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vash's Avatar
 
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the art of conversation.

man..i think it's dying.

i have some coworkers; the nicest people ever! but i avoid talking to them for any extended conversations.

that back and forth banter is not even possible. they only talk about their topics..a few subject changes down the road, and they are still talking about whatever topic we moved on from.

there was a very great conversation this morning..i left and shut my door. i just left two people jockeying for their points with zero acknowledgment of what they just heard. it is super awkward and the rhythm gets totally effed up.

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Old 09-28-2018, 11:57 AM
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I really don’t want to talk about this.
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Old 09-28-2018, 01:16 PM
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"I feel ___________________ when you _____________________"
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Old 09-28-2018, 01:16 PM
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< looks up from his phone >
I'm sorry, what were you saying?
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Old 09-28-2018, 01:22 PM
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I find most people are very boring.
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Old 09-28-2018, 01:27 PM
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Love this topic.

As a salesperson, who is direct, articulate, and a killer listener...it's become increasingly apparent in the last 10 years how much of a differentiation this is for me.

Being able to intelligently engage people in a great conversation is being increasingly revered as a unique skill, which I plan to keep honing.

Otherwise, what masrum said basically sums it all up which I feel is an unfortunate leading indicator of decreasing social intelligence
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Old 09-28-2018, 01:34 PM
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Huh?
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Old 09-28-2018, 02:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cabmando View Post
"I feel ___________________ when you _____________________"
This^ and do not dare to disagree.

https://www.npr.org/2018/09/04/644446963/authors-of-a-new-book-take-on-the-coddling-of-american-minds

It's a mess out there and critical thinking skills have never been worth less...especially to HR.
Old 09-28-2018, 02:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 911SauCy View Post
Love this topic.

As a salesperson, who is direct, articulate, and a killer listener...it's become increasingly apparent in the last 10 years how much of a differentiation this is for me.

Being able to intelligently engage people in a great conversation is being increasingly revered as a unique skill, which I plan to keep honing.

Otherwise, what masrum said basically sums it all up which I feel is an unfortunate leading indicator of decreasing social intelligence
Couldn't agree more. In this distacted world we live in, getting people to pay attention and take action takes skills. Gotta keep it quick, clear, and entertaining or the phones will win.

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Old 09-28-2018, 03:24 PM
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Did you get the memo?
 
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Nope, it’s you.
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Old 09-28-2018, 04:09 PM
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As 911SauCy said, I am sort of a schmooz master. It pays the bills.
Old 09-28-2018, 05:54 PM
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My main pet peeve similar to Vashs' is when people think "conversation"

is waiting to hear a keyword spoken and then just

telling their own story about said keyword.

It doesn't elevate anything or provoke any fresh thought.

get off my lawn
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Last edited by Gogar; 09-28-2018 at 07:41 PM..
Old 09-28-2018, 07:38 PM
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95% of party blah blah is formalized repetition of the same routines different people.
People hide behind their public friendly mask and try to offer little while trying to gain everything.
It's not what you say but how you say it.
Everyone tries to become the magnet at the center of the room; the person everyone wants to circle around as leader.

I'm more of a "make contact, exchange info, break contact" kind of person. Asperger's. Go in get 'er done.
They say familiarity breeds contempt.
These days it's too risky to let people understand who you are, because they will eventually trigger and flip out over something randomly at the wrong time.

On the other hand, by minimizing risk I probably miss out on meeting some very interesting people and new ideas.
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Meanwhile other things are still happening.
Old 09-28-2018, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun @ Tru6 View Post
I find most people are very boring.
I find myself boring, and yea, other people too. I have no interest in, or patience for, idle chit chat. Drives my wife nuts, as she is quite the chatterbox. She is energized by conversation, while it exhausts and depresses me. We will visit friends and I will spend the hours listening and trying to add somewhat to the discussions and leave exhausted. We’ll get in the car to come home and she will be wired, still chatting away animatedly, and I’ll be leaning my forehead on the steering wheel thinking, “please God, just kill me now”.
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Old 09-28-2018, 08:16 PM
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Life oscillates between suffering and boredom. What is there to be expected from a conversation about everyday life?
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Old 09-28-2018, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdfifteen View Post
I find myself boring, and yea, other people too. I have no interest in, or patience for, idle chit chat. Drives my wife nuts, as she is quite the chatterbox. She is energized by conversation, while it exhausts and depresses me. We will visit friends and I will spend the hours listening and trying to add somewhat to the discussions and leave exhausted. We’ll get in the car to come home and she will be wired, still chatting away animatedly, and I’ll be leaning my forehead on the steering wheel thinking, “please God, just kill me now”.
you know that's patently not true. And I hope I didn't bore you over brunch some time ago.

What I find interesting and sad is people have conversation over things like TV shows. Sports I get, the dynamics of the games, plays, etc., but to talk about a TV show? Or even watch TV but that's a different matter.

That said, after watching an episode of Ric Burns' New York, I had a great conversation with a friend about the Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire and the rise of unions, etc. and the parallels of today, then we got to the Guilded Age.
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Last edited by Shaun @ Tru6; 09-29-2018 at 03:57 AM..
Old 09-29-2018, 03:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LWJ View Post
As 911SauCy said, I am sort of a schmooz master. It pays the bills.
I would love to be able to schmooze. I can't to save my life. It's either real conversation or I just stand there.
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Old 09-29-2018, 03:58 AM
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I can talk about damn near anything with damn near anyone. I guess it's part of being in sales and part travelling occasionally with my dad when I was younger (also self employed in sales) and watching him interact with others. I find the more things you do (job, hobbies) the easier it is to talk to people and have a conversation.
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Old 09-29-2018, 04:06 AM
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I’ve had a hearing issue since I was born. I avoid most conversation in noisy venues. One day I’ll have to get hearing aids but until then I’m enjoying the quiet.
Old 09-29-2018, 06:19 AM
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The real issue is comparing others to yourself in the performing the Art of conversation. If we were all the same how boring would that be?

Old 09-29-2018, 06:38 AM
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