The real issue is comparing others to yourself in the performing the Art of conversation. If we were all the same how boring would that be?

As a Air Force brat, we moved a lot. Every single year from 1st grade to 11th grade I heard the phrase “class this is Glen the new kid in school”.

I learned at an early age to make friends, and how to talk to people I did not know at all. Going from Hawaii to Alabama is not an easy transition in language or culture.

I went to my wife’s (number deleted) high school reunion in Enid, OK. I did not know anyone or have any local knowledge of places or things. I still had no problem talking to total strangers, and listening to them. I enjoyed myself.

I have some hearing issues (really bad tinnitus) and can't hear well in noisy places where a lot of people are talking or there is a lot of background noise. I tend to lean in to hear what someone is saying. I know for me it's a bit embarrassing having to say "what was that you just said" so I try not to engage in conversation in loud places. It's funny because in crowded spaces you'd think I'm antisocial.

If you want a really good conversation... Shut up and when it's time for you to speak, ask questions & wait for the reply & really listen.

Similar experience as a youth with my Dad. He was a cattle broker, self made man - never worked for anyone else in his life. I saw that it is as much what you don't say, the importance of what to ask others.

I'm still working on improving my conversational skills ....................

Some good comments here.

I think it's a significant thing - to be able to talk with people...carry on a conversation.

What kills me is when you're standing in line at a store and no one is even attempting to carry on a conversation with anyone else....instead they just stand there....impatiently waiting for their turn at the register.

For stores that have self-checkout, that's how I do it. Otherwise whoever is in front or behind me is going to be engaged while we wait. It's damn amazing how interesting life is when you talk to strangers. The things you hear about is not available anywhere else.

I get this from my Mom who has always had an outgoing manner about her.

Rod Stewart said "Every picture has a story." He's right. We're surrounded by pictures - and people - every day. And they all have stories.

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With close friends, I can talk about anything, and make a concerted effort to stay on subject, or bring up stuff they might find interesting. I am not a small talk kind of guy to co-workers, and generally shut down when they start showing pictures on thier phones, and talking at length about thier kids, or their pet's latest antics.

I can't imagine starting conversations with strangers in checkout lines, and will usually give short answers to those who attempt it.

I find it much easier to speak to someone my same age. We probably have kids the same ages, etc. Try talking to some kid who doesn't know there was life before the internet. ;)

[QUOTE=Baz;10199012]Some good comments here.

I think it's a significant thing - to be able to talk with people...carry on a conversation.

What kills me is when you're standing in line at a store and no one is even attempting to carry on a conversation with anyone else....instead they just stand there....impatiently waiting for their turn at the register.

My wife and I can start a conversation with just about anybody. I was by myself in a lineup the other day behind an Asian lady. I thought she was about 25. She had a carton of eggs and when she came to pay I said to the cashier I would pay for them. She turned around and she appeared to be about 55. She declined my offer and thanked me anyway. At least I tried and was pleasant to her.

Life is too short to be unfriendly. :)

I’m in sales too and am bored to death of meaningless talk. I think of conversation as more of a game. It gets more fun the more personal it becomes. I try to cut through the crap and connect on a meaningful level quickly.

Case in point: This morning a lady at the front desk I was checking into (operating room) had a protein shake container, obviously from home and part of a diet. I opened up and was transparent about my weight loss challenges and asked if she liked the shake. We had a great talk... Much more enjoyable than BS.

If your talking just to talk and be in a “conversation” I bores me. Talk about something personal, be transparent and confident and I’m all in.

[QUOTE=recycled sixtie;10200682] Good for you, Guy.

Along those lines, I'll buy a candy bar along with my stuff and hand it to the cashier - or offer her/him one of my bananas (no jokes please) or something like that. The cashiers are the ones who typically get no respect. Most people think of them as just workers. I see it and cut through it. They are human - not machinery.




I agree and that's really the essence of it. Don't talk just to talk. Get something out of it and provide your counterpart with something also. A compliment is a good start. Sometimes in a grocery line I will ask them how they like that particular brand of "whatever". Most people like to cook and will gladly exchange conversation on that topic alone.

"Do you make your own cocktail sauce?" "Why yes I do...I mix yada yada yada...."

a conversation with a great story-teller is a wonderful thing.

i love it. that alone makes a dinner party.

I have a friend who will start a conversation with anybody. He loves people and loves to hear their stories. MrsWD is that way too. We have met some amazing people because she started a conversation. We met Spooner Oldham and Tom Austin because she just started talking to them. We had no idea who they were. We were at a car show and I was with George Montgomery promoting our book. I looked over at the booth across the way and there was my wife yucking it up with Don Garlits. She had no idea who Don Garlits is.
Me - I don't even think about it. It just doesn't occur to me to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I've missed out on a lot because of that.

My wife always asks me, "Did you make a new friend?" One time years ago I called the information operator and got into a short conversation with her. My wife kidded me about that for along time.

I have had some interesting conversations with the customer sales departments at places I call and place an order. I sometimes prefer a call instead of setting up a username and password for yet one more business I likely will never order from.

Travel, meeting having to spend the entire day or days making nice at meetings with strangers, minding subtle manners, not cussing, acting like you GAS.

When I get on a plane, the LAST thing I want to do is have to keep up that act of GAS, and yes's it's an act.

Being polite to strangers and actually acting like you care about their discoveries is WORK.

rjp