Is it normal to still be grieving 6 months after parent’s death?

[JavaBrewer]

Originally Posted by DanielDudley

Six months isn't a long time to grieve at all.

It's OK to be sad, and it's OK to cry for no reason. It is also OK to smile. We miss people, and we feel sad about loosing them, but we don't have to hold on to that feeling to prove that we love them. We aren't built to be perpetually sad, and those feelings will fade as long as we honor them and experience them instead of stuffing them.

Someday you will look back and see the happy times. In the meantime, cherish the ones who are still close to you, and don't stop doing the things that make life worthwhile.

Hang in there, it gets better.

Could not have said it better.

Realize that every living person today, and in the past, has/will go through this as some point. That fact will not lower your pain, but hopefully reassure that you are not alone in suffering. Years after the fact I still have dreams of my Father, good and at times horrible, they shake me today. My Mom will be next, and I try to connect where the relationship was not with my Father. I am doubtful but keep trying...perhaps I am a fool for this, but it is what I have to do.

[cantdrv55]

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I talk to my wife about my grief regularly because she can really relate as she had a great relationship with my Mom. My three brothers and I don’t talk about her death anymore though so I have no idea if they’re still mourning. I never considered myself a Mama’s Boy but I guess I am.

[SCadaddle]

Both of my parents were WWII vets; Mom an Army Nurse and Dad was in the Navy.

Mom passed away in 2010 at age 87. As part of her graveside military service, Dad insisted that "Taps" was to be played for her, followed by a brief pause, then "Reveille" was to be played for himself and the family to "wake up, get going, move on" so to speak. Apparently it was an unusual request, and the military crew had to bring both of their electronic bugles to pull it off. I later told Dad that there was at least one instance in history where that had been done; at the funeral of Sir Winston Churchill. Dad didn't know about that. But what it did accomplish is what he wanted us to do. Remember your mom and get on with life.

Fast forward to October 2017. I lost my 70 year old sister to cancer. She was single and her only child, being my nephew of age 51 stepped up into my Dad's will. He was more than likely conceived the day she graduated from high school, and she was married to the father of her child for about a year before they divorced. Consequently, he was raised by my parents as he was only a few years younger than myself.

March 2018 my Dad passed away at age 98. His funeral honors were exactly the same as my Mom. The family Estate is opened and goes into probate....

April 2018 my now 52 year old nephew, an heir to my Dad's Estate, dies of a self inflicted "purely accidental" drug overdose. He left everything he owned to his (previously deceased) mother in his will, so now it's up to the lawyers and the courts to determine if the "dead beat dad" is an heir at law or not to my Dad's Estate. It has yet to be resolved when....

November of 2018 my 62 year old sister is lost to cancer.

That's 4 in the time frame of 1 year, 2 weeks.

Now what was the original question?

[911 Rod]

My mother passed away 6 months ago today from an unexpected illness (unsuccessful brain surgery) and in the end I had to make the decision to remove her feeding tube.

I was not myself for months following her passing. I really didn't know it at the time, but now that I look back I can recognize my state.

We are all different, and it will take as much time as needed.

[fintstone]

My father passed on '94 and I think of him often. I was pretty upset for a while as I had always assumed that I would have more time to spend with him...later. There were kids to raise and work to do...and I lived overseas or on the other side of the country. Now my kids are similarly living elsewhere and consumed with making their own life. It is just a fact of life. Fortunately, the same things that keep you from spending the time you would like with parents/family continue and help with coping. I do know that my Dad was very proud of what I was doing...and would be now. I hope he knows how much we miss him.

[NY65912]

Mom passed away 21 years ago the day before Thanksgiving. I think of her everyday, in her sayings that I use, missing her cooking. Nope, it don't ever go away. But, I think of all the good, fun times.

My Dad passed away last Thanksgiving Day. I think of him less but I miss the evening phone call to him. He and I had a somewhat difficult relationship.

I went to the cemetery and put flowers on their crypt the Sat after TG. But, I go every month anyway.

November is not a good month for us, FIL 11/20 - MIL 11/21 - Mom 11/25 -Dad 11/23

Grieving does not stop, gets better and gets worse, day by day. Stay strong

[glewis80SC]

Yes...its been 5 years since my Mom died and 4 for my Dad I think about them everyday. My Mom was always my go to for questions about cooking, after she died I found myself still reaching for my phone to call her, I think this year was the first Thanksgiving where I didn't do that.

[Amail]

Both my parents are still alive, and my father and I are addressing our hit-and-miss relationship of my younger days by speaking by phone every Tuesday. I dread the day they pass.

I heard recently, maybe from a song; Losing someone isn't something you get over, but it is something you get through.

[RSBob]

There is no time limit on grief. Someone once said that the amount of grief is proportional to the amount of love.

Interestingly enough, grief is a cultural experience. Western cultures tend to grieve while others, formal grieving will go for a year, while others will throw a huge party that their beloved has made it to heaven, or whatever they believe and celebrate their good fortune in knowing the departed. Weird, I know. It seems that grief is learned.

[Tervuren]

Originally Posted by RSBob

There is no time limit on grief. Someone once said that the amount of grief is proportional to the amount of love.

Interestingly enough, grief is a cultural experience. Western cultures tend to grieve while others, formal grieving will go for a year, while others will throw a huge party that their beloved has made it to heaven, or whatever they believe and celebrate their good fortune in knowing the departed. Weird, I know. It seems that grief is learned.

I would say that the way many of our funerals occur are learned, but grief itself is natural. The way people connect is different, and what they have learned in life may alter.

My parent's parents are all dead. My dad's dad died before I ever knew him.

I will say it is happier in the long run to miss a parent when they pass away then to not care. I have seen both.

[911 Rod]

You will never understand grief until you go through it.