OT...Harley Davidson

[rjo]

I did a search, and didn't find this on the first page of results, so at the risk of offending the H-D owners here, I present....

Harley-Davidson: The most efficient way to convert petrol into noise without
the adverse side effect of horsepower

Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.

Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.

What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
Trade it in on a Suzuki.

Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the sidestands are down?
They're afraid to lean over that far.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.

How do you now you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.

Why don't Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
Because they don't want to drop their tools.

How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are
worth the money?
You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile.

How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower
rating.

Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece
of crap would YOU be smiling?

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirtbags.

Why do Harleys have tassels?
So you can tell if they're moving.

How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of utes.

How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the
canyons.

What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the ute by itself.

Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.

What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and one
that's being ridden there?
The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.

Why do all Harley owners have trailers??
So they can go around corners faster!

Where can you find the world's largest collection of Harley jokes?
On the showroom of the Harley mega-store in Milwaukee.

You know you're a Harley rider if.
.you're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.
.you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering
flaws."
."water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting
for a ute

And the biggest (or at least the most expensive) Harley joke of all time:
The Harley-Davidson VR-1000 superbike racer.

[WildWilly]

What do you say to a Harley owner wearing a suit and tie? Will the defendant please rise.

[jpalamaro]

Originally Posted by rjo

I did a search, and didn't find this on the first page of results, so at the risk of offending the H-D owners here, I present....

Don't worry about the RISK part, you did offend the owners. At least if I were an HD owner I would not only be offended but checking your profile to see if you were a neighbor.

Perhaps more interesting is the numbers of BMW owners that came from HD ranks and still keep their HD's, for whatever reasons.

[throttlemeister]

There are jokes like this on just about every brand. The only ones getting offended about them are the HD owner. Which makes the HD jokes the funniest of the bunch.

Seriously, if you get offended over a joke of a motorcycle brand, there is something really wrong with you, or said brand has an awesome marketing machine. Or both.

[jpalamaro]

Originally Posted by throttlemeister

Seriously, if you get offended over a joke of a motorcycle brand, there is something really wrong with you, or said brand has an awesome marketing machine. Or both.

I must have missed something in the translation. I guess a few jabs and jokes are ok but at some point they become insulting and wearisome. And, unless you know me personally and/or you are able to psychologically evaluate me with clinical accuracy, I suggest that you might consider your choice of verbiage. A few suggestions might be:

Lighten up dude, it was in fun!
Are you off your meds again!
...and the horse your rode in on!

[WildWilly]

I am a HD owner and I was not offended. When the shift linkage broke, the cruise control quit working and the final drive failed on my K1200LT, that offended me. Yet, if I made jokes about that, I'm sure rjo wouldn't be offended. I'm back here looking for a good used R1100S to keep my antiquated Harley company.

[signit98]

Same here... I have had my share of (small) issues with my HD... overall though, it is a great bike and I am having fun with it. It is the bike I have (by far) kept the longest!

"If you can't laugh about yourself, you leave that job to others"

[JonyRR]

I am also a harley owner and was not offended..I even read one or two I hadn't seen before.
The one thing about the VR1000, however..it might be a joke, but if you're lucky enough to actually own one, they're worth between 30-40K USD. Very collectable.
Try THAT with your piece of bavarian engineering schisa.

And if you have an 1100S, would you care to race MY harley in the 1/4 mile? Please? I have 1000.00 USD that says my 90CID sportster dirttracker (running on 20% nitro) will kick your teutonic kiester all the way back to the Brandenburg gate with it's dachshund tail lbetween it's legs like Leni Reifensthal on a bad day... *smile*.
Just sayin'...

[roger albert]

Ha,

Jony lives for these kind of challenges

[JonyRR]

yeah, roger..I know. One of these days somebody's gonna take me up on that offer and I better have a full-power charge in each cartridge.
Actually, I was shocked at how much of an animal this sporty ended up being...it's almost uncontrollable at times as 130ft-lb of torque winds up the frame like a pushcart vendor's pretzil...but in a straight line it's a pure rush. Being a harley, and very few understand about heavily-leaned on sportsters (the REAL engine of the hd lineup) it's easy to find squid-kid victims at the local stoplight.
I tell the kids 'it's just a dirt bike, see the high pipes..hehehe.
They always say 'why does it smell so wierd' and I tell them it's fuel tank cleaner in the gas (in a way it is, as nitromethane is corrosive)
stupid fun, but fun nonetheless...and all that engine work cost less, probably, then shreddr's top end job: 1450.00 for the cylinders and piston kit, 200.00 for casse boring and prep, 900.00 for extensive headwork and twin plugging, 250.00 for the twin-plug single fire ignition and I had the 44MM PJ lectron laying there..also hade the superetrapp pipes already.
animale'!!!

