s. But he will get nothing from the state school and he is getting between $10,000 and $15,000 from the private school. So now the gap is $7,500 to $10,000 a year. Still a lot, but it is close enough to consider. This brings us to the real tipping point:

Third, what will the extra money buy your daughter and is it worth the expense? Certain schools open doors for you that would otherwise be closed. The extra money you pay in tuition will pay itself back many times over. Also, paying extra to get a better fit for your kid where she gets better grades and then gets on track for a better career can also be money well spent. The question is whether the school, degree and your child's needs converge to make the high-priced, more prestigious school worth it.

Look at it this way. If your kid gets into Harvard and wants a career in law or business, the money she spends on Harvard's tuition versus in-state at Ohio, is obviously going to be worth it. A Harvard business grad's lifetime average earnings are that much greater than the average business grad's earnings at any state school. But, is your kid going to benefit from a more expensive school, either because she is going to do that much better there, or because the school opens options? A teacher is going to make the same whether she graduates from Harvard or Metro State University.

In my kid's case, I think he will do much better at the private school and it has an alumni network that is well known for helping its grads. The state school gives an excellent education, but won't give him the same leg up on getting a job, and I'm worried he wouldn't thrive in that environment. So to me, $10,000 a year is worth it. The quid quo pro is that he knows that has to show the grades to justify our ongoing investment.

So that's what it boils down to. What is the real retail price difference between the two schools when you see their financial aid and scholarship packages? And when you see the actual cost difference, what does Syracuse offer that Ohio doesn't? Does Syracuse qualify her for a career in national broadcasting, whereas the local college is an outlet for small local radio stations? If so, the extra money can be worth it, if she is the type of kid who can take advantage of the opportunity. If she's not of the caliber to make that leap, even from a nationally renowned school, then it doesn't matter if she does go to the big name school. But if she does have that potential, and that is her career goal, it could pay off to spend the money on Syracuse.

Finally, there's nothing wrong with her incurring some debt. Studies have shown that there is a direct negative correlation between the amount of money parents spend on their children's college and their grades - the more a parent gives the kid, the worse his grades are. If you have $110,000 saved, and that would cover four years at a state school and half to two-thirds of a prestigious private school, why not let her go to the private school with the understanding that she has to borrow the rest. It wouldn't be a crushing debt load for her and it would give her some skin in the game.

Ivies don't give athletic scholarships, but they do have discretion on how much financial aid they offer prospective students. The athletic department always coordinates with the financial aid department to make sure good athletes get generous financial aid packages. This may be what the family above interpreted as a partial athletic scholarship. Strictly speaking it's neither a scholarship nor legal, but it's the way things are done.