Originally Posted by Tervuren (Post 10409588)

It depends on how much power is wielded and the ensuing possible consequences.

As a gamer I tend to want to be around a variety of people, this often means keeping my own candid thoughts to myself as to be open would immediately set certain people against me. Part of this is at different times being a guild officer, founder, leader, etc...

In a leadership position I will make the hard call that someone that melts down over disagreements does not belong in my group in the long term. I will generally talk this over with others to hear their say.

Then it is time to go to the easily offended and explain that they either need to toughen up, leave, or face the ban hammer. Ultimately I do it because I know they will not be happy if status quo is maintained, and multiple people would leave the guild if status quo is maintained.

When I'm in charge of an organization and there is conflict I look at where I want the organization to grow or be. Straighten or prune as needed. When I'm in charge I want a place where thick skin is the norm, where people can disagree but still work together. I look at who makes the group weaker vs who makes it stronger, and weight in the balance.

Now lets flip the tables, lets say I am a member in an organization and not a leader. It then becomes a matter of where I expect leadership to fall should I stop walking on eggshells mixed with if I really want to be within that organization.

I am very charismatic in gaming, if I leave a place it fails. It makes me very reticent to join places in the first place as if I decide I don't fit in; the void of lacking my lively banter can shatter a formerly stable organization. There are other times where it was a natural exodus where people left for same reasons I did. I have seen both.

Now these considerations also apply to a workplace.

However family dynamics are different in that you don't choose your family. Your only option is an attempt at exclusion. Because other members of your family may not share your ideas the amount you have to cut may be much bigger than you expect.

I'm generally one to check the foundation my artillery is firing from before I load the cannon and fire it off. You don't want to do a "Humpty Dumpty".

Originally Posted by tabs (Post 10409840)

Sounds like manipulation to me

Originally Posted by pavulon (Post 10409993)

A co-worker's wife is currently doing her menopause thing. He frequently looks like someone has drained the life from his eyes. It's tough to watch but would be infinitely more difficult to live.

Originally Posted by Jims5543 (Post 10409583)

There was a time, after our second son was born when my wife became very unstable.

There were times when I would sit in the driveway, returning home from work, wondering what I was about to walk into. Was it a raving lunatic, or was it my awesome wife.


Thankfully she got help and got her hormones back under control.


It was about a 1 year period where I was in fear for my life.


Never before, never after, now she is the coolest chick on the block.

Originally Posted by Tervuren (Post 10410024)

Strategy is the manipulation of the present in order to reach the desired future.

When you're in charge people follow look to you to shape the future.

Originally Posted by Gogar (Post 10409608)

"Telling it like is is" is fine as long as you're cool with being alone. -snip-

Originally Posted by Tervuren (Post 10410024)

Strategy is the manipulation of the present in order to reach the desired future.

When you're in charge people follow look to you to shape the future.

Originally Posted by Gogar (Post 10409608)

"Telling it like is is" is fine as long as you're cool with being alone. Seems to me people who generally revel in "being a straight shooter" do so because it's kinda cheap. It's like driving without using your turn signals. You pat yourself on the back because you got to your destination but there's a pile of people behind you who don't really like you anymore.

Originally Posted by madcorgi (Post 10410412)

Well said, sir. I my steal it for use in one of my classes.

Originally Posted by Jims5543 (Post 10409583)

There was a time, after our second son was born when my wife became very unstable.

There were times when I would sit in the driveway, returning home from work, wondering what I was about to walk into. Was it a raving lunatic, or was it my awesome wife.


Thankfully she got help and got her hormones back under control.


It was about a 1 year period where I was in fear for my life.


Never before, never after, now she is the coolest chick on the block.

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera (Post 10409748)

My wife’s family is quiet and not chatty at all. My wife’s uncle Bill was a loud boisterous very liberal Democrat. No one in the family would dare talk politics for fear he would get mad and make a scene. We all went to “grandmas” house and uncle Bill was cutting some shrubs and sweating some. I loudly proclaimed wow, a Democrat that is doing real labor. He looked at me and let out a loud laugh. We both joked about politics a little, but we liked each other. I was the first person to ever say anything to him, everyone else just “walked on eggshells” with him. He was happy to see another personality that was not shy.