[bradzdotcom]

ah, a lectron carb.
shades of sparky edmondson.
i was involved in the edvac carb fiasco of years gone by.
the biz/buck experience sucked, but got to ride a tz750 drag bike a few times.
scary fast, like your HD.

[JonyRR]

I LIKE Lectrons.
I still have 3 of every metering rod they ever made (I had 3 38mmPJ's on my GT750/890 suzuki water buffalo)
Now they're almost impossible to get. Someone or other seems to have the franchise and you have to buy them from Fast By Gast or some other ATV hick out of the midwest. Very frustrating experience.
But they work very well without all that multiple jets/accfellerator pump horsehockey. They just work..then someone tried to 'improve' them with that EdVac BS

[flatbutt]

I can honestly say that i have never ridden a machine with more down low torque than the HD XLCR. Of course I haven't been on ALL makes of bike but that thing generated gobs o' power off theline. Would I want to take it on a long azz way from home? No. But it scooted the quarter most ricky tick.

[ckcarr]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

Would I want to take it on a long azz way from home? No. But it scooted the quarter most ricky tick.

The Harley dealer network is far, far more extensive than the BMW network. Out West, if you get stranded on a more exotic brand you easily could find yourself SOL, which seem to be stories I read occassionally on AdvRider and other boards. Having said that, the failure rate and quality of the major manufacturers are all about equal anymore. That is to say, high quality all around, with the odd problems, Gold Wing frames, Harley cam chain tensioners, BMW rear drives and spline shafts...

I'd always take my Harley long distances over the BMW. You never know when the r1200s just won't start...

[roger albert]

A friend has lectrons on his H3. It's another beast with a LOT more motor than chassis, stock.
He's done a bunch to the motor, and nothing to the frame, or forks.
***shudder***

[geothepencil]

Originally Posted by ckcarr

I'd always take my Harley long distances over the BMW. You never know when the r1200s just won't start...

Since my GS quit in Utah last year it must be where you live thats the problem. A spare antenna ring saved the day for me. We always have a spare just in case. You should too.

geo

[8ball]

I'll have to send this anonymously to a friend, you know they have no sense of humor about these things!

[tim22]

Originally Posted by JonyRR

I am also a harley owner and was not offended..I even read one or two I hadn't seen before.
The one thing about the VR1000, however..it might be a joke, but if you're lucky enough to actually own one, they're worth between 30-40K USD. Very collectable.
Try THAT with your piece of bavarian engineering schisa.

And if you have an 1100S, would you care to race MY harley in the 1/4 mile? Please? I have 1000.00 USD that says my 90CID sportster dirttracker (running on 20% nitro) will kick your teutonic kiester all the way back to the Brandenburg gate with it's dachshund tail lbetween it's legs like Leni Reifensthal on a bad day... *smile*.
Just sayin'...

A family friend for many years who owns JBFWHD (Jim Bailey's Fort Wayne Harley Davidson in Indiana) had one of those VR1000s in his shop one time. I stop in to visit him occasionally when I'm passing through on trips up to Michigan. When the bike came out a long time ago I happened to be visiting and he had one the back. It was already sold to one of his Harley dirt track buddies--Scotty Parker I think. I had read about the bike in the magazines and stuff and never thought I'd lay eyes on one. He started the engine for me and it was loud as f*%#! I believe they were going for $50,000 back then. They made the minimum 50 for racing homologation.

Unfortunately, the bike didn't fair so well out on the track. I think one of their riders managed a 3rd once in AMA Superbike and a few top-ten's, but that was it.

I do admire the effort though.

Yea, I sure would like to have one of those sitting in my living room!

[ckcarr]

Originally Posted by geothepencil

Since my GS quit in Utah last year it must be where you live thats the problem. A spare antenna ring saved the day for me. We always have a spare just in case. You should too.

geo

It's the radiation...

Does anyone know the current correct part number for the spare antenna ring?

[geothepencil]

Originally Posted by ckcarr

It's the radiation...

Does anyone know the current correct part number for the spare antenna ring?

I'm wrapping the bike ( and maybe myself) up in tin foil next time ! The last I knew, the most recent part number ended in 247. Check w/dealer I guess. They are a lot cheaper now than when they first came out.

geo