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Synchro Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Prescott, AZ
Posts: 806
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Porsche Pharma Offer :)

Porsche joins pharma in a partnership that allows enjoyment of your car for up to four hours longer.

We are so excited to have been selected by PCNA (Porsche Cars North America) to help with the pre-launch of a special product tailored to our unique market. Yes, we obviously love the brand and certainly proselytize its virtues, but to be considered as the tip of the sword in this new development really makes us feel special.

With the ever expanding branding of all things PORSCHEŪ, it is hard to keep current with all the new models being released. Now, in an interesting expansion into the U.S. market, a new pharma based product has just completed U.S. Food & Drug Administration trials.

PCNA, in a confidential partnership with PfizerŪ, has developed a new capsule that provides an intimate immersion in enjoying your Porsche, or anyone’s Porsche, with as little as two hours notice.As a closely working partner with PCNA, Autokennel is proud to have been selected as a beta test group for their key target audience –the vintage Porsche owner. We can now offer you limited supplies of:



Taking one PORSCHE PILLŪ allows the "driver" to feel enhanced pleasure when viewing the Porsche silhouette including heightened awareness of one's "self being" when fantasizing about making high speed maneuvers on the Nordschleife. Furthermore, "drivers" (as Porsche marketing calls this new audience) have commented on no dysfunctions and an erect sense of awareness at any picture of a 911.

Ask your doctor if PORSCHE PILLŪs are right for you. Early signs of users who should not take PORSCHE PILLŪs include Lexus owners, monster truck owners or inhabitants of single wide trailers.

Side effects include stiff springs and erect antennas along with uncontrolled purchases of stroker kits. Additional side effects could include roll cage regret, excessive waxing and detailing and a reduction in tire sidewall aspect ratios. A small percentage of "drivers" may experience a buzziness in the inner ear -check with your mechanic to confirm if you have an aftermarket exhaust.

Don’t take PORSCHE PILLŪs if you drive a Camaro or Viper.

Call your mechanic before taking PORSCHE PILLŪs on track days.

If you experience exhaust leakage after taking PORSCHE PILLŪs, check with your mechanic as he may have installed an aftermarket exhaust. Please consult with your mechanic if your PORSCHE PILLŪs experience results in redlining for more than four hours.

Don’t take PORSCHE PILLŪs while tailgating a Prius in the high occupancy lane.

AND, most importantly, never take PORSCHE PILLŪs while ordering a new Porsche, specifically while ticking optional equipment boxes.

__________________
Horsepower is how fast you hit a wall.Torque is how far you will take the wall with you.

Last edited by Synchro Joe; 04-01-2019 at 04:48 PM.. Reason: Update
Old 04-01-2019, 04:40 PM
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A930Rocket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Mount Pleasant, South Carolina
Posts: 14,263
Do they come ribbed for her pleasure?

I usually turn them inside out for my pleasure!😎
Old 04-01-2019, 05:36 PM
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Politically Incorrect
 
onZedge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hoover, Alabama
Posts: 1,494
I looked into this and found that Porsche Pills are a First-Tier Level Prescription, which have no generic version available.

The local German pharmacist said "Porsche Pills? - There Is No Substitute!".
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Edek
'87 924S
'91 535i
Old 04-01-2019, 07:20 PM
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Driver, not Mechanic
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 3,008
Group buy?
Old 04-01-2019, 07:36 PM
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Banned but not out, yet..
 
RSBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: "Apple Maggot Quarantine Area', WA.
Posts: 6,422
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Porsche’s attorneys will be contacting you soon.
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An air cooled refrigerator. ‘Mein Teil’
Old 04-01-2019, 08:29 PM
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Bill Douglas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: bottom left corner of the world
Posts: 22,786
I notice they colored them blue.
Old 04-01-2019, 10:29 PM
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FUSHIGI
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: somewhere between here and there
Posts: 10,746
They leak a little each night?
Old 04-02-2019, 01:40 AM
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DanielDudley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,758
If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours,
Ge out of the damn car!

Seriously, you know that is a suppository, right?
Old 04-02-2019, 02:03 AM
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Get off my lawn!
 
GH85Carrera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 85,123
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Pretty funny!

Fortunately for me, I have a good memory of driving my Porsche. Screaming around Laguna Secca going as fast as I possibly can, or Roebling Road, and Charlotte Superspeedway is ingrained in my mind. The Tail of the Dragon is OK, but I have driven roads in Arkansas that put it to shame. Hwy One in California is mostly great for the spectacular view.
Driving in Michigan through the tunnel of trees was cool, and the Upper peninsula is just a forest as far as you can see.

The hills around McConnico, AZ look like the background for the movie in Cars.



After 24 years of owning my 911 I have driven it to over 40 states. I know if I hop in my 911 I can drive 911 miles east and be in Maryvilly, KY rand be ready to drive the tail of the dragon and the other great roads in the area. 917 miles to the west is Flagstaff, AZ. Drop south to Oak creek canon and lots of other great roads. But just a few hours away are the roads in Arkansas. Flat, smooth, beautiful scenery, and the best roads I have driven.

So I don't need no stinking blue pill!

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Glen
49 Year member of the Porsche Club of America
1985 911 Carrera; 2017 Macan
1986 El Camino with Fuel Injected 350 Crate Engine
My Motto: I will never be too old to have a happy childhood!
Old 04-02-2019, 05:27 AM
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