Depression and suicide

[cantdrv55]

My BIL suffered in silence. I thought something was up but he was such a private person, I didn’t want to pry. He took his own life Wednesday night. His wife found him hanging off the second floor banister with an extension cord around his neck. Sad effing time for the family. I miss the dude and I hope he’s in a better place.

[sc_rufctr]

God damn that's awful. His wife has a hard road ahead of her.

I'm guessing his wife is your sister. Help and support her as much as you can.

There should be a families of suicide victims group she could join for help.
I was dating a lady years ago who was in the exact same situation. (Her husband hung himself in their closet) The group helped her immensely.

[cantdrv55]

My wife’s sister’s husband. We married the sisters while in college so we known each other for 37 years.

[tabs]

I have met the widow of Tupac's bodyguard. He blew his brains out while looking straight in her eyes. That has really messed her up.

[kach22i]

Originally Posted by peteremsley

So sorry to hear this. There are most definitely good support groups and they do help.

It's not out of the question that cantdrv55 participates in some of these support group meetings, at least going to one would not hurt.

I mean we all assume the wife will need some coping help, but a life is like a stone tossed into a pond, there are lots of ripples.

Types of Coping Mechanisms

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

...and I hope he’s in a better place.

May you all find a better place....peace to you brother.

[pavulon]

ya...don't be the next person suffering in silence. It's ironic that time and talking are seen as the enemy of this stuff but are actually the only way through.

(edit: not discounting meds or ECT)

[slow&rusty]

Any idea as to what led to his depression? Job, something from the past? Very sad...RIP.

[wdfifteen]

I’m sorry to hear this. It must be very hard on all involved.
Any warning signs?

About 10 years ago my neighbor lost his job. He sold all of his stuff at auction and put his house up for sale at a “distressed property” price. We all thought he needed the money. As soon as they closed he hung himself. Turns out his wife’s name was not on the deed. He gave all the money away. His wife was left with nothing. It was all a big F-You to his wife.
To make it worse, the buyer of the house insisted on the terms of the contract. She had to be out of the house in 30 days.

[recycled sixtie]

I am sorry to hear about your BIL. His wife/your sister will need support from you and other family members. Please make sure she gets professional help.

I would like to relate to you how my father was at the end of WW2. He was a successful Lancaster bomber pilot and did two tours of ops. At the end of the war he went into a state of depression or delayed shock reaction. He was in a psychiatric hospital and my mother said a razor blade could not be left in his room or else he would have cut his wrists. He suffered from depression and smoked heavily. He died when he was 52 of cancer and I was 21 at the time.

And you cantdrv55 look after yourself and family. Time has a way of healing.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

My BIL suffered in silence. I thought something was up but he was such a private person, I didn’t want to pry. He took his own life Wednesday night. His wife found him hanging off the second floor banister with an extension cord around his neck. Sad effing time for the family. I miss the dude and I hope he’s in a better place.

Really sorry to read this. As everyone has mentioned I hope you all are getting some help.

My SIL had divorced husband #2 (out of 5), about 3 years later I ran into him sitting at a sports bar having lunch. We talked for about an hour he was completely upbeat and talked up his life like he had the world by the balls. We had a nice time catching up and I was happy for him after learning his life was on a good track, almost jealous of him as he was finishing up classes in school towards a degree.

The next day he shot himself in the head.

My wife and I were just discussing this thread over breakfast and what bothers both of us is the chosen location for the act. Then again, suicide is a very selfish act, therefore it should not be surprising one pick a location like that.

Sorry to read about this, it sucks.

[jwasbury]

Dang! Awful to hear. Sorry for you and your loved ones. Sudden and unexpected loss of a family member is tough, but has to be even tougher when that person has taken his/her own life. Definitely a situation where professional support is highly recommended.

Please take care.

[Steve Viegas]

I think depression is considered a disease. If cancer were to kill someone, we do not conciser is suicide...I am not so sure that suicide through depression should be considered a selfish act.

Originally Posted by Jims5543

Really sorry to read this. As everyone has mentioned I hope you all are getting some help.

My SIL had divorced husband #2 (out of 5), about 3 years later I ran into him sitting at a sports bar having lunch. We talked for about an hour he was completely upbeat and talked up his life like he had the world by the balls. We had a nice time catching up and I was happy for him after learning his life was on a good track, almost jealous of him as he was finishing up classes in school towards a degree.

The next day he shot himself in the head.

My wife and I were just discussing this thread over breakfast and what bothers both of us is the chosen location for the act. Then again, suicide is a very selfish act, therefore it should not be surprising one pick a location like that.

Sorry to read about this, it sucks.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by Steve Viegas

I think depression is considered a disease. If cancer were to kill someone, we do not conciser is suicide...I am not so sure that suicide through depression should be considered a selfish act.

I could have picked my words better agreed depression is a monster and very misunderstood.

It just blows my mind when someone picks a location like that to commit the act. Seems like a final FU in my simple mind.

[LWJ]

Awful. My uncle (who was a huge role model for me) killed himself.

I still hurt from this. His children will be forever damaged.

Yes. Get help.

[peppy]

Sorry to hear this. Too many people choosing this. Had a couple in my family also.

[billybek]

I have nothing to offer here except that I am sorry for your loss.
I have had a few friends and acquaintances that have died from depression. Sad times for all left behind.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by Steve Viegas

I am not so sure that suicide through depression should be considered a selfish act.

I agree. Major depression can be incredibly painful. It's not selfish to get rid of the emotional pain by suicide - it's better than putting your family through years of distress by self medicating with drugs and/or alcohol. Of course the best course is to have he courage do deal with the problem.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

I’m sorry to hear this. It must be very hard on all involved.
Any warning signs?

About 10 years ago my neighbor lost his job. He sold all of his stuff at auction and put his house up for sale at a “distressed property” price. We all thought he needed the money. As soon as they closed he hung himself. Turns out his wife’s name was not on the deed. He gave all the money away. His wife was left with nothing. It was all a big F-You to his wife.
To make it worse, the buyer of the house insisted on the terms of the contract. She had to be out of the house in 30 days.

WOW... That's an amazing story!

[pwd72s]

Richard Cory by Simon & Garfunkle....we saw it unfold here in real life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAGKpoVFbmw