The "WHY DOES SHE" thread!
 

Deposit your light-hearted musings here. Good or bad!


tonight's example:



I'm learning how to cook, I'm a process guy so I love it. (results are nice too.)

I love when stuff shows up on the table at the perfect time in the perfect order and -also- tastes good.


WHY DOES SHE

Mysteriously disappear upstairs right as the first plate hits the table, to return 30 minutes later to a beautiful, ice cold setup?



cheers

Why does she ask me for advice...and then disregard everything I tell her?

Why does she tell stories in such a circumlocutious fashion?

...tell you where to turn AFTER passing the corner?

Why does she show up at the most awkward times...

https://photos.smugmug.com/Funny-Ran..._6_319_503.jpg

...ask me why I didn’t let “the guy” tie the Christmas tree to the roof of the car seemingly questioning why I had to do it myself?

Yep. Loose at least an hour each night listening to what happened during her day.
Then "so how was your day?"
Me "It was OK, what do you want to do for dinner?"

Long pause, *younger me* tries to fill in pause guessing next word, gets hammered for interrupting.... *older me* sits and will wait for an eternity for the next word, gets hammered for not helping.


I just smile now. She is lucky she is cute.

A. Freaking. Men.

A story that really only has 3 pertinent facts somehow morphs into a 15 minutes saga, and includes details of an unrelated conversation she had in an elevator and a recipe for lasagna.

I think it’s a clutch problem.

The mouth won’t disengage from the brain.

Why, when I ask what she wants to do for dinner, always says "Eat something"?

Is the recipe any good at least?

I guess I'm still younger....

Motorboat !!! :)

That's a Blapper. Take one in your right hand, one in your left, pull them apart, put your face between them, and let go. When they hit your cheeks, Blap!

Why does she speak in pronouns? “I saw Bob and Mary and Ted and Alice at the store. Her anal cysts are getting worse. He told her it was going to rain and would need a coat and umbrella, and wouldn’t you know she left it at the gym.”

Or give vague driving instructions. Approaching a T intersection, “OK, turn here.”

Repeating herself in the same conversation. :rolleyes:

Why does she say " well if you don't know I'm not going to tell you!".

Why does she answer my question with some rambling story that never ends in an answer?

Me: What time do we need to leave?

Her: Well, I need to finish my hair and iron a shirt and then warm up some stuff for the kids and then figure out which shoes to wear.

Me: So, what time do we need to leave?

^^
Oh man, don't I know!
MrsWD has a slightly different approach.

"Are you ready to leave?"
"Yes, I just have to finish my hair and put on some makeup."
"So, no, you're not ready."
"Yes, no."

I would break the internet with all the "why does she".

I got nuthin'....have no clue ;)

Exactly!

My wife is borderline brilliant at what she does but simply can't turn the corner to the finish line when relating a story.

^^^ Game/set/match right there ! :D Just happened two days ago I'm driving and spousel unit in passenger seat as the GPS . We are going to grand sons school for a concert he's in . I have been to the school once she has been many times . And it's dark out . I know we're getting close but I'm concentrating on traffic conditions , suddenly as we PASS a turn off she says " that's where I turn " !!! So I said you wanted me to turn there ? She says no ????????!!!!!!!!! Well WTF does that mean ? :mad: Then she says we can turn up here which is the next turn ......... and we did ........... and it was the wrong turn :confused: I turn around and go back and turn at the first spot and find a parking spot . I turn the car off and I'm turning towards her to voice my frustration with her instructions and she says " I knew we'd get here " . I shut my mouth and got out . But we did enjoy the concert ;)

Asking "Are you sure this is the right way?" when we are driving somewhere. I rarely get lost. She however, is directionally challenged. Before GPS on her phone, I was always getting phone calls where I had to figure out where she was from her vague clues and then give directions to where she needed to go. Now I always bring up the map app on my phone just to reassure her, even if I have been there hundreds of times before.

Yip!!https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...14b6d01d93.jpg

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk

This is my life story, I suck at looking for things. I sent this to my wofe and she laughed because it is true.https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...c2821309c5.jpg

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk

Had a completely different reply but thought better of posting it here....

OK, here is one I can ask you all to ponder.
Why does she put things away in random locations?
I need things to be put away in the same place for me to have any hope in finding it again...

She hates driving on freeways so we are always in the "designated lane".

Traffic slows or we are behind a big ass slow moving truck.
Me: "Why don't you move over and go around him?"
She: "This is my designated lane when I'm driving to (insert destination here)."

I guess you have all figured out I do most of the driving.

My wife has the entire kitchen organized around her workflows. She keeps the flour next to the sugar next to the mixing bowl she uses to make cookies next to the whisk she likes to use for cookies. This means that we have mixing bowls in 5 different locations. So if I'm cooking something, I can't simply look at all of the mixing bowls in one place or all of the spatulas in another place and decide which one is right for the job. No I have to search the entire kitchen every single time to find anything. And just when I think I know where something is, she decides to move it to a different location because it fits better with a different workflow.

WHY DOES SHE

Wipe down the countertop with Clorox wipes every 15-20 seconds throughout the day, but have 20 half-full cans of Diet Coke in her car?

Why read a text or email aloud that she is not reading to me.

Or "there is an empty parking spot!" after you pass it.

Wait until we are a couple blocks from the house to ask "are you going to wear that shirt?"

Most of us seem to have the same problem. This is an actual conversation with my wife yesterday....

My wife: "OMG. I was getting my hair done today and this lady did the funniest thing. You're gonna crack up! You know the girl I told you about with big dog like Tank. She came in today. Everybody was there. You know the lady who's husband also golfs. I think he plays in Ventura. I'm not sure which course, but you'd like him. I like her, and lady who owns the consignment store was there too." '--Now break to 15 minutes of blah blah blah blah--- "Want to see a movie tonight?"

Me: "Baby, what did the lady do that was so funny?"

Wife: "What lady?"

:confused:

Bingo!

My wife calls me to give her directions to different places. 🤪

She has a smartphone and navigation in her car!!!

We have three exits from the highway to get to our place. One is usually packed every night at rush hour, it is the closes technically to the house but during rush hour is about 30 mins longer. She is determined to take that exit so when we are meeting at home from say our daughters school. I will easily beat her every time. She has the latest gps in her 2017 Audi so I’m not sure why she doesn’t foresee this or see the exit is backed up to i90 and think, oh I can take the next exit...

Me: “Hey hon have you seen my keys (or whatever you’re looking for)”
Her: “Have you checked the by the front door? Have you checked in the kitchen? Did you leave them in the bathroom?” ...and on and on.

"circumlocutions", brilliant!

me, smiling, nodding, silently wishing she would either shut up or get to the point, because I am ONLY listening to be nice". And yes, for "that" reason...........

... say it's time to leave then stop to chat with one hen, then another, and still another, moving toward the door (although occasionally it's actually in the opposite direction) at a pace that I swear would make a glacier look like Usain Bolt, until I finally tire of waiting in the parking lot and re-enter the building to retrieve her?

_