Quote:
Originally Posted by jhynesrockmtn
I run a small equine therapy program that serves vets.
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When my cousin lived with us, he could not be separated from our dog. He loved our dog, and would take her for walks, and feed her, and brush her - that dog was a constant companion. I almost considered letting her go with him when he moved out. But I knew he'd not be able to take care of her. Even though he doted on her and was her constant companion, he would forget some of the most basic things about caring for a pet.
And the fact that the dog was meant for my kids, and not for him. I would have got my kids another dog if I would have had confidence in his ability to take care of the current one. Yet another thing I feel guilty about. Add it to the stack.
Yeah, he'd talk to me, when he wouldn't talk to a VA professional. When he wasn't drunk, he was silent and morose. When he was drunk, he was either very angry, or weepy. And I was the only one who could be with him at any time. I really don't know why he trusted me. I wasn't in his unit. I never fired a shot in anger. I never had anyone fire a weapon at me. I never saw any of the stuff he did. But he had nightmares. Both at night and during the day.
He loved my 3.2. He loved sitting in it. But I couldn't take him for a drive. Two blocks, and he'd be freaking out. One time, I came around a corner, and an SUV was sitting on the side of the road. He went apeschitt. It was all I could do to get him home. And when we were in the garage, he apologized and told me how much he loved riding in my car. That part just kills me, even now. He loved riding in the car, but I couldn't ever get him out of the neighborhood. IEDs and suicide bombers everywhere. His hell is over now, but I am now just glimpsing the horror of it all. I have to admit, the other day, I saw a box on the side of the road, and just for an instant, I wondered. I can't imagine living that way.
My PP brothers, this hurts a lot. And my cousin was so proud of his service. And we were proud and thankful, too. And yet...